DD3’s curly hair becoming matted, dry, rough

[IAmJustSoTired]

AIBU to think something is going seriously wrong with my daughter’s hair and that it shouldn’t be THIS bad?!

She has curly/wavy hair. It starts off straight but falls into curls and waves. It used to be beautiful, shiny and soft but for the past few months is turning into a mess.

The picture attached shows her hair when I opened her (loose) bun after she woke up in the morning. It is completely matted, dry and tangled.

When she bathed, I shampoo and condition it. It looks great for one day, then reverts back to being a mess.

If it helps, she also suffers from nits - they come and go but we treat them every time she gets them (from family members who refuse to treat their kids heads properly!!!) but still, I feel like the constant medication might have taken a toll on her hair.

Should I chop off her hair?
Is there a product that could help?
Any tips for girls with curly-ish hair?
What can I do to help my daughter because it’s horrible seeing her upset when we end up inevitably spraying detangling spray all over and trying to run a brush through the matted mess her hair used to be so lovely and now it’s just a mess! I feel like cutting it and starting over.

Stop using shampoo to wash it, just use conditioner.

Sounds disgusting but I promise it works. Also invest in a nitty gritty comb and use every time you condition, keeps bits at bay and you don’t need chemicals.

Have a look at the curly girl method there’s a Facebook page for support. It’s brilliant!

But a tangle tamer wet brush too.

It is probably the lice treatments conditioner and nit combing is better you need to nit comb for a fortnight because tbat is the cycle of the louse, also how often are you washing her hair?

It probably is the nit treatment. I would suggest cutting her hair really short to get rid of it once and for all, then follow the curly girl method.

Try Avon’s Skin so soft daily oil spray

The Nit glue that sticks them to the hair dissolves and they comb out - only need to wash twice after and hair left super soft

Do this every 3/4th day if any have hatched and now catchable in a comb.

Use tea tree oil - a few drops daily or in a water gun with water and comb through - like don’t like the smell

Plate her hair until clear

Tangle teeter and hair oil eg argon oil. My eldest was the same and had a few bouts of nits - nightmare to treat with such curly hair. It’s just wavy now she’s older and it’s longer. We did have to cut a bit of hair at times.

Skin so soft is £3.50 or they do deals for 3 bottles and much cheaper than normal nit solutions

I would also recommend the tangle teaser hair brush! Best £10 I ever spent

That's exactly what my hair would look like if I slept in a bun and tried to brush it! Do you have curly hair yourself op? It does take a special kind of maintenance.

I would recommend:
Wash with a moisturising shampoo/skip the shampoo sometimes
Always condition all over
Rinse
Brush with a tangle teezer when still wet
Leave to dry - ideally just down and loose

It should then look nice that day, but will go scruffy after sleeping on it, unfortunately that's just the way it goes as head on pillow seperates the curls and tangles them up.
To refresh the curls for the next day spray heavily with water mixed 50/50 with conditioner. Brush with tangle teezer when wet, leave.

There's a children's range of curl products called curly Ellie that I've seen on Instagram that look really good, I'm tempted to try them myself!

@GreenTulips

Where did you buy it from, if you don’t mind me asking? I just googled it and Boots comes up! Is it really worth it?? If so I will definitely try it out as a few PPs have also mentioned it.

Dd still uses her tangle teaser she is in her 20s and had similar hair when she was younger.

I don't think it is ruined by the nit treatment, my curly hair feels coarse and dry when not at it's best or if I try to brush it when dry

I have a daughter with similar hair.

Only use conditioner on her hair and try to avoid blow drying it. Dd2 gets a shampoo once in a blue moon and I'll leave the conditioner in for a lot longer on those occasions.

You can buy conditioner with tea tree oil in which is a nit repellent - Alberto balsam do one which is a lot cheaper than vosene nit repellent stuff and just as effective.

Ditch the brush and invest in a couple of wide combs. We have one really wide Afro comb and another one with teeth a little less far apart for when I want to put her hair up.

I also spritz all my dc's hair with water and tea tree oil on a daily basis for school days. Holidays not so much as I know who they are playing with.

If your family aren't treating their dc's nits then make sure your dd's hair is always up around those children and spray with hair spray as well. Otherwise I'd say avoid those family members but a) it's not the children's fault and b) I understand that can be easier said than done.

Try curly ellie They have their own website and Instagram has loads of pictures . Also don't comb it just use your fingers combing is not good for curly hair.

Yes it is worth it and vegan too no weird stuff. Try their starter pack first and you won't feel it is too bad

Don’t put it in buns. Plaits are much better

My DD has curly hair and we used a tangle teaser and conditioning spray when wet, into a plait before bed then when you wake up it is not all tangled and you can brush it out with your fingers it may still be damp but dries quickly and much nicer

A wet brush (brand not a brush put under a tap) is so much better than tangle teasers. I have the same kind of hair. I would also get get a silk pillow case. The warmer nights and the spray could both be causing knots but my hair always gets knottier if I sweat

My DD has hair like this. Yes to the tangle teaser, but we only use it for 'smoothing' the top when putting in ponytail for school. We also have an afro comb that is kept in the bathroom, she combs her hair with that in the shower while conditioner is in and that's the only time her hair is 'properly' combed.

Her hair is always always up or plaited for school, she only wears it loose on weekends. If she needs to keep it untangled at night I put it in a loose French plait. Her hair is beautiful when washed and left to curl, everyone comments on it, but it can be quite high maintenance!!

@Icedlatte

You probably have wpoint there - my own hair is just the slightest bit wavy but certainly not as curly as hers. Now that it’s longer (to the middle of her back/almost reaches elbows) it probably needs more care than it did when she was a baby with a bob!

Thank you for the rest of your tips (and also big thank you to everyone else, I’m Taking note of it all!) - super helpful Will definitely start trying these methods out.

Definitely recommend the CG method.

If it’s down her back and she’s getting nits all of the time I’d:

• Cut it to shoulder length
• Wash with conditioner and use a nit comb at least once a week when she has no nits, and every day when she does.
• use sulphate free shampoo and conditioner
• put a small amount of Aragon oil on her hair after washing
• buy a Demman tangle tamer (paddle brush) it’s 10000% better than a tangle teaser and can be bought at Tesco’s/boots/super drug

I second @Blahblahblahnanana s post. And never ever ever try to comb or brush her hair unless it's wet and full of conditioner. I don't think I've brushed my hair in over a a year and my curls are much happier for it.

Curly girl method is definitely worth a read.

So after hearing about the CG method for a year but never looking into it (honestly I thought it was one of those fast trends that didn’t mean much), I’ve realised how little I knew about looking after curly hair!

Thanks to everyone who mentioned CG method, going to make sure I have a printout so I remember to keep the tips in mind and am now on the hunt for CG approved products (feel free to continue with your fab suggestions)

My DD1 has insanely curly hair and DD2 has thick wavy hair. They only use conditioner, and shampoo perhaps once every two weeks or so - depends on the weather obviously and how much they sweat. Shampoo dries curly hair so much. I also use a spray bottle with water, a few drops of tea tree oil and a bit of conditioner to spray their hair with in the mornings.

And please don't touch curly hair with a hairdryer, and avoid brushing as much as possible - just run your fingers through it.

Pic of DD1s hair when she was a bit younger (her hair is much shorter now).

I was just as confused when I first started dealing with my dd’s curly hair as I have just a bit of a wave. I joined a curly girl group and found a bunch of good info

1. Never use shampoo
2. Only use a brush when hair is wet
3. Not all conditioners are curly girl friendly
4. Protein deep conditioner occasionally

Don’t use a towel to dry. If you must use an old cotton shirt

1. Tie hair up on top of head at night to sleep to avoid tangles and hair getting damaged. Some ppl go further and use silk hair caps and pillowcases
2. In the morning I have a spray bottle with watered down conditioner that I wet my daughter’s hair with and then use a denman brush to detangle (fingers can work too)

Good luck

I have a curly haired dd and spent hours googling the best way to maintain her curls and keep frizz at bay.

Curly girl method is your friend. Look it up and adjust to her needs. Knowing her curly type etc helps.

Avoid shampooing if possible, or reduce shampoo days. I just use water or condition dds hair in between washes. I also tend to leave a small amount of conditioner in her hair after washing, and let it dry naturally. If you can, avoid brushing when dry and only when wet.

Hope you can figure it out! Can be a nightmare.