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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Dh doesn’t get up till I’ve woken him about 5 times.

98 replies

RebornFlame · 30/07/2019 08:59

It’s such a manchild thing to do. Just get the fuck up and stop snoozing your alarm and saying to me ‘just 5 more minutes’.

I’m rushing around downstairs looking after two kids, trying to clean up and get ready for work.

AIBU to find this disrespectful?

OP posts:
Original poster
RebornFlame · 30/07/2019 09:00

On the plus side I’ve arrivrd early to work so get 10minutea me time in the car!

OP posts:
Mumteedum · 30/07/2019 09:00

Don't do it. It's his responsibility. You're taking part in a parent child dynamic. If he over sleeps then it's his problem.

Tableclothing · 30/07/2019 09:01

Does he not have to get up for work?

GreenTulips · 30/07/2019 09:02

Couldn’t agree more.

Stop doing it.

fedup21 · 30/07/2019 09:03

Who is looking after your two kids now you are at work?

If it’s him, I’d send the kids into him whilst I got ready for work

Yeahnahmum · 30/07/2019 09:03

You've got a "you" problem

Why on earth would you go back repeatedly? If this is what he does all the time, just tell him that next time you will try to wake him but will only do so ONCE if he then choses to snooze another 50 times let him

Unless you need him to look after your kids as you have to head out for work. Then just try to wake him once and if he doesn't come out: lock the kids in the room with him Grin

Dont let HIM make HIS problem yours!
He is not a manchild he is just being an inconsiderate twat

FenellaMaxwell · 30/07/2019 09:04

Just don’t do it.

Reallybadidea · 30/07/2019 09:07

‘just 5 more minutes’.

Why would you not shout say until he actually moves his arse "No, get up now you lazy fucker and come and look after your children."

Followed up later with a conversation about how you're not going to put up with this shit and he needs to start acting like an adult.

Singlenotsingle · 30/07/2019 09:08

A well aimed jug of cold water will do the trick!

thecatsthecats · 30/07/2019 09:09

Yup, stop 'waking him up', plonk the kids in there with him, and do your own thing.

He can't call unfair, because that's exactly what he's doing to you.

KatharinaRosalie · 30/07/2019 09:10

I would agree with the 'don't do it' advice if there were no DC involved. But why should OP be the one who gets the children ready while the other parent sleeps happily?

MonkeyToesOfDoom · 30/07/2019 09:10

Why are you being a mum to a grown man? No way I'd be finding that attractive in a partner.

MarianaMoatedGrange · 30/07/2019 09:24

So many posts on MN showing that when the woman becomes a mummy to children, she is also expected by her partner to mummy him.

Very unattractive and needs nipping in the bud before he totally regresses into childhood!

QueenoftheBiscuitTin · 30/07/2019 09:26

I'd be tipping cold water over his head. He's taking the piss and acting like he's a child and not a parent.

gingersausage · 30/07/2019 09:26

I wouldn’t bother with any of them. As it’s the school holidays, the kids aren’t going to be late so set your alarm for you, get yourself ready for work and leave.

What’s the absolute worst that can happen?

Treaclesweet · 30/07/2019 09:28

Cold water to the face. To help him.

You're doing this to yourself. Think of it as practise for being firm when the kids are teenagers.

bringincrazyback · 30/07/2019 09:30

Does he have trouble sleeping? Is he depressed? Agree he should still be helping you regardless, but he isn't necessarily just being lazy.

Idontlikeshopping · 30/07/2019 09:31

Need more info. How old are the kids? Is dh at work? Will he clean up once he gets up.

I wouldn't be happy about being woken up if it was my week of, but then my dc are old enough to fend for themselves for half an hour while I snooze.

ParmaViolet44 · 30/07/2019 09:32

Big fucking bucket of water. Then leave. Grin

SeaViewBliss · 30/07/2019 09:33

You have to have the conversation with him during the day first and tell him you will not be doing it anymore. Then don't do it anymore.

Sexnotgender · 30/07/2019 09:33

How old are your children?

Idontlikeshopping · 30/07/2019 09:34

I'm not sure why people are jumping on the 'throw water over him' bandwagon without more info.

For all we know it could be the dhs week off and the kids could be 8 and 10.

GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER · 30/07/2019 09:36

Why on earth can't he get up by himself?

Tip - get an old fashioned, mechanical alarm clock - much louder and more insistent than phone or battery ones - and put it on the other side of the room so he HAS to get up to turn it off.

It's what I used when now and then I had to get up at 3.30 am for work.

Or else there's an even better old fashioned method - the cold wet sponge!

onedayiwillmissthis · 30/07/2019 09:39

Why are you doing this? You are not his mother. Just stop. Or carry on and accept that it's your choice.

twoshedsjackson · 30/07/2019 09:48

I second "GETTINGLIKEMYMOTHER* with the mechanical alarm out of reach. I always found early rising difficult, but needs must - so I had the "Clanging of Doom" alarm at the opposite side of the bedroom; the more civilised bleeping one by the bedside went off first, and I knew I had five minutes.... The school holidays seem like the perfect time to stop worrying about getting the children ready; if they're old enough, you could send them in with a nice cup of tea, or a lovely picture they have drawn to show him. Tell them you're off to work, and Daddy will sort out breakfast.

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