Rude to Open Gifts during Party

[Etiquetteworry]

AIBU to think it's rude to open gifts during a party? I've been to two 4 year olds birthday parties recently and at each one the birthday child was made to sit down by their parents and open all the gifts in the middle of the party. At one the mum had a big notebook out writing down who gave what. I found it rude, AIBU? Is this normal party protocol?

Yanbu - it's not rude as such but its seen as a bit materialistic around here to open the gift and more about you hosting and making sure the guests have a great time with at the party/activity you are throwing.. Its boring for the kids to watch and avoids any gift comparison which may embarass some kids depending on what people could afford. It's usual to whatsapp a photo of birthday child with gift afterwards saying a personal thanks or thankyou card.
Different when I was younger, you were meant to open it and thank the giver but parties were smaller then and much more low key so it didn't take away time from the activity or entertainment that there often is now.

Totally agree Sara. Ultimate bossy boots behaviour to whisk off presents its fun to open them and nice for kids to see their gift opened.

What is rude imo is when gifts are taken or you are instructed to put them somewhere and then you never get a thank you note after they have been opened. Would rather see them opened at the party.

I’m trying to think when it must have become the done thing not to open presents. About the last ten years maybe. My youngest child is 18 and we always opened presents from people at her parties - primary school age. So did everyone else. But whole class parties weren’t a thing then.

Opening them one by one as they arrive, no way! 🙈🙈

“Wait! Let me see what you've got me first before I decide to let you in!” 😂😂

I don't think it's rude but I've only seen it done at one party and my kids have been to lots over the years. At the one party where presents were opened, it was done by the child as each guest arrived so not with everyone watching in an organised way.

When I was a child, I remember presents being opened at all the parties I went to but less children seemed to have parties back then and I remember lots of them being at home not at 'exciting' venues. i think parents were trying to pass some of the time.

From memory at children’s parties I went to as a child presents were always opened at the party. I think part of the enjoyment of giving a gift is seeing the person you are giving it to open it.

However, I genuinely hate to open gifts in front of people 1) because I do not like everyone looking at me and 2) because although I am very polite and diplomatic my face often gives away what I am really thinking!

Yes, our parties tended to be at home, for at least part of it.

I live in the U.S. and every party that I can remember the child has opened the gifts to say thank you. When mine were young we had a talk before the party to make sure we thanked everyone and even if we didn't like it or had two we smiled and said thank you.

YANBU. I find that weird and never been to a children's party where they've done that mid party.

As others Taichipandas Troels have said it's a UK thing not to open. I had to be told when living in Denmark and taking presents from children and putting them down to open later at my child's 3rd birthday party that the other [Danish) parents thought I was being extremely rude and the children were confused.

This is the way they did it when I was young...

Another thing to add the MN Rude list

Must be boring for the children but apart from that I really can’t see what the issue is

Presents are the last thing kids are interested in at parties. They want to have fun with their friends. Its odd.

But it wasn’t boring for the children. It was exciting for everyone to see what the presents were. But then parties were only for a small number, so it was hardly a drawn-out thing.

It's part of the parties here, everyone gathers around and oohs and aahs. We don't do full class parties though so I suppose that could be different.

Preferable and far more polite to open presents in front of the giver in my opinion. Can't understand why that would or could be considered rude.

I agree. I think it's rude when children are taught to collect in gifts and they are put to one side, never to be mentioned again. It looks mercenary.

I suppose the issue is that it's tricky at the really big parties kids often have these days.

But normally I think that your child should open gifts in front of the giver.

I can’t believe everyone thinks it’s rude to open a present at a party. I thought this was normal. Obviously I wouldn’t expect the kids to have to sit around and watch because that would be boring. And maybe if there were loads of guests it wouldn’t be appropriate because it would take too long. However, I think it’s weird to be handed a gift and not to open it. When I give people gifts I like to watch them open them. That’s the joy of gift giving isn’t it? Otherwise it just seems like the giving of gifts is some sort of formality.

I am Canadian and its considered rude NOT to open the presents at the party.

This is def a British custom to wait until afterwards.

Notebook totally normal or how else will you remember who gave what so you can send thank you cards?

I personally like to see the recipient open my present when I can see it so I think it's good to open them during the party. I can't really see why it's rude?

I would never do this. It's tacky.
Mind you, my kids would hate the performance of it too.

I profoundly disagree that it’s tacky. It’s tacky to put the presents aside - a mixture of unwelcoming, grasping and uninterested.

Well it's a bit impractical if there's dozens, but I think it's preferable if possible. The giver wants to see the recipient's pleasure!

It's not rude, it's nice!

I'm also thinking - what would you all do if you had a big get together with friends and family on Christmas Day? Wait until Boxing Day when everyone's gone?