Rude to Open Gifts during Party

[Etiquetteworry]

AIBU to think it's rude to open gifts during a party? I've been to two 4 year olds birthday parties recently and at each one the birthday child was made to sit down by their parents and open all the gifts in the middle of the party. At one the mum had a big notebook out writing down who gave what. I found it rude, AIBU? Is this normal party protocol?

YANBU - very rude and not the done thing

The notebook was probably for thank you cards so I wouldn't read too much in to that, but yes I do find it a bit rude to open them during the party & not something I would do.

I have never seen this done. Nor would I get my DC to do it - very boring for the small guests who are forced to watch, and I would guess that some of the boxes are opened, toys played with etc before the birthday child gets a chance!

I have never experienced that, I find it odd. All the parties we have ever attended (I have 3 children), gifts have always been taken home to be opened.

Presents go onto a side table to be opened after the guests have gone. The guests just want to play at the party and not have to watch present opening which is pretty boring unless you're the present receiver or present giver.

The notepad will have been so they can write thank you notes - that’s thoughtful, not rude at all.

Some people think it’s rude to ignore the presents at a fair arty, like they’re ungrateful for them.

I don’t find it rude to open them. We don’t open presents at parties but that’s because the party is exciting enough and we prefer to spread out the excitement.

This was what most parties were like when I was a child in the 90s...My parents didn’t do it, but most kids did. The writing down is to make sure that people get thanked for the correct gift. Nothing wrong with that, surely - it’s polite not rude.

Yeah the notebook would have been for thank you cards.

But YANBU about the rest (although I seem to remember it being the norm when I was at school, I think?). Rude and boring.

I think better to open after when its a children's party. They get upset if they think someone else present is liked better or maybe is more expensive or whatever and it's embarrassing for the parents too. Also 4 year olds aren't known for being subtle - they are likely to say they don't like something if they don't like it! Also if they already have it, they loudly say that too. Better to open later and send a thank you message to the gift giver.

Its different at a party with family I think as they are adults and usually grandma wants to see little Jimmy open what she's bought him.

The notebook is probably for thank you cards, so nothing wrong with that. I've never let my DC open their presents at the party, but they have been to a few parties where it's happened so I think it's the norm for some.

I've never seen this done, not least because most parties only go on for a couple of hours, so surely that will eat into the fun quite a bit for something best done at home to avoid the inevitable dramas ensuing.

It depends, I think it is nice to sit down and open presents but then I have never really thought about it before

I would never do this at a big party (I do write down who gave what though so I can say thank you).

Now my dc are a little older and favour sleepovers at home I let them open the presents, as they can be trusted to be polite to their friends, and there's o my a few so it doesn't take long.

It wasn't something we did. We took the wrapped gifts home after the party and the kids opened them there.

I think I would consider it unusual rather than rude. Horses for courses. Times change, and thankfully my days of having to host and suffer children's birthday parties are long behind me now. I don't miss that aspect of parenting.

Most 4 year old parties we have attended (dds included). The gifts were put on a table and taken home to be opened. Party time was for enjoying time with their friends whether that was dancing, jumping, or whatever the party activity involved, not sat around opening gifts.

I did attend one where the child wouldn't wait (or rather the parents didn't tell him to wait - I don't often judge much but these parents are the type not to discipline and 'little Johnny needs to express himself' types. God I sound like a bitch, I'm really not!

This is a very UK thing I rhink. Funnily enough I live abroad where it is considered extremely rude not to open the presents in front of the people who gave them to you and to give them a "thank you" kiss is expected too! So much so in fact that party entertainers often incorporate a game which is a bit like spin the bottle where the birthday child opens the presents in front of her guests who are sitting in a circle around them.

To just dump them in a pile as they arrive and ignore them is really not the done thing and is considered extremely rude!

I don’t think it’s rude to open gifts in front of the giver, why on earth would it be?

Most people make a note for thank you cards as it’s the done thing to send a note after.

Making a note so that thank you cards can be sent I absolutely understand, I just thought it odd to do it in front of everyone. I live in the UK but didn't grow up here so I'm never sure how these things work here.

Rude to open presents at a party? I would have thought the opposite.
I always opened my presents when I was little, so I could thank the givers-if they were there of course.
And if the present was sweets or something, I would pass them round-though I guess I was told to do that.
The alternative would be to "whisk them away", or something like that, leaving the givers to wonder how much I cared for their gifts.

This is a very UK thing I rhink. Funnily enough I live abroad where it is considered extremely rude not to open the presents in front of the people who gave them to you and to give them a "thank you" kiss is expected too!
Same for us, my kids grew up abroad and the first party one went to I was a bit at presents being opened in front of everyone.
After many years I'm used to it and it seems rude not to open, smile thank, kiss/hug grandma etc.

This is the first time I have ever heard opening your presents at your party called "rude".
I thought the rule was that you opened presents as they were given to you, on your guests' arrival and said "thank you" at the same time.
However, having a dedicated open session mid-party is very peculiar, if only because presents are from one individual to another, not necessarily for the "entertainment" of the entire group.

I don't think it's rude -surely it's politer to take a gift, open it and thank the giver, then put it to one side? It was the norm when I was young to open gifts at parties; I think the trend not to has come with larger parties where it's a bit dull for the other children to sit about watching the birthday child open all their presents. We adopted the "put to one side for later" tactic when DC were little and had more guests; as they got older and have fewer guests they open them as they get them (and their friends want them to - they want to see their present opened in front of them!)

A four-year-old being made to open presents at her party? Against her will and better etiquette? . Come off it. And the mum wrote stuff down so she could thank people later.

It was totally normal to open presents at parties when I was growing up in Canada.

I vividly remember how disappointed I was when I attended my first party here in the uk age 6 and the child didn’t open the gift I’d given her.

Giving a gift is a joyful thing especially when you can share that moment with the recipient.

Never seen it happen, I’m from UK. Imagine if your DC says “oh!” to one of the gifts and then puts it aside not interested! No, it’s not a UK thing to open presents in front of party guests.