To ask if you were bullied at school?

[LetsJustDance]

For three years a boy told me I looked like a man. It's affected me ever since I'll never feel pretty and feminine, and I hate that little turd for what he did / has done. He was only about 12 at the time but I hate him even as an adult. Does anyone else harbour hatred towards someone who hurt them as a child, years later?

Yes. Primary and secondary. But primary was worse actually. My primary school bully ended up in a young offenders institution for robbing an elderly couple!

Nothing like what others on here have experienced, but I was teased a lot through primary for being chubby. I had friends but they could be bitchy and blow hot and cold for no reason. I was miserable.
Secondary school was much happier but I remember one boy who I had to sit behind in one lesson each week, who would turn around to look at me like I was a piece of shit and tell me I was pale, ugly, so ugly I would never get a boyfriend etc etc. Never knew why he had to be so vile as he was nothing to look at himself (and I had a boyfriend all through secondary).
Some people's experiences sound just awful. If my kids experienced any of it I would remove them from the school.

When i was in primary school ,a fat bully took to bullying me. One day i whacked him and then he didnt bully me again.

Yep. When I transferred schools in the equivalent of Year 4. Still remember their names. Still remember their ghastly piggy little faces and how they knew they could get away with it because the teacher considered them 'bright boys'

I know it wasn't me because I'd had loads of friends at my previous school which was located in a far less wealthy area. The new school definitely had a culture of bullying and having stayed in the area it was the 'over my dead body' option for my own dc.

Yes I was bullied.

I think I've managed to forgive.

Taking a lot longer to recover from it though.

In junior school. Not as awful as some stories here but still very hard and although I go for years at a time without really thinking about it, when I do I still find it very painful to remember.

It was much worse after I dared tell an adult. Sometimes I think, if either of my DC are in that position, maybe I’d rather encourage them to fight back for themselves. I don’t want to support violence, but I reckon if I’d given that girl one good smack, she’d have left me alone.

In retrospect I think actually a lot of it was jealousy, which I’d never have believed at the time, but I was a very clever child and she would have liked to have been the ‘out there’ clever one, I think. She had a difficult home life.

It’s hard to know how much it’s really affected me. I don’t ever really believe people like me and I find it hard to trust people, but I think at least some of that is to do with my relationship with my mother, and my damaging first adult relationship with a partner, and maybe none at all is related to the bullying. Or maybe loads. I don’t know.

We are early thirties now and I’m very content with how my life has panned out so far, doubts about my basic likeability notwithstanding. From what little I know, it looks like perhaps her life is all good too (two degrees, marriage, at least one child) but these are quite arbitrary markers and it’s entirely possible she feels wretched for all I know.

Yes,thank you lego they are 10 and 6 so hopefully it will be a long distant memory one day.

Yes.
Moved from NZ to Australia when I was 13. Obviously had a very different accent, and where I grew up it was unheard of to see teens my age with dyed hair , make up , piercing etc. I rocked up with plaits and a thick Kiwi accent. I was a very good swimmer and did well academically.
I was mocked relentlessly, by a specific group of girls who used to chant my name in the playground imitating my accent, steal my lunch, was slammed against lockers regularly by a girl who didn't like the way I looked at her etc. It was horrendous. I had no friends for about a year, until the church going girls took me under their wing, and the older members of the swim team started to pull rank on the bullies and got one thrown off the team because of it. ( locker girl). Life improved a bit after that.
Changed schools for final two years on a swimming scholarship - very fancy school. Got completely excluded because I was better than anyone else on the swimming team ( why they poached me)which unfortunately consisted of all the popular girls.
I completely fucked myself in the first term for the following reason.
I had repeatedly won a particular event at national comps for 4 years - this was why I got the scholarship. One of these girls tried to claim that I had only beaten her because she was bad at turns in a 25m pool. The school actually gave her the position to compete in this event. I offered to race her in a full length pool to determine if what she claimed was true, when she refused, I then also refused to swim for the school at all.
Upshot was, the Head intervened , explained to the sports mistress the whole point of me being at the school and I swam the event. The other girl also competed in it as a concession to her. She didn't make the semi-finals, I won the event. That was it for me for the next two years. Totally excluded. Didn't care by that stage, as was so used to being bullied. I like reading so spent a lot of time with books in lunch-breaks.

Locker girl actually worked with the wife of one of my closest friends years later. She spoke about what good friends we had been, and how she would love to catch up. I greatly enjoyed telling the truth to my friends and her over a glass of wine at a pub. Petty and bitchy I know, but it was most satisfying to watch her mumble excuses and leave.

It has left me with a deep dislike of women in groups of any form.I do not have a group of female friends I regularly hang out with because I do not trust the pack mentality many women have.
The majority of my close friends are male, with one or two exceptions I have made in later life.
But it has given me a really strong character, and I couldn't care less what people think of me now. Sometimes I'd love to take my 46 year old mentality back to my teenage self and kick some serious ass.

Bullied all through junior school and through to last 2 years of senior school. I have naturally curly hair, there were no products in those days and my hair was not pretty. That made me an easy target, coupled with the fact we were very poor. I was miserable and the school were useless. I sat all my exams but most of my results weren't the best as I didn't want to be there, I cried every day, mum forced me to go.
As an adult I become quite good at martial arts and was as instructor when one of the worst bullies came to my class. It's childish, but so satisfying that we both knew who was the tough one now if that makes sense. She might have been verbally abusive and would put gum in my hair and push me over in the mud, but I'm capable of inflicting serious harm on her now. I wouldn't of course, it just felt good.
I feel smug about those that are the single parents on benefits who never amounted to much, when I had a shit childhood partially because of them but as an adult I'm very fortunate with a great DH and a great life. Sometimes things work out.

Yes, was bullied by a lad who was actually my first boyfriend. After we split up. Called me fat (I wasn't fat, completely Aberagd size) every single day, every single time I crossed paths with him. For around 2 years. School did nothing to help me. The only thing that stopped him was a few months before I left school my then boyfriend gave him a hiding. He left me alone after that and I was able to complete (and pass ) my exams at 16. On my last day at school after our final exam (so the last ever time I saw him) he walked past me and said see you later you fat cow and laughed at me with all his mates. So I followed him out of the school gate and when we were both out of sight of anyone I belted him one, split his nose open, and walked away.
It didn't help though because the mental scars destroyed my self asteem, I've been depressed, self harmed, had a terrible relationship with food ever since. I had to have counselling before starting a family as I was terrified I'd starve myself during pregnancy for fear of being 'fat' - bear in mind I'm a size 6/8. I'm ok now but I don't think it'll ever completely leave me the hurt that person caused.

My school bully was originally my friend but turned on me - it was all very “Mean Girls”. She went out with 2 boys I had dated previously, copied my GCSE options (had never showed an interest in Languages before and suddenly was taking 2 at GCSE) was insanely jealous of my happy home life and my academic ability. Even said she had the same middle name as me - even though she didn’t have a middle name?! As an adult I look back and see she was so obviously jealous of me. But at the time I was just hurt that a previously good friend had decided she hated me and turned lots of other people against me.
The things she said and did affected my ability to make and keep female friendships, and it’s only in the last 5 years or so that I’ve recognised that and managed to overcome it.
I pity her - last I heard she was still in our economically-deprived home town doing a not very well paid job (she bought into a franchise). I’m not interested in knowing anything about her - that information was learned on the grapevine - but it’s sad that she was such an unhappy individual. It’s never happy people who are the nasty ones, is it?