To ask if you were bullied at school?

[LetsJustDance]

For three years a boy told me I looked like a man. It's affected me ever since I'll never feel pretty and feminine, and I hate that little turd for what he did / has done. He was only about 12 at the time but I hate him even as an adult. Does anyone else harbour hatred towards someone who hurt them as a child, years later?

I was never bullied thankfully. I was the ‘village policeman’s’ daughter and everyone was very nice to me (probably by instruction of their parents) I hate people that bully though. I hate that they feel superior to whoever they’re bullying.
My son was picked on (not really bullied) by a little lad when he was in reception. He used to make fun of the way he said things, the way he looked, if he got anything wrong in class. I had a polite word with his mum and thankfully things were sorted out and they’ve been the best of friends since.

It makes my blood boil when I see kids picking on younger ones or others that don’t have the best of everything 😡

I had D cup breasts aged 12, and was in a mixed school. My life for two years was an endless stream of comments from the boys; I might as well have had no other features at all. I hate my body and do not feel at all attractive and I am sure that was a big reason for that.

I didn't realise how toxic it had been, until #metoo came along, and then suddenly realised.

chockaholic the girl who was vile to me at school was a midwife where I had my DC. I would have absolutely refused to have her anywhere near me, even 20 years later.

I was bullied horrendously at school. My two children have had broken bones,been spat on, videos uploaded online, strangled and god knows what else I didn't find out about.
I tried very hard to keep them in school but found teachers to be powerless to stop it tbh.

I now home school them, it's lovely to see their old personalities emerge again.

Yes - through most of secondary school. I saw one on the bus when we were in our 20s and she greeted me as though we were friends

I said something really awful to her - and her face crumpled. Can't say what it was as mn will go mad! But I do feel better for doing that. I can now let it go.

I was in year 5. Year 4 was fine, turned up the first day of year 5 expecting to sit with my 'friends' only to find they'd turned on me. There were 2 who were particularly toxic. The teacher was absolutely hopeless, and clearly didn't like me either. Eventually after my mum had been to see her numerous times she handed the situation over to the headteacher. I felt so elated at the thought they were finally going to get dealt with, after months of misery. And what did the headteacher do? Invited us all into his office, handed round the biscuits and smilingly told us to go and play nicely...

After nearly a year of bullying, including being told I ought to be dead, physical assaults, and missing what amounted to weeks of school because I was 'ill', my mum chased down the main culprit in the street and gave her a real bollocking. It did ease off for a while then. The ringleader tried it on again in year 6 but I had a fantastic teacher that year who nipped it right in the bud. It did have a pretty massive effect on my self esteem, and I've never caught up with the schooling I missed.

Nahima, if you're reading this, fall off a cliff. And feel free to take Eva with you. :-)

Yes. I'm ginger.
Actually, at one point I was ginger with glasses AND braces on my teeth.

I used to harbour bad feeling towards the many that bullied me (all girls) but I actually have bloody gorgeous incredibly long naturally ginger hair that I love and everybody compliments me on. I'm 38 next week but still look in my mid twenties and all those who used to bully me look quite haggard on their Facebook profiles. So no, I don't give a damn about them, I'm a far better person than any of them.

Yes. The boy who did it called me names etc, embarrassed & humiliated in me in front of big crowd of his mates, daily, for years. Fast forward 6years I'd lost the glasses, looked good & was on Holiday from University, in a pub with my friend.He didn't recognise me but asked my friend who I was. He was mortified & tried to make nice & pretend it hadn't happened. I froze him out, didn't even speak & he left a sweaty motified wreck. He was unemployed & still living at home. So I felt karma had kicked in. It left me with huge social anxiety & trust issues that are still a daily struggle tho. For years I still felt ugly despite lots of male attention that I'd never had in my teens.

FurrySlipperBoots

I’m sorry you went through what you did.

I obviously don’t know the full circumstances of what happened to you but to me , wishing that this person “falls off a cliff” is a bit shocking .

Those people would have been 9/10 year old children .

Do you really believe they are the same people as they were when they were children?

They may well be , or they may have grown up .

There’s a particularly mean girl in my son’s year 5 class now , however , as much as I’ve dealt with it for my son , I haven’t written her off as a bad person because she’s a child right now .

For a good term or so, the boys in my form would sing "Who let the dogs out" whenever I walked into the classroom... Funtimes

I think secondary school children are definitely old enough to know better...I don't know any one who was a little shit at school that turned out to be a nice and decent person. They're still vile

Not bullied in the sense you mean, but I was subject to serious sexual harassment by a group of slightly older boys when I started secondary school at 12. Pretty much daily groping and being told in detail what they wanted to do to me. It lasted about a year until the ringleader left the school.
I have only hated one person in my life and it was him.

I was a little shit at school

I got in to stuff I really shouldn’t have done and got myself in to some very sticky situations .

I’ve grown in to a well rounded adult with my own DC . I have good friends and I have good morals .

You can’t write a child off - fair enough if they are big shits as adults !

So sad to hear the pain others have been through and can relate. My school days were horrible. I left as soon as possible and with no qualifications. Yes, I have done well since then and take pride in my achievements but those early experiences leave scars. I have absolutely no idea where the bullies are now though heard one was in prison. I try not to give them any energy.

I suffered constant verbal bullying from a group of boys from year 7 to year 11. I was an easy target (hand knitted school jumper among other things) and it never stopped. The teachers would hear it and just ignore it. One even joined in as it was "funny". Well I found it funny that he got the sack a while later due to inappropriate behaviour.
The school claimed to have a "no tolerance" approach. What this meant was a no tolerance approach to anyone reporting bullying. Nobody gave a shiny shite as "they're not hitting you".
My mum told my brother and sister to "look out for me" which was crap as they'd both spent a big chunk of my childhood actively bullying me or at the very least keeping me isolated. My brother thought the whole thing was funny.
My confidence was trashed. I'd had a shit teacher in primary who thought it was funny to make me cry and my secondary teachers just didn't care. No wonder I ended up having quite a severe mental breakdown at university. I couldn't cope and have never fully recovered.
I hope the bastards all get what's coming to them. I have not one iota of sympathy. So you have a shit home life? Yeah well so do plenty of others who don't turn into horrible people. It doesn't give you the right to take it out on someone else.

BobLobLawLLB

I’m so sorry to hear what happened to your children I hope they’re doing ok now.

Yes. And some of them tried it again when I joined Friends Reunited (ever the optimist, me)

Luckily I've made good friends through all my working life so I don't take that kind of crap from anyone anymore so they got verbally dealt with and that was the end of that.

Also, I live far enough away to never clap eyes on them again.

I was bullied at secondary school for two years. It was at a comprehensive girl’s school 30 years ago.
I’m over it now, but nobody did anything at the time and I just had to cope. It was awful. No physical bullying, just a campaign to try to make me feel worthless. Whispering and laughing when I spoke in lessons, criticising my appearance, calling out my name, then saying. ‘Not you, the other Nuff’ with a look of disgust on their faces. All stuff that’s difficult to prove really.
I don’t hate them now, but it affected me for about ten years with feeling that I might have something wrong with me. It’s hard to resist that feeling when a group of your peers tell you that every day for two years.
I have very high self esteem these days so that’s why the hate has gone.
I would like to know though: why do they bully? Why do it? I wouldn’t do it.
There are some adult bullies at my place of work (at a school, but they are LSAs, not teachers). I was upset when I found out what had been going on there, even though it doesn’t affect me directly.

Not bullied as such but shy and awkward, I had a very pretty half cousin who was in the year above and unfortunately we shared the same surname so I often had boys asking why I wasn't as pretty as her and if I came from the ugly side of her family etc.. There was one boy who was with this group and he never ever said anything nasty but never stood up for me either, after we left school we met while out one night and had a bit of a thing for a few weeks and he apologised for letting them all just be mean to me but it didn't mean much and I've always told my son to stick up for people because it means so much.

I also had the usual group girl friend issues where one of us would be out of favour for a couple of weeks and I always took that to heart.

I hated school.

I was - from when I was 10 until I left senior school for Sixth Form college at 16. It was name calling and exclusion, and left me with low self esteem, anxiety and depression.

I was bullied for being fat and for being a ‘swot’. It wasn’t horrendous but it was the go-to comment from boys and girls all the way through my entire school career from 5-18.
I’m now a size 10 and the number of people from my school that have blown up into enormous fatties makes me hope I run into them when I’m back in my home town. I also out earn every single one of them by miles and miles which also pleases me greatly.
Fat swots for the win!

Bullied all through primary. Once all the children in the class were encouraged not to talk to me by ring leader and not to touch me or be touched by me. Teachers thought I was weak and pathetic. Makes you feel as though you are valueless (i must deserve this, there is something inherently awful about me) and stays with you for life.

Bullied in 1 st year until I went to attack the ringleader and had to be held back, they all backed down after that. Don't hold any malice toward them, I'm happy with my life

I was bullied at school for being gay. I’m male, well trans, but still male (!!), and I wasn’t out nor did I even want to be / think I was gay. But everyone thought I was gay so used to do horrible things to me. I went to school in the 80s, and AIDS had come to the forefront of everyone’s attention. I remember walking into one class, and on my desk was a handful of aids awareness pamphlets, and scribbled across one of them was “fags deserve to die”. I didn’t say anything, just picked up the pamphlets and put them in the bin. Everyone just laughed at me, including the teacher.

It got worse as time went on. The girls would all poke fun at me and snigger, the boys would alienate me and a couple of times I got beaten up. It was made worse by it being at a time when I didn’t accept myself, or even believe I was gay, so I just felt so alone. I did make friends with a couple of boys, but they would tease me and say things which I hated, and others would question them, saying “why you hanging around with that fag”, which of course meant that it wasn’t long before they excluded me from their group.

Horrible time at school. Funny thing is, I was on Facebook a few years ago and was friended by loads of people from school. None of them remember it all. Which kind of makes it worse. It had a massive affect in me, and they can’t even recall any of it, so it actually meant nothing to them.

Oh well, I’m happy now, they can all fuck off, and I’ve accepted myself - most important thing!

I wasn’t really bullied, but I was singled out because I was different. I was serious about getting the qualifications I needed to get to university. This was not considered normal behaviour at the crappy run-down Derbyshire comprehensive school I went to in the 1980s. I was the first in my family and the only one of my friends to do so.

I have no idea what the people who mocked me are doing now. Working at Greggs, probably .