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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think festival should have helped me?

258 replies

MyAppleTree · 28/07/2019 15:49

Not really a big deal, but home and musing. Went to a festival this weekend, on my own. Had an ok time.

For context my stuff was really heavy, 8 man tent huge heavy, only one I could borrow and obviously had to bring it back.

The night before I’ve left my asthma inhaler ran out, and I’ve started bleeding and cramping from a minor procedure I had done last week. I had an asthma attack about a week ago too.

Anyway the car was absolutely miles away, through mud and hills. Sincerely worried I could not physically make it. So I thought I was sensible going to camp welfare and asking if there was any way to hire a buggy to take the stuff to the car. They said no but sent me to first aid to see if I could get an inhaler to manage the asthma doing the drag.

First aid wouldn’t give me a spare inhaler unless I was having an actual attack, not just feeling wheezy. No help available obviously for the cramping as I need a gp to assess that.

So basically no help.

Now I did make it to the car. Very very breathless and in pain, car got stuck in the mud and had to be towed. Stupid gear and I fell down a few hills too!

Hence not a big deal because while breathless I have made it home (2hr drive) and have my inhalers. And yes it’s my own fault for not picking up my spare!!

So just a hypothetical really, were they unreasonable not to help me when I asked? It could have ended differently.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 17:06

WHen you aren’t a dickhead and forget your spare inhaler!!

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 29/07/2019 17:23

Fantastic, I bet they cost a fortune.

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 17:24

Probably ad I can’t get the stupid thing mud free.

I feel deep deep regret right now.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 17:26

It’s quite cool, you press 5 valves and it goes WOOSH and it’s down ready to be rolled!

OP posts:
PuppyMonkey · 29/07/2019 17:26

Hope the festival was worth it.

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 17:28

NOPE in any way, never ever ever again.

No adult human should have to repeat to themselves “don’t look it’s just mud it’s just mud” when going to the toilet.

OP posts:
Jessie94 · 29/07/2019 18:01

No they weren't being unreasonable. It wasn't their fault you weren't properly organised.

I go to about 3 festivals a year - with my toddler in tow. I lug everything from the car to the campsite myself with a 3 year old on my back. Yeah it's horrible and hard work but it's just part of going to a festival.

An 8 man tent for 1 person is just ridiculous though. Most festivals wouldn't have let you in. You can pick up a 1 or 2 person tent for less than £20.

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 18:16

Yeah Jessie I lugged it there myself.

Never asked for help so...

And would have (and did) lug it back. All I asked was if they had a buggy hire like many many people got on the way in. Or another inhaler as mine ran out.

8 man lesson learnt, though I would point out all those £20 tents were dumped by their owners when they left.

OP posts:
Alleycat1 · 29/07/2019 18:23

Ok, read full thread. You seem to be getting a bit of a kicking. You've put your hands up to forgetting your spare inhaler, also to taking a tent of an inappropriate size. You weren't expecting complications to what is a simple procedure and you didn't ask anyone to pack of carry your stuff. So, imho the organisers of the festival were VU not to let you hire a buggy to get your stuff back to your car. Why not, when they hired them to people coming in😣 No wonder so much stuff is left behind at festivals!

exaltedwombat · 29/07/2019 18:31

You'd probably have been better off, like Blanche, 'relying on the kindness of strangers'. But private ones, not officials.

Two anecdotes. A few weeks ago I tried to do a job, requiring moderately heavy equipment, without taking the car into Central London. I got it all on a trolley and set off. I knew I'd have to ask for help at a couple of flights of stairs on the Underground, but wasn't unduely worried. I've assisted plenty of pushchairs in my time, Karma would repay. And so it did. But when I got to the last stretch, I was physically exhausted. I just couldn't make it it. A couple of passing strangers (students, I think, of Middle-Eastern origin) cheerfully took over, I got to the job. The bad news - no, it was worth a try but it doesn't look like I can go on doing that sort of work as driving in London becomes increasingly impractical.

Second anecdote. A theatre tour some years ago. A young actress had a large suitcase. She couldn't lift it. We helped her. Then we helped her again. Then we told her if she didn't swap it for two smaller ones she COULD lift, it was staying where it was.

Moral: People are incredibly helpful. But don't push it...

notacooldad · 29/07/2019 18:42

What was the weather like for you. I'm about 50 miles away and the weather was absolutely dreadful all weekend. I thought about the festival goers at Kendal Calling, Steelhouse Arch, Lets rock Liverpool etc and was glad I went to festivals a couple of months ago!

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 18:57

True Exalted! And I do always help others.

Thanks Alley.

Not - wet, flooded wet. It was Kendall Calling.

OP posts:
TickyTacky · 29/07/2019 18:58

Organisers were v v v v u not to let you have a spare inhaler, wheezy = attack, if they'd given you a spare then you wouldn't have needed to lug your stuff on while so poorly!
And just fyi, having an asthma attack (one that didn't require hospitilastion) wouldn't stop me from doing things, it's part of life as an asthmatic.
Hope you're ok now OP x

BogglesGoggles · 29/07/2019 19:02

Honestly, I don’t think you are realise what festival staff deal with. I worked festivals when I was younger, we had people with alcohol poisoning/ODing, sexually assaulted, robbed, miscarriages/preterm labour, heat stroke and, every now and then, people died. This kind of stuff happens on a nightly basis at bigger festivals. If a bad batch of drugs is brought in it can get positively manic the entire time for the welfare tent people. This is the equivalent of walking into A&E with a sprain. No one is going to care.

SkaterGrrrrl · 29/07/2019 19:07

Experienced festival goer here. YABU.

TheHodgeoftheHedge · 29/07/2019 19:15

All I asked was if they had a buggy hire like many many people got on the way in. Or another inhaler as mine ran out.

And they didn’t have either, so what exactly is the issue here?

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 19:18

It’s almost like I haven’t said IABU.

OP posts:
greeneyedlulu · 29/07/2019 19:20

I think you were quite irresponsible for going somewhere like that by yourself having not fully recovered from whatever procedure you had and without a spare inhaler.

BlueJava · 29/07/2019 19:21

YABU for not looking after yourself properly: you went to a festival probably too soon after a medical procedure; you didn't take enough inhalers; your stuff was too heavy for you.... none of that is the festival organiser's fault. Sorry OP!

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 19:21

Ticky thank you, living with asthma you just sort of crack on. Or do nothing!

Shouldn’t have forgotten the spare. Stupid. But did. So thought it was sensible to ask!

If I’d have trotted off down the hill, had an attack, and said “oh I didn’t have an inhaler but I had to get back”, then I guarantee I’d have been asked why the fuck I didn’t go to first aid and see if they could help.

OP posts:
Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 19:22

Read the thread? It was a coil insertion. No side effects could be predicted!

OP posts:
Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 19:24

Blue never said it was their fault. Have said that repeatedly was my fault. But at the point of asking for help due to my own stupid fault, WTBU not to help.

All the drugged, drunk people they helped. Should they say “nope own stupid fault for taking those drugs, please quietly die”.

I’ve said IWBU!

OP posts:
viques · 29/07/2019 19:35

hindsights a wonderful thing

But none of the things the op found hard needed the benefit of hindsight. They needed the benefit of forward planning.

The only thing that the op couldn't have planned for is the level of mud on site.

Very snowflake op. Take responsibility for your own life, it's nice when people are kind and helpful but relying on the kindness of strangers to compensate for your own shortcomings is wussy.

FelicisNox · 29/07/2019 19:41

I think they COULD have been more helpful in theory but that's not the issue.

The issue is that you chose to go to a festival after a minor procedure, didn't take your inhaler and took WAY too much equipment for one person.

This is not about benefit of hindsight as one person has said, it's poor planning and poor decision making on your part.

You're clearly feeling a bit fed up and emotional and rather than bite the bullet and acknowledge this is on you, you are casting around for someone else to blame to make yourself feel better.

Now, personally it makes no odds to me but if you don't take responsibility for this you are likely to repeat this error in judgement in the future.

My best advice. Take responsibility, have a large bar of chocolate/G&T, laugh at yourself and chalk it up to experience.

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 29/07/2019 19:46

I’m actually just going to keep this going now to tally up the number of MNers that RTFT.

Or accept when someone has said TWBU Vs enjoy the fun of a pile on.

Like a forum social experiment Smile

OP posts: