My stupid Fucking Father

[Itcouldbeyou]

Hi I have NC as this could be outing and please be gentle with me
I’m wondering if any of you lovely people have any advice apologies as this is long
My father 72 I would say a vulnerable person who is naive and gullible and carer to my mother who has Alzheimer’s and Dementia was contacted by phone last year by the National Lottery Centre asking him if he wanted to join a syndicate for the Irish Lottery
He very stupidly agreed and paid £700 for the year
Every two weeks or so he was then contacted by an account manager asking him if he wanted to join more syndicates for varying amounts of money
When he said he couldn’t afford it they would do a pre authorisation or a smaller amount to see what he could afford. Then they would ring back and ask to take that amount
. I believe that this phone call was recorded but the actual hard sell call wasn’t recorded . Over a period of a year he has used his life savings of around £25000 maybe more
Completely all gone from his account

While I accept that he has been the most stupid person ever and I want to kill him 😂 he is my father and murder isn’t legal so I’m stuck with him .
To be honest I am more annoyed at his bank Lloyds who never once queried these payments
My father has banked with Lloyd’s for 50 years and has never not once made any payments like this to anyone .

The only payment they have ever queried and refused to pay was his car insurance that legitimate and they stopped the payment and he had to go into the bank to authorise this payment and this was a few years ago .
So why on earth did they not stop or query any of these payments
From what I have read the banks have sophisticated fraud systems set up to alert them to unusual payments so did they not think that someone spending 2000 plus in one go every month a bit unusual

I’m asking because whenever I buy or do something that’s not within my spending pattern my card is stopped and I get a call or a text asking me if I have authorised this payment .
I couldn’t even use my card when on holiday recently as it was out of my usual spending pattern
On occasions stuff from Amazon has been cancelled because of the fraud alert
When googling them The

Lottery Centre is based in the Isle of Man and other elderly people have had exactly the same thing happen cold call and then regular amounts taken
I can’t call it a scam as he authorised the payments but like the others he was elderly and was pressured by hard sell to do so and is also a fucking idiot

However it’s the bank that I’m really annoyed with
Any advice on if I am able to complain to the bank about their lack prevention of unusual transactions on an account would be much appreciated

Why do you describe your dd as "vulnerable " - does he have dementia? My dad blew 80k in the early stages of his dementia- you dont lose the right to make decisions about your savings whilst you have financial capability. It wasn't until you reach a certain point that we (his financial POAs)could step in. The law allows people to make poor financial decisions.

Who do you think the bank should have flagged this to? You? Do you have financial poa for him? Has he given permission for you to kept informed of his financial affairs? If not then they literally cant share his financial affairs w you.

Naive, gullible and no doubt a pretty depressing life being a Carer to his dementia suffering wife.

I can’t understand why you weren't more involved in their finances given your view of him

Although it probably wouldn't have helped with OP's father, for those with elderly parents or relatives, please advise them to buy a phone with call blocking, and help them set it up.

There are too many scams these days were older people are targeted.

We haven't received any scam calls since buying ours.

Seriously Love that's what you're bringing to the table ?

Itcouldbeyou

Not the same but my Dparents ended up buying windows from one of these companies that do the rounds . They were 'invited' by way of making an appointment and though I cannot prove what happened they were basically there till my Parents bought them.. You can tell my the house it is elderly people .
They couldn't use the 14 day Change of Mind because they were bespoke . Cost was £££.
Googling showed the company had a dreadful reputation (selling and quality) and not covered by GGF .
And they did the "Buy now and get a 20% discount " speil.
I'm still but my Dparents were deemed to be capable . (Though now I would fight it toth and nail, because they aren't)

Damned right complain, fight it and can you get POA on the bank accounts?

'where' not 'were'.

BarbariansMum
No I don’t have power of attorney however my dad is now being very open with his bank accounts with me
What he did was completely out of character he has never ever made any sort of payments like that at all from his account in 50 years of banking with the same bank

I’m surprised that the bank didn’t stop the payment initially and send a text to confirm that it was him making the payment as it was completely out of the ordinary payment
They made him go into the bank once to confirm a payment they didn’t like for his car insurance so no idea why they wouldn’t do this

I have often had to confirm by text that I am authorising xxx payment to xxx company and it’s been for way less than the monthly amounts he did

but it’s not a scam as such as he did authorise the payments

Doesn’t matter a jot, @Itcouldbeyou - he’s elderly and vulnerable and it definitely needs reporting to the Police first, who may also ask you to report it to Action Fraud. Your Dad has been targeted by people who knew exactly what they were doing.

PLEASE report it to the Police. Complain to the bank too but this needs reporting.

LoveMenorca
I see my parents pretty much every other day when I can’t go in my DH will go and check on them
I do loads for them arranged for carers for my mum, speak to the social workers for them , got my mum into a day Center so my dad gets regular breaks
Take them to hospital appointments

However until this point I had no idea that my dad was doing this it was all done over the phone
The house is paid for they have decent pensions
I knew he had savings and roughly the amount. If he was spending the money on obvious things that I could see then I would have questioned it
But I had absolutely no idea and I am devastated

I think your first step should be the Branch Manager. Make an appointment & take your Father with you as they will not discuss his account with you.
Only go for the other options if the B.M. refuses to do anything.

Something similar happened with a friend, & the bank (Halifax?- not sure) made a full refund.

@Lovemenorca wind your neck in. The OP is obviously very upset that this has happened to her father and is expressing her frustration at him, the bank and the lottery.
OP ring the gambling Ombudsman they might be able to give you some direction.

A major change in someone one's life: partner having dementia, becoming sole carer while elderly can be reason to flag sime one up as possibly vulnerable in Banking as disruption to normal.daily life that could cause some one to become vulnerable to how they make financial decisions, be that emotionally vulnerable, physically vulnerable or mentally incapable, whether temporary or permanent events.

Your dad should meet this criteria.

There is no set way to report / approach things but I would get b the complaint emailed to the CEO and point out as you believe they have failed to detect abnormal spending patterns in a long term poss vunerable customer is unacceptable, you have / are reporting to police etc and you will take to fos if bank cannot bring about a suitable outcome.

The balance is your dad s circumstances and the pattern of the transactions in a long term cust ones account and the failure of their fraud dept to spot and check the transactions.

Please stop with this vile name calling towards your dad. He's the victim of confidence tricksters - victim, not stupid, not fuckwit.

Reassure your dad that what has happened is terrible but you'll do what you can to recoup some of the funds. They'll keep calling because they know he's an easy target, arrange for your parents to have caller ID so they only answer to people they know. Even better, get their number changed.

Please keep an eye on him. You clearly have no idea on the effect this has on victims and people have committed suicide as a result. Keep reassuring him it's not his fault.

(I've personally seen the harm these scamsters do to people.)

THE FUCKING STUPID BANK!!

Go through their complaints procedure - doesn't have to be through their form. They will acknowledge receipt within 5 days and give a determination within 4 weeks (max 8 weeks).

Then you can go to the Financial Ombudsman Service if you don't like the bank's response. There is no charge for the Ombudsman and their determination does not stop you going to court if you don't like their determination.

Don't other with social media. Go to the Ombudsman.

Thank you for those of you who have given me excellent advice
I’m not expecting anything but i will defiantly complain and see what happens
Thanks again to everyone

Have your dad sign to o say he authorised you to liaise with them re the complaint, or specify they are not to speak to your dad without you there, therefore to arrange any contract with your dad through you so you can ensure v you are with him. This means he Chan m complete security on any calls them hand it over to you.

Are LLoyds signed up to the voluntary code to prevent scams? Yes this was an authorised push payment but it still sounds like a scam. Have a look at this Which? link below:

www.which.co.uk/consumer-rights/advice/how-to-get-your-money-back-after-a-scam

Will be worth complaining to the bank and then escalating to the FCA. Worth a try.

I am so sorry this is so awful. He is an adult at risk and they took advantage of him. I really hope you will complain and that you will get somewhere.

Ide write in to Kate Morley? Of the telegraph and there's a guy in the Daily Mail money section, who deals with problems like this.

NoBaggyPants
Rest assured I’m not saying anything like this to my dad just in my head and on here
I love him dearly
I’ve ordered him new bank cards
I’ve set up Experian alert so I can see if he is doing anything else
And I’ve set up the bank app so he can’t use his card for online or over the phone purchase he can only use them in person
I’m arranging for his phone number to be changed

I’ve gone through his bank statements to make sure nothing else is suspicious and he’s agreed with me to let me keep an eye on his bank accounts

I’ve shown him lots of info on other people who it’s happened to and reassured him he isn’t the only one and he won’t be the last to be taken advantage off and he knows this

He or my mum won’t go without anything as they have me and my DH to help them as we always have done

They couldn't use the 14 day Change of Mind because they were bespoke . Cost was £££.
Googling showed the company had a dreadful reputation (selling and quality) and not covered by GG

@70isaLimitNotaTarget

My parents were recently scammed by a similar company and I have just successfully made a claim through the Small Claims Court and my parents have been repaid the money and their costs. The company claimed the goods were bespoke, but the goods did not match the legal definition of “bespoke”. These companies are scum

I’m going to do that on Monday I’m going to the bank with my dad with a letter saying that he is authorising me to speak to them
on his behalf and will add that they are not to speak them on his own
Thanks again for all the wonderful advice

@Itcouldbeyou

If your parents don’t have a mortgage, I would also recommend setting up a property alert with the Land Registry

propertyalert.landregistry.gov.uk/

This is so awful and makes my blood boil that vulnerable people are being targeted like this. My parents are very similar to yours. My dad is 78 and my mum is 76 and suffers from Alzheimer’s. My dad who has always been very strong minded and capable is starting to show the cracks which come from looking after someone with dementia. I pop in and see them almost every day but it is bloody hard checking in every aspect of their lives (yes lovemenorca I’m referring to you!). Dad has started to do silly things too, I have just found out he has been renting his iPad for the last 4 years and has paid over £1600 for it, he could have bought 3 for that price! He has started to do many silly little things like that and takes ‘advice’ from complete strangers yet wont listen to any advice his own flesh and blood recommend even though we have his best interests at heart. It is so bloody stressful. Have you tried contacting Alzheimer’s U.K. for some advice? They have been very good to us so far. I hope you get something back for him.

PenelopePeace
Thank you
I have done that
Plus Experian alerts me to any changes in his credit
So any loans credit cards mortgage applications

Afternooninthepark
I’m sorry to hear that about your father
It’s very hard dealing with stuff like this
It’s the little things that you miss like this
( not that it’s little but it’s not obvious in your face changes like a brand new car or expensive items )

The big things like health and medication you spot easily and can deal with it straight away
My father is the same I can tell him he needs to to xxxx till I’m blue in the face then the nurse will say oh why not do xxxx and he’s like ok 😂😂