To be offended?

[Myshoesarenew]

This is probably massively outing but I was sat in a work briefing day today listening to a bunch of talks. A man was talking about a funding programme that he works on and was talking about the process of getting a team together and submitting a bid. I’m sure it was lighthearted but he made a comment about how putting the bid together and submitting it was arduous like gestating and giving birth. AIBU to find this offensive? He doesn’t have any knowledge of what gestating or pushing a baby out might feel like, and coordinating a funding bid is not in any way comparable. I know he was making a joke but I feel like it was just devaluing what women actually go through. It was a throwaway comment but it’s still bothering me. I’m considering emailing him to ask him to reconsider saying that in future.

Oh ffs lighten up

Yeah, I know it’s a metaphor. I’m just wondering whether he (and all the other men who laughed enthusiastically) think that childbirth is easy. Maybe it’s because the piece of work he’s talking about isn’t that difficult

And this is why people use the term "snowflake".

But so what if they do think childbirth is easy?

Unless one of them has made you pregnant, why would you care what they think?

Thanks @SpotlessMind you’re right, I am overthinking it. And I think the OP gives the impression that I’m angry about it or worked up. I’m not. I’m confused as to why it annoyed me.

It's probably one of those metaphor things

Or even a simile.

I have three children and a career in creating funding bids. The bids are definitely more frustrating and you get a lot less help and "aw huns" with them.

I’m just wondering whether he (and all the other men who laughed enthusiastically) think that childbirth is easy.

If it makes you feel any better, he almost certainly chose the metaphor because giving birth is famously hard (and also because - like applying for a grant - it's a hard thing that you do for an excellent final outcome). He was using the birth metaphor to exaggerate/emphasise how hard the application process is, he wasn't using it to undermine how hard giving birth is.

Oh dear. Bit of an overreaction I think.

Oh ffs.

*Jemima232

It's probably one of those metaphor things

Or even a simile. grin*

you wouldn't believe I have an English degree and get paid to write stuff for a living...

YABVU

Luckily bolding is also not a big part of my job 🤦‍♀️

No need to be offended, it’s a joke. Clearly he means it’s just a ball ache and a strenuous process he’d rather not be doing.

Ugh could this be any more weary??

You are one of those perpetually offended types OP. Life must be really hard for you, taking offence at every opportunity, real or imagined.

it’s just a ball ache

Do you have balls? Because if not, you can't possibly know how ball ache feels😮
I need your email

Fuck me, so glad I don't work with people like you, now that would be hard work

Oops just clicked YANBU when of course you are totally U. I wonder if any one else in the 10% did that?

Maybe the bid gave him piles so in that sense is similar to pregnancy and childbirth.

Hey, my first ever !

Ok, so I was being unreasonable. That’s ok, I can live with that. And I’m not professionally offended, or a snowflake, or awful to work for, or anything else like that.

I just had a reaction that puzzled me and made the mistake of asking the internet which on reflection was a mistake.

I’m well aware that AIBU has a tendency for being a bit brutal, I hope you’re all a lot kinder to each other in real life!

@Yogurtcoveredricecake that made me chuckle

We usually compare writing a book to giving birth.

Nine months of preparation, and then it's out in the world, three weeks where everyone is excited about it and wants to talk to you about it and after that no one cares.

Metaphorically, of course.

I do have some sympathy. I work in a similar role and sometimes find myself with groups of men using quite inappropriate metaphors. It does get wearing and in my case sometimes shows complete disregard for the subject matter of the projects. I would definitely be eye rolling at this.

That analogy is as old as Socrates, bit late to get offended.