What 3 things would you not be seen dead wearing?

[recklessruby]

Aibu to ask what 3 things you would never ever wear (not necessarily together).
Mine are a bikini (too much like underwear in public and have wobbly cellulite)
High heels (i want to be able to walk when i m out not flouder around like a drunk ostrich)
And this horrible horrible hair colour i have accidentally dyed my hair (it was light brown fairish and is now freakishly white blonde).
Please distract me from crying about my hair horror until the shops open and i can sort it out!!

Tattoos
Slug eyebrows
Orange tan

Fleece
High heels (pain)
Thong
Leggings and a dress combo
Camper shoes
Chinos
Converse in any colour than all black

A note on cycle shorts, I would absolutely never wear them as just shorts on their own but they are an absolute game changer under dresses. No more chub rub

Wedge shoes are top of my list of definite no-no's, can't bear them.
Close second are cold shoulder tops, I just don't see the point.

Apart from those I'll wear most things, I am adverse to high heels as I'm tall already and walk like a bloke in them.

Anything from high street polyester frump peddlers - White Stuff, Next, Fat Face.
I used to mentally file M&S in there too but they have some surprisingly nice stuff in this season. Natural fabrics and all.

Boots for autumn/winter that have peep toes. Just no.

Shell suit
A-line skirt
Elastic waisted polyester slacks

Oh, I love all the sludgy sack things from Toast. I think I must have been a medieval peasant in a previous life.

Wouldn’t wear-

• anything from Joules or similar jolly, practical stuff. Makes everyone look like Miss Hooley on a school trip.

• heels higher than a couple of inches. There are about three people in the world who can walk elegantly in very high heels, plus why be in pain?

• crocs, unless I started a job in an abattoir and wanted to be able to sluice all the blood and bits of bone off my feet easily. Otherwise, no.

Fur
Anything football related (especially football tops)
Leopard print

Cold shoulder tops
Slides
Fur
Angora
Pyjamas as daywear

Those god awful massive trainers that are currently fashionable.

Tattooed on eyebrows that resemble slugs!

Ponchos!

Those sack type dresses with absolutely zero shape which are incredibly unflattering regardless of what size you are!

Ugg Boots..how to look like you forgot to take your slippers off before you left the house.
Anything Superdry. Can you go anywhere without spotting one of those logos? Label of conformity. I bought a pair of jeans from there once,never wore them. Impulse buy and they never suited me.
Jeggings. I'll stick to proper jeans thank you not halfway between leggings and jeans with no pockets!

Anything neon coloured - bleurgh!
Those daft fur sliders - why go out looking like you forgot to take off your slippers?
High heels

I am quite partial to a lentil weavy outfit now and then and actually own some ‘ugly trainers’ because they are so comfortable

Doreen bras give you an amazing 50s pointy bullet shape. It has it moments...

Socks with sandals (apparently if you call them ‘sliders’ it’s now cool.)
The glasses with transition lenses which basically always look half dark.
Pastel colours

There are things that are acceptable now that I struggle with:

• visible bra straps if wearing a strappy top (in the 80s/90s I would have gone braless or struggled to find a strapless bra
• those “footies” shoe liners. As a teenager I would have laughed at those, seeing them as only fit for old ladies. They actually make sense but I still can’t help thinking they are a bit granny.

Crocs
Sportswear sets
Reebok classics
(It's a throwback from my childhood home, and the trendies)

Boob tube
Bikini
Crocs

White socks of any kind.

Not much I wouldn’t be seen in, I pretty much wear what I like and don’t care what other people think.

I don’t wear make up so I guess I wouldn’t be seen dead in a full face of make up, weird eye brows or fake lashes.....oh, and fake nails.

I would have said a bikini but I'm on holiday in Europe where it is mainly locals at the beach and the are literally ALL wearing bikinis. I'm in a one piece and very hot!! BUT...even though the women don't have washboard stomachs and are all sorts of ages, they are a) tanned, which looks a whole lot better than my pallidity - and b) there is a distinct lack of the obesity we see in the UK. I have seen maybe three women in a week who look over a size 16. Food for thought?

Short shorts...I have good legs but some items have to be given up over 40yrs. Stilettos, heels need to be block heels and shoes with a pointed toe....ouch

Crocs
Bikini
Anything with frills, bows and flounces

Thong
Anything beige
Those really thin soles ballet slipper-like shoes that only partially cover the feet

Trainers of any persuasion.
Vest top.
High heels without hosiery.