To want to walk out and start over...

[FookMeFookYou]

This is in response to yet another job rejection due to my 'circumstances'

The circumstances being that I'm currently a SAHM with an 18m and 9 year old. I'm HR qualified, have six recent job related qualifications and been out of PAID work for 2 years having relocated and fallen pregnant just before moving (following years of infertility).

I'm heading for a minimum wage job and I fucking resent it. I've worked too bloody hard to stay current and evidence my CPD to keep being rejected for jobs that I am more than qualified for.

I resent my circumstances totally and I just want to leave all this behind and start again on my own. No responsibilities other than myself.

To make matters worse my DH career is flying (of fucking course) and I'm on the shit heap at 37!! Honesty I've truly had enough...

Before anyone jumps on me - I love my kids but me having a prolonged career break was not through choice. No one else's plans changed, only mine...

And of course there is nothing wrong with earning minimum wage - a job is a job, however I want to recommence my career in my chosen industry which I have worked really hard for.

A productive career break and one extra child should not be a barrier to that!

So pissed off right now...

Can you not edit your CV to have less focus on the SAHM years? A two year break from paid work is not much so I would be surprised if that was having a massive detrimental effect on your applications.

You certainly are under no obligation to mention your parental status on a job application so I would take that out of the equation entirely and see what feedback you get. If people query the gap in your employment you could always fill it with something else such as travelling/study/ carer/ family time investment.

I feel the same op, not a Sahm but need part time hours due to childcare issues, I also work in hr. trying to find a part time hr job where I would be took seriously and professionally is like finding a needle in a haystack! Just because I need to work part time it doesn’t mean I am any less serious about my career, yet here I am level 7 cups qualified and I am more a hr administrator/general dogsbody than anything on shit money....all because I need to pick my kids up from school, it makes me so angry!
Sorry no advice I just no how you feel.

*cipd not cups.... autocorrect!

Is there no temp work, contract work or fixed term work you could apply for? A man who I know is completely unreliable, but well qualified in IT. He is 100% successful when he applies for contract or agency work despite the gaps in his CV.

Are you aiming to go back at the same level? You may well have to take a step down

@whocanbebothered I tailor my cv to each job that I apply for, not too much hassle and worth it to increase my exposure. Plus I only apply for those that I feel are a good match most things considered - commute, hours, salary etc

It just feels like casual sexism at best...

Today's rejection was despite the advert stating it was fully flexible. Had a chat with the employer, we arranged to meet - all good. I called back to clarify a couple of points and noticed a change in tone. 30 mins later a rejection by text!

Personally I think it should be up to me to decide whether my circs are workable around a job, and that sure as shit doesn't impact in my ability to perform the role.

You're right I don't need to disclose my status but I thought a modern employer wouldn't act as if my and DH children are solely my responsibility.

Honestly this role was written for me. Part time initially, decent pay for the area, fully flexible apparently 🙄

@gingajewel honestly I could scream. When I think about how many women are in a similar situation it makes me wanna burn my bra and go on a shouty rampage.

I see so many posts with ppl giving advice to not be the classic "sahm=mistake, relying on your DH, you'll be left to rot, get all your ducks in a row because you won't have a leg to stand on financially..."

I just keep thinking we'll currently that's me and I'm desperate to get out of that situation but I ain't Jesus and can't work fucking miracles 🤦🏽‍♀️

@Singlenotsingle I'm trying everything single, not just f/t perm. The only stipulations really are that I want to stay true to my career path (entry level being acceptable short term) and that it has to be financially worth it, I.e not working to a deficit rather than wanting to earn mega bucks.

I'm totally realistic, just getting sick of being rejected for ridiculous reasons

@IAskTooManyQuestions nope, just a foot in the door as I know it won't take long to work my way up again. Like @gingajewel said its a needle in a haystack, particularly when you're not in a major city.

I wish I hadn't left London but we'd already commit to a house purchase 😕

I personally think it’s quite hard to switch to p/t & flexi hours or have a career break without it affecting your actual pay unless you’re in the public sector. The friends I have that have done it are civil servants, teachers, docs, etc.

Could it be that you're being too open about your circumstances that it is putting people off?

Meeting up with a prospective employer is great, but if you lay all your situation on the table in all it's glory that would be a turn off

You’re not near Sheffield at all are you OP? We’re desperate for a part time HR person!

Register with every single local temp agency you can, after I took 18 months out to go travelling I found this was the only way back into work. I took 3 or 4 temp roles through agencies and the last one became a perm role after 3 months.

What questions were you asking to make them change tone?

@fancynancyclancy I agree, I think the public sector due to its nature provides more opportunity to switch things up

@DewDropsonKittens you could be right but then all would be revealed eventually so I rightly or wrongly thought it's best to state the basics now.

I still feel that he made an assumption about my ability to fulfil what he needs for this role currently and that's really shit. We could have talked it out and if at that point it was a no then I'd at least feel it was more justified.

Dumped by text 🙃

@Pushmepullyou I'm so far away I may as well be on the moon 😔

That's another point actually is the lack of HR jobs in this area and surrounding towns. Loads of employers but a lot have made the move to shared service which narrows the choice even further

Yeah I think there is a much better work/life balance & part time doesn’t appear to affect your progression as much.

@QforCucumber I said I would come back to him to confirm a window and realised I had an appt mid morn to early afternoon. Booked over a year ago so nothing that could be changed. However, it was a positive as the place where I had the appt was actually where his office is meaning he wouldn't have to travel and meet me locally.

He just seemed offish and stated that he hadn't yet checked his diary to confirm a time. So I thought well you can't be that keen then, seems a bit off...

I could tell he'd already made his mind up but as he didn't say anything during the call I tried to tell myself not to be defeatist. Then came the text 😕

The problem is, there is always someone lined up to do the job just as well as the person who came before.

Employers want make an attempt at eliminating the risks before they recruit, by telling them all your potential 'issues' childcare, husbands job, etx etx you give them the opportunity to decide you're not the right fit, no matter how qualified or amazing you would be at the role.

I work in HR & have just changed jobs. I work full time with 3 kids. I never once mentioned my family commitments - it wouldn't even occur to me to discuss at interview. If/when offered the job it's then up to me to see if it's workable with the hours/commute

That is really annoying... where are you based? I would keep going via recruiters. Summer is a very quiet time. Things tend to ramp up in the job market in September and January x

Some companies have off shored their HR

Companies are also employing less people for all roles due to Brexit

How many vacancies are there available in your area that you have applied for ? If you are saying there are limited vacancies anywhere in your close proximity, is it not just, that the few jobs you are applying for , already have the candidate in mind.

Are you getting any feedback or are they just not contacting you ?
Have you spoken with the agencies on how the market is currently in your field ?

@DewDropsonKittens this is the thing tho, my circs shouldn't be viewed as problems - they are just my circs and would be so whether I disclose them or not. I thought I was dealing with a progressive employer, based on, and I quote "the role will be p/t initially and flexible around your commitments. Working just 3-4 days per week or a few hours daily, Mon-Fri"

I can commit to that and that's why I applied.

Usually I'd agree that there would be a line of ppl queuing for the role who have the same skill level and quals however my experience is very industry specific and not common amongst local (and surrounding towns) jobseekers due to the fact similar employers are based 60+ miles away.

I guess I'm saying it's quite niche and I maybe naively assumed this was why he was offering flexibility to get the 'right person'.

He's made a quick judgment on something that so far should fit within the parameters of what he is advertising for

But this is the problem @CatyaPurella, I already no ft is not going to work for me, I just wished this doesn’t make me seem like I don’t want to progress, I’m desperate too, however I have significant childcare issues so have to be able to pick my child up at 3.15 (there is breakfast club which I already utilise but no afterschool club) that doesn’t mean I wouldn’t be a damn good asset to a company or that I couldn’t work 8-3 but no one is even prepared, it’s all full time, mostly 8.30-5 and I don’t see the point in applying to then say actually no I can’t work for you when you have clearly stated ft only on your job advert, because I can’t do that.
It’s shit and I think it does equate to casual sexism at best! Until my eldest is at senior school I just physically cannot do it due to circumstances!