To be offended?

[Myshoesarenew]

This is probably massively outing but I was sat in a work briefing day today listening to a bunch of talks. A man was talking about a funding programme that he works on and was talking about the process of getting a team together and submitting a bid. I’m sure it was lighthearted but he made a comment about how putting the bid together and submitting it was arduous like gestating and giving birth. AIBU to find this offensive? He doesn’t have any knowledge of what gestating or pushing a baby out might feel like, and coordinating a funding bid is not in any way comparable. I know he was making a joke but I feel like it was just devaluing what women actually go through. It was a throwaway comment but it’s still bothering me. I’m considering emailing him to ask him to reconsider saying that in future.

Let it go, OP.

Don't be a dick, it was a completely harmless metaphor.

I wouldn't be offended but I would be because it was like a fucking ridiculous comment, I'd just think he was a knobby try hard trying to be funny

Threads like this is why the internet was a mistake.

YABU. Let it go.

Good Lord.

Threads like this is why the internet was a mistake.

love that.

Let it go OP seriously.

Next time you talk to him, compare a small scratch you have, to being kicked in the balls. That should shut him up.

I would have done a big laugh and announced 'as if' to make him look like a twat at the time. Don't email.

YABU OP.

I’m considering emailing him to ask him to reconsider saying that in future.

Seriously?

There are no words

Take up a hobby or something but step away from the email.

I'd just think he was some kind of David Brent twat and move on.

Don't mail him about it, you will look like an idiot. This is in "professionally offended" territory. Just let it go.

Oh

Try Sudoku OP.

Sounds like you have a lot of time on your hands.

Oh please!

Well this is why we have the internet so I posted this and didn’t email him. It just felt odd being one of the few people in the room who could have known what the two things might be like and they are not in any way comparable. ‘It’s a bit like giving birth’ seems an odd thing for a man to say about writing a report.

Wtf? I've compared having a baby and doing a PhD quite a few times - am I allowed because I've done both or is that offensive? And, fwiw, I'm totally up for having another baby, whereas the thought of another PhD horrifies me...

Yeah, email him. Copy in HR. Good idea.

It's quite common to use it even in other countries. I use it and never gave birth.
Do you want my email address?

I wonder if professional footballers get offended when someone says they feel like they've scored an own goal?

There's no way they could possibly know what that's like unless they've actually played football...

I’d possibly agree with you about the PhD tbf. I’ve two children and one PhD and I wouldn’t do another, or encourage other people to do one unless they really wanted to

Gestating 🙄

Assuming he is of normal intelligence he doesn't actually think it's like giving birth; it's probably one of those metaphor things...

I work in research and have also had a baby and have also delivered babies for a living - I’ve made a similar comparison in a presentation between preparing a grant and gestating and delivering a baby. It’s light hearted and nobody in their right mind would think he was saying the two things are exactly the same thing. You’re overthinking.