To ask if you were bullied at school?

[LetsJustDance]

For three years a boy told me I looked like a man. It's affected me ever since I'll never feel pretty and feminine, and I hate that little turd for what he did / has done. He was only about 12 at the time but I hate him even as an adult. Does anyone else harbour hatred towards someone who hurt them as a child, years later?

I do @LetsJustDance. There was a little shit who made my first three years at secondary school a living hell. I haven’t laid eyes on him for over half a century but I can see his nasty little face now. I’d love to have the chance to tell him the damage he did.

The best advice I can offer is to live your life as well as you possibly can. At the risk of sounding a bit Mills and Boon, someone will come along who thinks you’re beautiful and make you feel that way.

Yep. One girl in particular was horrendous. Remembering some incidents involving her upsets me even now, pathetic as that may sound.

Yes and it was the reason I left school at 16 and did my gcses without revising for them

I was bullied in primary school by a girl who picked on me (and encouraged the girls in the class to do the same) because I was the only girl who had short hair (my mum thought it was chic eyeroll). It didn't stop until we reached secondary school and I made my own friends.

Many years later I was a patient after a car crash in the hospital she worked in as a nurse. I told the matron that I didn't want her anywhere near me because we had previous. She was apparently really upset, didn't know what she'd done wrong, and I told the matron I didn't give a shiny shite how she felt.

I got bullied in primary school, id try to hide in yard they'd find me, I was unkempt it may be an easy target.
When I started secondary school it was a large school in a council estate, I gelled with the tougher
group of girls, not bullies just girl's who took no crap, I became the anti-bully go too, I possibly bullied the bullies.
I still hate bullying I hate anyone making a person feel inferior, I always call it if I see it. I am very sensitive to others feelings like DD, I see it as a good quality.

No.

In fact, now I think about it I feel sorry for the girl who bullied me. She obviously had big issues. I wonder how she's doing now.

They say the best revenge is living well.

I did, but I made the decision to let it go because the only person it was affecting was me. Took many years to get to that point though.

Yes, I'll never forget the boys who made my life hell in secondary school. I bumped into one of them in a pub a couple of years ago and he apologised for the things he used to say to me. I thought well, he's realised what a twat he was but as far as I was concerned the damage was done and I've been insecure about my looks all my life. If I ever saw one particular poisonous little bastard again I would actually go up and smack him one. This is why I can't bear school reunion type groups on FB. Everyone is so rose-tinted and nostalgic and what a laugh we all had. It was fucking actual hell for me, and like a PP, I took my exams without revising or trying and failed the lot.

Yes all through high school. I was intelligent child and could have done well but I failed all my exams and left with no qualifications as a result of the constant anxiety and stress of trying to avoid getting beaten up every day.
Yes I still feel resentful and bitter.

Yep, went to an all girls school and some girls in my year group were particularly nasty. I try not to think about them and their hurtful comments but they do come back to haunt me once in a while. I secretley hope that they get their karma one day .

it takes a long time if ever to recover from the humiliation of being bullied

Yes in junior school. We moved to England when i was 7 and everyone had their friendship groups.
I had a strong Aberdeen accent and was basically repeating an academic year as the Scottish system is different so i was bored as well.
This nasty little boy was absolutely horrible to me and I used to have nightmares about school. I still remember wanting to grow up and run him over with a big car.
Some other girl was vicious too about the way i spoke until i couldn't take it anymore and punched her in the face knocking a tooth out so i was the "bad girl".
Secondary was lovely as i went to a school out of their area and made lifelong friends.
I work there now.
All that made those dark days bearable was knowing my lovely family had my back.
Over 40 years later i still remember the names of the nasty little shits.

I got beaten up and bullied several times at school and by a family member , I just kept quiet and didnt fight back which I still do now age 50 if someone starts as I would rather run away than endure the hurt

Yes, girls who I classed as my friends at primary school bullied me when we moved up to secondary. They called me only by my second name and would laugh at me and look at me like I was worthless.
I sincerely hope they have shit lives now.
One of them is in a nursing/caring profession and I know she is shit at her job and not well liked. She is also a single mum after relationship broke down.
Tbh it makes me smile.

Yes I was badly bullied in the first 3 years of secondary. I am now in my fifties. The only thing I can say is that although it affected me badly, my life has eventually had a better outcome then theirs. I have a great husband and adult daughters and a reasonably paid interesting career.

Theirs include: girl 1 death from drug overdose aged 17; girl 2 chronic debilitating illness for 40 years; girl 3 suicide attempts and depression, with a nasty husband and divorce; girl 4 cheating lying scrounging husband and divorce.
I don’t believe in karma and I am not sure that bad deeds catch up with you, but I think on the whole I have had a better lot in my adult life, which is of some comfort.

I went through something at my all girl private school between the age of 14. My parents never changed schools and basically just told me to ignore it. I started self harming and spent year 9-11 basically being severely depressed. it was a catalyst for a downward spiral and destroyed my self confidence. It affected the schools I applied to for sixth form.

I'm now 27 - lots of therapy helped me get through it.

Bullied in the Junior School. I wonder does she even realise she did it (I see her around a lot, she is my FB 'friend') but there isn't a day goes by I don't forget how she made me feel and I'm sure the anxious person I am has much to do with those three years.

Yes. By a girl when I was 14-16. It was particularly vad but she made me feel very uncomfortable. She left me alone after I accidentally pushed her over. I’ve since discovered that several other girls felt the same about her, and people who I count among my friends knew what she was doing but kept schtum to stay on side.

My friends and I got called 'sad' and 'saddos' because we were not promiscuous enough it would seem.
One of the "cool" girls who bullied my friends and I came to my house recently to buy a rococo mirror off me. She looked very haggard and rough and I smiled inside.
One of the boys who joined in the taunts saw me out recently and started to chat me up. When he realised it was me his face was a picture.
"Oh you recognise me now? Piss off!" I said.

Head girl was actually expelled and doesn't seem to be doing anything much. The other just writes rubbish on facebook.

After a slow start of doing another degree first- I start my 5th year of medical school in september.

I do still get dreams about school though, the best revenge is massive success and I'm a huge believer of karma.

I wasn’t bullied myself, but there is a nasty girl who I saw bully other people at school. One of my friends is friends with her and says “she’s changed”, whereas I can’t forgive her what I saw and want nothing to do with her. Nasty piece of work. Anyway, she’s not particularly successful now which makes me feel warm and fuzzy inside. I know it’s illogical but I think probably feel guilty that I didn’t step in so am channelling self hatred for that into her.

I wasn’t bullied as such but I took my fair share of being name called, nasty comments and girl cliques .

I myself were no angel and I dished out some unkindness during a rebellious stage .

I was never nasty about someone’s looks or circumstances but I wasn’t a very nice teen.

I did grow out of it and now I’m a very kind , empathetic person .

I look back now and realise that I was very insecure and my parents very messy divorce contributed hugely to my sense of place in the world .

High school was awful and tough for everyone and I thoroughly hated it !

I’m often a bit aghast at some people who hold grudges against things people have said to them when they were primary aged or young teens.

I can certainly understand people who endured out and out relentless emotional and physical bullying , but IMO people who wish ill on others for actions they did as children aren’t in great standing themselves as people .

Teenagers are well known for being arseholes .

There’s a huge difference between a general teenage arsehole and a person who sets out to harm others on a regular basis .

I wish no ill on the children and teens who were arseholes to me - many of them have grown in to lovely people .

I do think social media and anonymity has taken bullying to a whole new level these days

I wasn’t really bullied but some kids at secondary could be really cruel.

I have ASD and a girl had her mum meet with our teacher and ask if I could never be paired with her in case I held her back both academically and socially.

Yup. Me. The good days were when they used to ambush my at the lifts and beat me all the way up to level 10 (pressing buttons on every floor) the bad days were when they burned me with their cigarette butts.

I hear you op, one remark from a boy in my first year at secondary school shattered my confidence. After life at a very small primary school and back in the day before most of had a clue about fashion/appearance etc being told I looked like a dog has stayed with me for 35 years. I wonder what goes through the bullys head when they say things like that. We've all probably said things we regret under stress and pressure and regret it instantly but to deliberately show someone up or poke fun is something I've never understood 🤷‍♂️