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Original poster

To be terrified I'm too old for a baby

251 replies

Zippylove · 26/07/2019 18:54

I'm now 35 and don't have a child, although would absolutely love one. I've got a boyfriend and in the near future we would love to start trying for a baby.

Because of my age I'm a bit nervous about whether we will be able to conceive quickly. Please tell me, if you were over 35 when you had a baby and how long did it take to conceive? Thanks Smile

OP posts:
aweedropofsancerre · 26/07/2019 20:54

no one can say how quickly you will get pregnant. We all have different experiences. I myself fall pregnant very easily however I have had friends that tried for years and had none. All I would suggest is you dont stress about it as its highly likely to make it less likely and enjoy trying!

grumiosmum · 26/07/2019 20:54

Had mine at 35 and 38.

Don't remember how long it took to conceive, so it probably wasn't very long.

user1480880826 · 26/07/2019 20:56

I appreciate your anxiety but there is nothing scientific about asking other people to tell you about having babies over the age of 35. You need to be realistic about the rates of natural conception in “older” women. Yes, we all know someone who had a baby when they were 40 and it’s getting more common but how many of those were not conceived naturally?

If you and your partner are not planning on starting to try to conceive now then perhaps you should look into freezing eggs.

Purplejay · 26/07/2019 20:56

I was 34 when I got pregnant with DS. My only. It took 3.5 years to conceive him. I didn’t use contraceptives for 8 years (between him being 1 and 9) and didn’t have another. We didn’t seek help though.

jennymac31 · 26/07/2019 20:56

I was 36 and it took 5 months to get pregnant.

Nat6999 · 26/07/2019 20:56

I was 6 weeks off being 38 when I had ds, it took me a year to have a successful pregnancy with 2 mc before I got pregnant with ds, I had polycystic ovaries & endometriosis so that is probably why it took so long.

Dartsplayer · 26/07/2019 20:57

First pregnancy age 35 and 1 month. Second pregnancy age 38 and 2 months

BakewellGin1 · 26/07/2019 20:57

I had my second at 36... didnt take long at all... don't worry x

merlotqueen · 26/07/2019 20:58
  1. Immediately once we were being scientific about it. Second at 43 took longer.

35 is not too old, good luck.

Goodmum1234 · 26/07/2019 21:02

Aged 34- stopped the pill, within a month
Aged 38- within a month
Both overweight but we were lucky x

snowone · 26/07/2019 21:02

I recently had 2nd DC at 36. We weren't trying and were caught out with a one night wonder! Blush I have PCOS too so we were very (un) lucky but wouldn't have it any other way now! Grin

Inthesummertime · 26/07/2019 21:03

You could ask 1000s of women or google stats on pregnancy after 35, the problem is the stats for women over 35 will always be skewed as there'll be people who couldn't conceive at 25 but they just didn't know as they didn't try until 35 so it throws the stats out. You won't know what will be the case for you until you try, but obviously the sooner you get cracking the greater the chances. Fertility declines with age, but it doesn't drop off a cliff at 35.

PixieLumos · 26/07/2019 21:04

I’m in my 20s but I’ve met plenty of first time mums through baby groups in their mid and late thirties, and they also talk about wanting another - so I’m sure you’re situation isn’t unusual at all. Obviously age is a factor to take in to account when ttc but then some people in their thirties conceive straight away and others in their twenties take years - so age isn’t everything. A more important factor is probably health e.g not smoking, being a healthy weight etc. And unfortunately just a bit of luck as well.

BasilTheGreat · 26/07/2019 21:04

I have my last baby when I was 41

BizzzzyBee · 26/07/2019 21:07

It depends how seriously you take the “trying”. We just stopped using protection and nothing happened for nine months. So we took it seriously and literally did it every single day followed by lying down with my bum elevated on a pillow. That worked on the first month (at age 37).

Strongecoffeeismydrug · 26/07/2019 21:07

Age 21 took me two weeks
Age 30 took me 7 years
Age 40 took me by surprise
I have severe pcos and was told after the first I'd probably never have more children naturally.
Child number 3 obviously had other plans 🤣

JemimaPuddlePeacock · 26/07/2019 21:08

All of the stats in the world can’t tell you whether you’ll get pregnant easily or at all or whether you’ll end up with a healthy baby.

Get yourself into a good place physically, make sure you’re at a healthy weight and taking folic acid for three months prior to TTC, educate yourself on fertility and when’s best to have sex to catch ovulation (I used OPKs personally and an app to track) and go for it! Sooner rather than later as your ability to get pregnant and stay pregnant does start to diminish from 35 onwards, though it’s not a cliff like some out of date research suggests it to be.

Timmytoo · 26/07/2019 21:11

I'm 39 and I fell pregnant the first time contraception failed. But a very happy "accident."

Seasiderabbit · 26/07/2019 21:14

I was 36 (partner 38) and it took us 3 months.

Second time I was 39 (partner 41) and it took 5 months.

Both times we used ovulation sticks.

BlackSwan · 26/07/2019 21:14

Fell pregnant trying on the first go at 34 & had the baby at 35. Go to boots and get a kit that tests your fertility.

Winterflower84 · 26/07/2019 21:16

I am 35 and pregnant. It happened within a month. Don't stress yourself!

Merryoldgoat · 26/07/2019 21:16

I was 34 when I had my first, and one of the younger in my NCT group.

I had my second at 39.

Both times very quick in spite of weight issues and PCOS.

londonrach · 26/07/2019 21:20

I dont know a single mum who hasnt had their first before 35 in my group. I was 41 and not the oldest. Group of 15 mums. 35 is a perfect age to get pregnant

motherofcats81 · 26/07/2019 21:22
  1. One night. Totally shocked me.
cadburyegg · 26/07/2019 21:22

My mum was 42 when she had me (only child). They casually ttc for a year apparently.

However, this is mumsnet, and whilst many users of this site aren’t parents, you are still likely to get a slight bias towards women who have been successful conceiving, at whatever age.