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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Do you think festival should have helped me?

258 replies

MyAppleTree · 28/07/2019 15:49

Not really a big deal, but home and musing. Went to a festival this weekend, on my own. Had an ok time.

For context my stuff was really heavy, 8 man tent huge heavy, only one I could borrow and obviously had to bring it back.

The night before I’ve left my asthma inhaler ran out, and I’ve started bleeding and cramping from a minor procedure I had done last week. I had an asthma attack about a week ago too.

Anyway the car was absolutely miles away, through mud and hills. Sincerely worried I could not physically make it. So I thought I was sensible going to camp welfare and asking if there was any way to hire a buggy to take the stuff to the car. They said no but sent me to first aid to see if I could get an inhaler to manage the asthma doing the drag.

First aid wouldn’t give me a spare inhaler unless I was having an actual attack, not just feeling wheezy. No help available obviously for the cramping as I need a gp to assess that.

So basically no help.

Now I did make it to the car. Very very breathless and in pain, car got stuck in the mud and had to be towed. Stupid gear and I fell down a few hills too!

Hence not a big deal because while breathless I have made it home (2hr drive) and have my inhalers. And yes it’s my own fault for not picking up my spare!!

So just a hypothetical really, were they unreasonable not to help me when I asked? It could have ended differently.

OP posts:
BenWillbondsPants · 30/07/2019 08:44

Agree that you didn't exactly make sensible decisions here.

Crispyturtle · 30/07/2019 08:52

I think it’s absolutely ridiculous that you went to a festival on your own when you were experiencing complications from an op and knew you’d run out of essential medication Confused. Take some personal responsibility before you look for someone else to blame.

VivienneHolt · 30/07/2019 08:58

I think you are probably being a bit unreasonable, because you put yourself in a position of difficulty (week after an operation, no inhaler, unsuitable equipment etc) and while you would obviously have benefited from assistance, you didn't strictly 'need' it in the sense of being unable to cope without it. I expect there are lots of people who struggle at festivals for similar reasons and the festival isn't equipped to pre-emptively help everyone.

That said, if it had been easy for them to assist they should have. But I expect they were trying to ensure they had the resources for emergencies, should they arise.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 30/07/2019 09:05

A couple of weeks ago I posted on here asking if was being unreasonable. I was told I was and accepted that - quite graciously I think. As have you. 2 days later people were still piling on to tell me I was being unreasonable; repeating everything others had already said. No acknowledgment of my acceptance from most of them at all. It was just a bit of fun to call me “whiny” and “childish”.

For what it is worth I don’t think you were unreasonable to seek out some help, or to go to the festival in the circumstances you describe. It’s called living your life. Forgetting your spare inhaler was just that - a mistake. We all make them.

I do think it’s hilarious; you alone in that massive tent though. You sound like an optimist. It’s a nice trait.

onedayiwillmissthis · 30/07/2019 09:05

YABU. Either you are old enough to have sorted your own stuff/plans/decisions...or you should have asked Mummy and Daddy to do it for you.

Original poster
MyAppleTree · 30/07/2019 10:24

I’m struggling to see where I said surgery Confused Even the NHS call it a “procedure” and I said minor.

It’s like a fascinating game of social Chinese whispers!

Procedure = minor surgery
Ran out of inhaler = didn’t take one at all
Hire a cart = ask festival staff to do all my work for me

I was being unreasonable = snowflake, idiot, child

Macbeth yep you need to be fairly hardened to post here! And I am an optimist, fully accept that lands me in hot water, a lot Grin

Having said that, many posters are balanced and lovely and I’ve had good support in the past on serious issues (not hypothetical ones I was musing) so this is just interesting.

Do you think festival should have helped me?
OP posts:
Strugglingtodomybest · 30/07/2019 10:49

I think you've handled the non-thread readers well OP. It's a shame they'll never read your replies as there're off posting irrelevance on other threads.

(Btw, I thought you were totally BU until I read the whole thread!)

CanYouHelpFindThis · 30/07/2019 13:09

To have gone on your own with a 8 man tent, a week after having a procedure and a asthma attack, with not enough medication for yourself, is your responsibility, no-one elses

Monsterinmypocket · 30/07/2019 13:24

God, I used to despair at the unsympathetic comments on here. Now I just laugh. So dramatic.

I think if outwardly you were really in a bad way, then most kind people would help. Maybe you looked like you were coping ok compared to what they normally see. I have seen people face plant while off their head or dehydrated. If someone is looking after an area and something major happens and they are not around, it will be on their head.

Nettie1964 · 30/07/2019 17:47

Why did you go? Sounds like you made lots of really bad choices and then expected total strangers to take care of you. Just sad really😒sorry

notacooldad · 30/07/2019 18:34

Nettie1964 op said she went to Kendal Calling.

Juells · 30/07/2019 18:47

Juells is a coil insertion minor surgery? Should asthmatics not travel?

'a procedure' can be anything, including surgery. You could have said 'I'd had a non-surgical procedure' which would have been clearer.

Of course asthmatics can travel, but they'd be wise to have spare inhalers with them if carrying huge loads.

AquaPris · 30/07/2019 19:56

I mean, it's your fault you brought a tent too big and didn't have an inhaler so no they don't really have to help.

If everyone was helped with their stuff they'd had to hire thousands of people... and I've done the 2 hour heft of stuff.

di2004 · 31/07/2019 08:27

You perhaps shouldn’t have gone so soon after your operation. Is it really necessary to go to a festival when you’re quite clearly not well?

LuckyLou7 · 31/07/2019 09:04

This thread is the gift that keeps giving. OP has admitted, over and over again, that she was in the wrong, she made mistakes, it was her first festival and she wasn't prepared.

But still the pile on continues!

notacooldad · 31/07/2019 09:15

I think the OP was unreasonable........................to go to Kendal Calling. I can't recall a year it hasn't poured down!😂

ineedaknittedhat · 31/07/2019 09:19

I think you need to plan more wisely and take responsibility for yourself in the future. All the problems you describe could have easily been avoided.

ShowOfHands · 31/07/2019 09:25

Oh AIBU don't ever change.

Sorry you had a bit of a rubbish time op. And you had the good grace to acknowledge your errors.

I'm a seasoned festival goer and recently started going to Black Deer. The return to the car is up a long, steep hill. After I had carried all my stuff and piggy backed a child to my car, I spent 2 hours helping other people with their kit and recalcitrant toddlers. I was not the only one helping. Festival goers are usually very helpful. If you go to another, ask a group of friends and chances are, they would muck in. And you can buy cheap fold up festival trolleys from Aldi. I would never be without mine. Holds all the kit needed for a family of 4. A worthwhile investment.

AnastasiaVonBeaverhausen · 31/07/2019 22:42

Ahem.
You know..
For next time.
Who says you can't have both asthma and style??

Do you think festival should have helped me?
Original poster
MyAppleTree · 31/07/2019 22:59

Sexy! I’m all over that!

Do they have it in Burberry?

OP posts:
TrickyKid · 31/07/2019 23:05

I think you could've made it easier on yourself. Not taking an eight man tent would've been a good start. You can buy a pop up 2 man tent for less than £50.
I wouldn't expect help in your circumstances.

TheRLodger · 31/07/2019 23:18

YABU
even if it as a last minute thing. Doesn't take long to pop to nearest outdoor camping place and get a tent/ order one from internet. yes friend loaned you one but it wasn't fit for purpose. You still went despite getting complications from the procedure. Even if it was morning of surely you would have the sense to go i am going to send the weekend in a field with a bunch of strangers is this the wisest thing to do. Asthma pump is your own fault and as an asthmatic you should have a spare at home anyway. So you should have replinshed 6 months a go not thought about it 6 days ago.
Also, if the festival organisers had to deal with scenarios like yours all the time for every Tom, Dick & Harry they wouldn't be able to deal with the far more important what they are actually therefore type situations.

Mummyandpsycho · 01/08/2019 03:17

I have nothing of worth to add here really. But jeez this thread is brutal 😂 op I don't think you were bu really. You made a mistake in not packing an extra inhaler, everyone has forgotten something important at one point in life. Asking to hire a buggy isn't unreasonable as you stated they were available to hire on the way in. I mean is no one reading your replies? I mean how dare you want to pay for the hotel of a buggy, how very dare you not know you would run out of your inhaler and my goodness how very very dare you for saying you had a minor procedure 🙄😂.

Just glad you have taken it well. Hope you get better soon though. You have given me the fear of ever having the coil fitted though 😩

AltheaVestr1t · 01/08/2019 03:34

Moral of the story: for festivals, pack light. Be self sufficient. Take essential medicine. Expect nothing from anyone. Obvious. No?

Brain06626 · 01/08/2019 03:38

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