Rude to Open Gifts during Party

[Etiquetteworry]

AIBU to think it's rude to open gifts during a party? I've been to two 4 year olds birthday parties recently and at each one the birthday child was made to sit down by their parents and open all the gifts in the middle of the party. At one the mum had a big notebook out writing down who gave what. I found it rude, AIBU? Is this normal party protocol?

I grew up in another European country and we always did this. But I agree that it's not very nice for the children to be expected to sit for ages and watch the birthday child open their gifts when they'd rather be playing. The point of parties is for the guests to have fun!

I also grew up in another European country and opening the presents with everyone watching was the done thing. Leaving them on the side would have been considered rude, you were meant to open them and thank the person giving who had given it.

Never opened them when the kids were little, but did from about 8up.

I was always against it but saw it at another party and all the kids loved seeing what presents there were.

It is rude not to open a present and not to show personal interest in what you have been given and not to thank the person who gave it. IMHO

As a kid in Canada this was the norm - rude not to, it would be like not acknowledging the gift. You open it and give the gifter a hug or thanks or whatever.

Moved to the UK and it was the other way around - like gloating or comparing or something.

Cultural habits are weird.

Gosh - everyday's a school day - I had understood the norm to be opposite and that tearing open the presents was half the fun...

Here in Spain the presents are always opened at the party, usually before the cake is cut. It would be SUPER weird and rude not to. The kids all watch the presents being opened and get really excited and the birthday child thanks them. Sometimes they even play with the presents at the party.
When I was growing up in the UK in the 80s I'm fairly sure we opened the presents there and then too.

It's definitely not rude but probably a bit awkward as a four year old doesn't have good social skills. If they don't like a present they'll definitely let you know.

As a present giver, I'd rather they say thanks then take it home.

The writing-down was probably for thank-you letters. I don't personally like the practice of opening gifts in front of everyone - it puts the recipient in the position of having their reactions observed, which is perhaps the purpose of it, but it's easy to appear ungrateful and the whole thing can be quite stressful. Also, especially at a 4-year-old party, it can tempt others to become envious of the gifts or even try to grab them. However, some people like to watch others open their presents. I wouldn't say it was rude; just not my preference.

And it only takes a few minutes and the kids like seeing what the birthday child gets and handing over their own present to be opened.

I grew up in London in the 1970s and 80s and everyone (including me) opened their presents at the party. It was exciting to see the birthday kid discover what you had given them. ISTR there was also quite a bit of jealousy involved 😁

When my DC were young, presents were always opened as they were given, it certainly wasn't considered rude.

I've come to think it's normal party protocol. However I am with you in that I kind of feel that's tacky. Like if one person couldn't afford as expensive or generous a gift as another or whatever. I don't know, i just feel like it invites comparison and criticism. I think most people feel that it's rude to NOT open and acknowledge gifts at the party. I say that because that is the only reason i can come up with as to why its become the norm. My preference is to thank everyone for coming/their present in a general way, followed up by thank you notes to each with specifics. Just my opinion.

Opening the presents at the party is the done thing here in the US, too.

I think it may be because of the trend to have whole-class parties outside of the home. When I was growing up, and for my dcs, too, guests were limited to about 10 and presents were opened and thankyous given when the guest handed them over at arrival. There was no chance of them being lost because we were in our own house. It wouid have been disappointing and rude to put them aside to open later.

I suppose It's different now when it's a question of 30 guests in somewhere like a leisure centre, tho' I must say it makes me feel slightly uncomfortable to see the hosts leave with bin-bags full of presents for one child, like swag. I'm not a fan of whole-class parties.

We never opened the presents, always taken home to open.

Kids were too busy playing, was fair if the others wanted to play with them and the BC didn’t want the gifts ruined or broken.

And if the got something they didn’t like or already had!!

We never open the presents at the party. The birthday child is usually too excited to pay much attention to the gifts anyway , the other children just want to play and I always feel for those parents who can't afford to buy an expensive gift.

See I agree

Some parent give a packet of pencils, I don’t care, we wanted their company. I can imagine they’d stop going if we started opening them furring the party

I don't think it's rude to open presents at the party, It's exciting for the child to do this,and witness their reactions, it's all part and (parcel) of a party. If there is going to be bad reactions from other children,then so be it, and these type of children need to be told what a party for the birthday child means, as in present opening etc.

I’ve never been to a party where they open the gifts during it. At all my dc’s parties we’ve put them on a side table and taken them home to open. I make a list of who gave what too so I can send thank you cards. I also keep some aside, if they’ve been given similar gifts, with a label on of who gave it, so I can regift it! Dc get invited to a lot of parties and it works out expensive without regifting!

I don't think it is rude to open a gift infront of the giver if you are one on one or there are only say 2 or three and it is not a Party situation parties they go on a gift table to go through AFTER the party as how boring for kids to sit and watch 20 odd pressies opened and none for them!

Never heard of that being rude. Thank you for enlightening me. I'll ignore it, but I'm glad to know.

When I was growing up we did this. First thing you did was open presents and thank the giver.

Now my dc's parties you stuffed the presents into a bag and send a formal letter (often clearly typed by the parent when younger) thank you.

Actually I think the former is nicer, and teaches how to thank people nicely face to face. Children at that age are often excited by giving their presents and want to say why they picked it/that it's their favourite and all sorts of things. It's a really good training for social skills.
It's one of the things I think was better than the modern parties both etiquette wise and socially.

I’m also in the UK and have taken my kids to loads of parties. There’s been a fairly even split between gifts being opened and gifts being saved until later. I’ve never found either rude. They’ve been more likely to be opened at smaller, home based parties and less likely at the massive, organised / venue parties. My kids love watching their friends open their gifts. Never been to a party where the children were ‘made’ to watch though!

Me too. I never thought about this before in my life. Mumsnet at its enlightening best.