DD3’s curly hair becoming matted, dry, rough

[IAmJustSoTired]

AIBU to think something is going seriously wrong with my daughter’s hair and that it shouldn’t be THIS bad?!

She has curly/wavy hair. It starts off straight but falls into curls and waves. It used to be beautiful, shiny and soft but for the past few months is turning into a mess.

The picture attached shows her hair when I opened her (loose) bun after she woke up in the morning. It is completely matted, dry and tangled.

When she bathed, I shampoo and condition it. It looks great for one day, then reverts back to being a mess.

If it helps, she also suffers from nits - they come and go but we treat them every time she gets them (from family members who refuse to treat their kids heads properly!!!) but still, I feel like the constant medication might have taken a toll on her hair.

Should I chop off her hair?
Is there a product that could help?
Any tips for girls with curly-ish hair?
What can I do to help my daughter because it’s horrible seeing her upset when we end up inevitably spraying detangling spray all over and trying to run a brush through the matted mess her hair used to be so lovely and now it’s just a mess! I feel like cutting it and starting over.

This is exactly what my hairs like.

I use some coconut oil on the very matted bits and comb through with a tangle teaser or Afro comb, I use conditioning masks as conditioner I also use a leave in just to get a brush through it when it's wet.

Never brush dry hair.

As an adult with curly hair some of these points seem a bit odd - I would never put Skin so Soft on my hair?!? Is this for the nits? There are plenty of amazing hair products that are actually meant for your hair instead of putting random crap on it.

It will be the chemicals that have dried it out, I had a really greasy phase so used abrasive shampoos and had bleach highlights and it got like that. People have suggested tea tree - that’s an astringent oil so will dry the hair - but it is good for parasites supposedly.

You don’t need to cut it off but a really good cut will help. Don’t brush or comb when wet is good advice but use a Tangle Tease - the Denman version I don’t think is as good as the original TT. I wouldn’t not shampoo, that’s not very good advice, the scalp still needs to be looked after and cleaned even when someone has dry hair - she’ll end up with a smelly itchy scalp if you don’t wash it a few times a week. Just choose a natural shampoo that is meant for dry hair and a single shampoo 2/3 times a week. Choose a really good natural based conditioner for dry hair, after spending ££££ in the past I’ve found Yes To Blueberries conditioner which is about a fiver - it’s amazing, I get it from Amazon. It doesn’t have any chemical crap in it. Styling wise for the past 3 years I’ve been using Intelligent Nutrients detangling spray. This is spendy but amazing, it has essential oils in so might be good at keeping the nits at bay. Again it’s natural, no chemicals. I then use John Masters organics rose and Apricot hair milk. Again a bit spendy but you only need a small amount - it’s my Holy Grail. I get both of these from the Naturissimo website. Advice on not towel drying or blow drying is good. Plaits or space buns using scrunchies (rather than bobbles) when wet will keep out of he way whilst drying and deter nits. You can put the the hair milk or conditioner on dry for an hour or so as a treatment a couple of times a week that will help. Just do it before on of your shampoo days.

As a mum to two long haired lovelies, I can promise you I have tried every over the counter product going. Some in the region of £15. Every comb. Electrical divide.

Skin so soft works. It washes out well unlike some branded ones, which leave your hair greedy. Or the shampoo on ones you can’t get a comb through.

It works people!! And at £3.50 a pop a bargain to boot.

Spray, comb and wait 15 mins, wash out, repeat 4 days later (just Incas you missed a few) it destroyed the glue that the eggs cling with. It suffocates the life.

Worth a go!

Device
Greasy
Lice

AND the little buggers slide right out!

I haven't read through all of the replies so I'm sorry if this has already been said:

• Stop using shampoo. Use conditioner only. If you need a shampoo,, use a low-poo.

• Do not use the tangle tease brushes being recommended. In fact, never use a brush ever again. I haven't brushed my hair for 13 years. I use an afro comb/wide tooth comb only. And never comb it unless it has conditioner on. Once she's out of the bath/shower, only ever run your fingers through.

• Search Curly Girl Method on Facebook. It'll change your life (and her hair) for the better!

CurlyEllie changed my little girls hair and made it SO easy to take care of. She created the curly hair products when she couldn't find what she needed for her young daughter. I can't shout about them enough. Get the starter pack and never look back! All the products are sulphate free and the more we use them, the better my little girls hair looks.

My little girls is very curly and our routine is

• shampoo and condition once a week with sulphate free curly Ellie stuff. When conditioning, I tie the hair up for 15 mins to really soak in.
• pat and squeeze with DH's only towel and leave to dry naturally
• leave in conditioner after the bath
• spray wet each morning, comb through with a Wet Brush (the brand) and apply curly Ellie serum. Scrunch and leave to dry.

So easy and beautiful curls! She offers an intense mask to properly get moisture into the hair which could work really well for your little one as well as a detangling spray too.

*DH's old t-shirt, not towel