Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Petty things you still can't forgive people for

503 replies

Milkbath · 26/07/2019 13:22

I have two

First one is my SIL (husband's sister)
She means well, but we're very different people, and she can be brash and overbearing. We're constantly working on maintaining boundaries for her, as otherwise she'd stamp all over them.

When I had my baby, she arrived unannounced a few days after we came home. This coincided with the community midwife visiting, and instead of making her excuses and leaving, SIL sat there and listened as the midwife asked me all the usual questions, some of which were extremely personal. Meanwhile SIL's toddler DC was trashing the house. In hindsight I wish I'd said something, but I was so weak and exhausted. The midwife should have as well, she kept glancing over at sil with that sort of expectant "time to fuck off now" look but sil has the hide of a rhino. Midwife was younger than I was at the time and I think she was a bit intimidated too. Even sometimes now I think back to it and it infuriates me!

OP posts:
Evilmorty · 27/07/2019 13:38

Ah the Christmas card thing!

A friend put up a status saying she was making cards this year. Whoever wants one pm me, you might not think this status is aimed at you but yes, I mean you! I mean everyone!

Ok so I pm-ed, very nicely, sent her a card also, I even made the envelope.

Did I get one of those cards she made such a massive fuss about? Nope. Blocked her for that, I felt so hurt. She never even said thankyou for her one.

SkaTastic · 27/07/2019 13:44

Went with husband to clear his parents house when his Mum passed away. They lived 2 hours from our house. Awful weekend, spent the whole time crying. My Mum had our toddler son for us so we could have a meal while we were there and say goodbye to friends. Mum rang me on the Sunday to ask how long I would be as she needed to do the ironing. Like I was being selfish rather than weeping over my MILs clothes.

sadeyedladyofthelowlandsea · 27/07/2019 13:52

Marvellous and Henny The injustice of this still burns. And now I am outraged on the behalf of primary colours also.

enidblyton33 · 27/07/2019 13:52

FIL listing his grandchildren in the order he liked them!!!

dottiedodah · 27/07/2019 13:52

Twistinmymelon. Maybe attacking the teacher wasnt the best course of action. But I think she were sorely provoked ,and that teacher sounds horrendous!.Glad to hear home schooling all going well for her now .

dottiedodah · 27/07/2019 14:06

Gee due some of these responses rather glad Im an OC TBH!

WeBuiltThisBuffetOnSausageRoll · 27/07/2019 14:58

Ooh, pub quizzes where the quizmaster insists they're right and refuses to check any answers that are queried.

We went to a quiz where the question was "What specifically is the name of the island group which includes Rum, Muck and Eigg?" We answered "Small Isles" and the answer was subsequently given as 'The Hebrides'. When we queried it with the QM, he responded with a bit of a patronising sneer "Well, yes, of course they are quite small isles, but they're part of the Hebrides, so that's obviously the answer." No amount of explaining to him that they are specifically known as and officially referred to as the Small Isles would make him even agree to Google it. He'd even said 'specifically', by which we would have assumed that 'Hebrides' would have been too vague. I assume he was meaning more specific than 'Scottish'! It's the equivalent of asking where you would find Stevenage, Hatfield and Tring and accepting 'England' but NOT 'Hertfordshire'.

Another one, even longer ago, had a music round, asking for the title. It was Smokey Robinson and the lyrics played "So take a good look at my face/You'll see my smile looks out of place/Look a little bit closer, it's easy to trace...." We put 'Tracks of My Tears' and were informed that it was actually 'Tears of a Clown'. The QM even accepted that it was wrong, but that's what he was going with as 'that's what the answers say' (of his bought-in quiz). We lost the point, but people who'd recognised it was SM and just guessed at his best-known song DID get the point.

On another occasion, when I was at primary school (I forget what age), we had weekly spelling tests of 20 words with our teacher one year. I prided myself on my spelling ability and I only ever got one word wrong the entire year, which prevented me from keeping a perfect clean sheet. I'd been away on a family trades-based holiday for the week (with full permission - in the days when this was still allowed) and hadn't been in class when the words were given out to learn. My first day back was the morning of the test. The word was 'model', but in her accent (repeated twice), it distinctively sounded exactly like 'muddle'. Of course, I couldn't ask her to spell it(!) to clarify and it didn't occur to me at that age to ask for a definition. No amount of arguing that I had had no way of knowing what the words were and, had I known it was 'model', I would have 100% known how to spell that. She just insisted "But THAT was the word that was given out to learn". I was peeved (and still am, more than 3 decades later), but I never held a grudge at all - she was a really lovely, amazing teacher.

IamPickleRick · 27/07/2019 15:17

I lost a pub quiz once because I didn’t put the brackets around (Please) Mr Postman.

I don’t think it has brackets anyway 😂

2weeksholiday · 27/07/2019 15:21

Another pub quiz one! I lost a point because I said that the lower jaw/ jawbone is called the mandible. Quiz master said no it was lower mandible. There's no upper mandible and it's not called that anyway. This was years ago and still annoys me!

InglouriousBasterd · 27/07/2019 15:38

My 7th birthday, my gift was a surprise announcement - i was getting a kitten from a new litter! So excited to have a kitten, I had wanted one for years.

2 weeks later mum and DB pick me up from brownies and I still remember my bro saying ‘kitten times two!’ They were getting him one as well. I was furious, that was my bloody present!! Of course I adored both kittens Grin but the injustice.

Also my mum telling everyone that my DB is the clever one in the family and ‘inglorious has to work at it, don’t you darling’ - I have better GCSEs, A levels, degree class and further qualifications Hmm

Julietee · 27/07/2019 15:45

Booked to work a massage stand at a craft fair. Dragged myself down to Brighton for two days and made about £35 - the owner had ridiculously over staffed it.

My friend and I had made up a special dance as part of a segment we were front of stage for for the class play. Only to be moved the the back and repartnered because the cow of a teacher decided I wasn’t pretty enough to be at the front.

Got detention for being back of the lunch queue one day. I was habitually early, not a naughty kid, and it’s a line - someone has to be last!

couchparsnip · 27/07/2019 15:54

My team and I won a charity pub quiz recently and after the winners announcement they went on to do a charity auction and sold off all the prizes that had been donated. We fucking won and got no prize!! We would have said something if it wasn't for charity. Still bitter.

SilverySurfer · 27/07/2019 15:59

Background: sister and I never got on, even as children, and now we are in our 70s contact has been reduced to birthday and christmas cards and a visit once a year. Having said that, she is my sister and if she was in need I would be there for her. She mostly lives in France with her DP and makes regular trips back to the UK.

A family friend recently died, he had dementia and was in his 90s and although it was a blessed relief, I was still very sad as I have known him and his wife all my life. The funeral was earlier this week in Kent. I live in Buckinghamshire, am disabled, use a walking frame and can't drive. I really wanted to go to the funeral and investigated getting a taxi - it would have cost £250 which I just don't have.

I learned today that my sister went to the funeral. She lives ten miles from me when in the UK and I find it unfathomable as to why she could not have asked me if I wanted to go with her.

I'm sad and gutted and disappointed and fucking furious all at the same time and am tempted to change my will and leave everything to charity instead of her.

AIBU?

Boysey45 · 27/07/2019 16:07

@Silverysurfer, that was a very meanspirited thing of your sister to do. I wouldn't leave her a bean, but make sure that you leave the money to decent charities, where the actual money is spent on the cause.So many charities are shockingly bad.

Cucuclown99999 · 27/07/2019 16:09

When I was 15. Went to my school disco. I had told my mum I would be outside by 11. I forgot. She came in with my dad grabbed me and screamed at me in front of everyone at the disco. I was mortified and cried right there in middle of the whole school.
30 years later I still find it horrible to think about. Mum apologised years later. Sad

ReggaetonLente · 27/07/2019 16:12

MIL and SIL took photos and videos of our wedding - including the vows- and put them all online that day, including loads that were less than flattering of me. In loads of our official photographs you can see MIL's tatty cartoon phone case bobbing around in the background. I asked them not to and was told 'but we want to'.

MIL telling me when my dad died after a short illness that it was good he died quickly as otherwise me and my mum would have had to look after him more.

MIL asking me to make her a bacon sandwich when she came to meet newborn DD. I'm vegan... and also I'd just had a baby! I was stitched up and still bleeding!

She was actually horrible that entire visit, criticising everything including telling me that I was going to break DD's arm the way I held her, and texting DH afterwards to say she couldn't sleep for thinking how badly we looked after DD.

She called up a week later and asked to borrow £5k. Brass neck.

DD is almost 1 and she still hasn't asked anything about the birth. I popped out her new toy and that's all she needed to know.

Writing this out I'm remembering more and more incidents, it's not good for my blood pressure! Lots of small petty things but they build up to give a picture of someone's character and I am very very LC with her now.

BollocksIsTheWord · 27/07/2019 16:15

I still seethe now but when I was 7 and at a Catholic school, a lad in my class told the teacher that during mass I had taken the bread during communion, taken it back to my pew and shared it with my mates!

I have no idea to this day why he said it, and even though my friends backed me up I got absolutely bollocked! I hope he got his comeuppance one day, the lying little shit!

wellhonestly · 27/07/2019 16:37

Oooh!

  1. I lent a fellow-student 50p in 1983, and when I asked for it back she denied all knowledge. Cow.
  1. In a flat-share, we all had our own food. I had left half a hot-cross-bun in the bread-bin, was walking home from work and really looking forward to eating it ... except when I got home it was gone. My flatmate who had eaten it said she "didn't think anyone wanted it". Why would you think that???
  1. Now this is a bit circular, but bear with me. Many years ago I was out with my mother and toddler DS1, we passed an ice cream shop and toddler DS1 wanted an ice cream. I was worried that it would take away his appetite for lunch but didn't want to have to cope with a tantrum with my mother in tow on our lovely day out (she lives some distance away), so I foolishly bought one cone, broke the bottom off it, and scooped some of the ice cream on to it, to make a cute "tiny" cone. Cue meltdown from toddler, who of course wanted the "big" ice cream which I duly gave him. Got no kind of support at all from mother. Anyway she regularly brings up this circumstance and says she has never forgiven me for it. I can only point out to her that DS1 has forgiven me. And quite oddly I now bear a definite grudge against my mother for not forgiving me.
SilverySurfer · 27/07/2019 17:08

Thanks Boysey45 you're quite right, too many charities spend people's hard earned money which they have donated on big salaries and OTT advertising.

bizmum1 · 27/07/2019 17:12

When I was 14, my parents took me and a friend out for a meal for my birthday. She never brought me a present or a card. It still bugs me and I'm now 48 lol

Littlefrog99 · 27/07/2019 17:23

I have a few.

Friends not sending us a thank you card when we put £100 in a card for a wedding gift. MIL gave £25 and gushed about the card they'd sent her.

DP ate my whole birthday cake in a single day after I said "help yourself". He took it very literally.

My former boss closed the place I worked due to awful snow. I didn't drive then and buses were taken off so I walked 2 miles in knee deep snow to get there. I was freezing and exhausted. I got there to find he'd text everyone except me to tell them we'd closed and made me stay for the rest of the day seeing as I was already there. The weather got worse and I had to stay overnight.

I'm not bitter, honest!

Minai · 27/07/2019 17:26

One of the women in my nct group admitted she felt sorry for my newborn baby because he was not breastfed. I wasn’t able to feed him due to nearly dying giving birth to him. She knew I was upset at not being able to breastfeed and I found it so insensitive. Of all the children to feel sorry for in the world my son didn’t need her pity and I still can’t forgive her for that comment.

namechangeninjaevervigilant · 27/07/2019 17:38

I’ve recently done something I think my DIL will never forgive me for.

We currently have a very full house as all adult DC and the above DIL are currently living at home pending new jobs/moving overseas/house purchase exchanging. With that many adults in the house it can get messy. Recently I found a box of posh cup cakes in the utility room that I thought had been left to go stale after a weekend party. I tutted at the waste and threw them into the food waste bin. Later that day DIL returned from the end of her first year as a teacher and was looking for the box of posh cup cakes DS had given her that morning to celebrate! I had to confess I hadn’t even eaten them and enjoyed them, I had just chucked them away. To make it worse we could still see them in the food waste under a layer of apple cores, coffee grounds and onion skin. I bet she can’t wait to get their own place.

TheScottishPlay · 27/07/2019 17:39

Oh, @ladymariner me too re Lenny Henry and his mock 'comedic' stammering. I phoned the donation line to give them a piece of my mind at the time. I think Richard Curtis made a very ungracious apology later. I now cannot bear the sight of LH though and switch off anytime he is given undeserved airtime. If he saw how crushed my DS was when he saw it. Makes me fume to this day.

NoddyHoldersSideburns · 27/07/2019 17:44

My brother for sticking a dart in my beloved bright orange space hopper and puncturing it cos I wouldn't give him some of my sweets.
I loved my space hopper, I went everywhere on it 😭

To be fair, I got my revenge by pulling his action man's head off and dropping it down the drain.