To be offended?

[Myshoesarenew]

This is probably massively outing but I was sat in a work briefing day today listening to a bunch of talks. A man was talking about a funding programme that he works on and was talking about the process of getting a team together and submitting a bid. I’m sure it was lighthearted but he made a comment about how putting the bid together and submitting it was arduous like gestating and giving birth. AIBU to find this offensive? He doesn’t have any knowledge of what gestating or pushing a baby out might feel like, and coordinating a funding bid is not in any way comparable. I know he was making a joke but I feel like it was just devaluing what women actually go through. It was a throwaway comment but it’s still bothering me. I’m considering emailing him to ask him to reconsider saying that in future.

I’m well aware that AIBU has a tendency for being a bit brutal, I hope you’re all a lot kinder to each other in real life!

Are you offended in not being told you should be offended?

And your not of the type of professionally offended?

It sounds like he was just using 'birth' to describe a process that's long, difficult and boring, but worth it in the end.

Which leaves me a bit baffled as to the problem. Let it go.

Oh dear.

I wouldn't send him an email but I would think he was a nob. If I had been feeling naughty I may have well heckled at that point!

Jesus there are some sensitive souls in this world. Grow a pair and live and stop taking things to heart.

You're more than aware that OP is not capable of growing a pair, assuming you mean balls. We're going to need your email address.

Of course!

[email protected]

You should've laughed and asked him if he often shits himself delivering a report

I’d have said something like ‘like giving birth was it? Did you shit yourself doing it?’ 🤷🏻‍♀️

Don’t email him. Don’t be THAT person.

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan snap 😂

Threads like this is why the internet was a mistake.

This

My god, stuff like this makes me wonder how people like you carry on day to day life without being offended, it must be draining.

LET IT GO.

As for AIBU being brutal, that is usually the response when the OP doesn't feel like they've got their way.

I think if perhaps at the time, when he said it, you had piped up; "Errr, it's actually nothing like it!" (or something much wittier!), then that would have been fine and may even have got a few laughs on a par with those his comment received, but still thinking about it hours later and even contemplating emailing him... total overkill @Myshoesarenew!

You should've just joined in and given an equally lighthearted response something like, 'Oh! If you only knew...!' -- and then everyone would've laughed at that too, and moved on.

@TheHandsOfNeilBuchanan & @LemonadePockets

You’re making a mountain out of a molehill.

You will look ridiculous if you email him, let it go.

If you want to get yourself a reputation as a professional whinyarse and shit-stirrer, go right ahead: call HR, file a grievance, cry on Twitter and consider reporting him for hate speech.

@BetsyBigNose
Yah, same idea! Not that mine was witty, mind...

(sorry for three posts in a row, everyone. )

He probably should have had a tad more respect for the women there but seriously, let it go. Harmless.

I think this is a fairly common comparison when discussing something that is drawn out and difficult. I wouldn't take it personally.

It's a stupid metaphor. But maybe he has empathy with women with difficult childbirths. Like writing the report.
Leave it.

Having given birth twice, and worked on funding bids, I would rather give birth again any day of the week!

^^
It's a clumsy analogy but not misogynistic I feel

Would you feel the same if a childless female colleague had said it instead? After all she would not have any idea what gestating and pushing out a baby might feel like either.