To take DS3 with me to work? AIBU?

[ShortbreadPGTips]

I’m a single mum to three children, ex moved out in March. He lives nearby and the dcs stay there every weekend. When the kids start school again in September, I’ve been thinking of starting a cleaning business. I’ve been a SAHM since my eldest was born 6 years ago.

I have two older children who are in full time school, and DS3 is still in nursery. He only goes to nursery 1-4pm every day. I tried to start the business a few months ago and put an ad up, but people were requesting a cleaner Tuesday 10-12pm for example, and I couldn’t do it because of my son. But now I’m considering starting the business again, and just take DS with me. I could do cleaning when DS is in nursery, but I also need to be back to pick up DS6 and DD5 from school at 3.30pm, so it will be very hard. If I took DS3 with me to work, I could get more done and work from 9am til 3pm. I thought of bringing some colouring books and crayons with me and just let DS get on with it while I clean. AIBU to do this?

justmakeitbetter I’m allowed to be selfish. It’s my home and it does matter if any of my ornaments or property got damaged. They are more.

I’m a working mother. I also organise childcare so I can, you know, work.

I have a cleaner and wouldn't be happy for her to bring a child. I don't mind what time she comes as long as I know when it will be. I do want it to be the same day each week though, so I can have the place tidy.

So what if something breaks or you get 1 hour 50 mins as opposed to 2 hours? Does it really matter sooooo much? People are so selfish

This has to be a wind up. Nobody can be that dim.

It's not a wind up! I just don't get why people are so precious. 10 mins makes hardly any difference and I don't have previous things strewn about everywhere. It just seems really weird to me that people are so focussed on things like that and not trying to help others out.

And before you say it I know nobody has to help out but it's surely more important to do that than to worry about something like a broken toy or whatever? I'm not talking about crystal glasses here!

It would be a nope from me. I wouldn't hire you and if I found out you were bringing your child I'd sack you.

I'm not running a charity, and you had better believe I'm 'precious' about who is in my house when I'm not there and I'm paying them to provide a service.

My mum did this when my brother was little (was 40+ years ago) and I have a friend whose cleaner used to bring her baby along. My cleaner once brought her 2 girls when they were on school holidays. I think so long as ppl know in advance it's fine

justmakeitbetter,
If my kids came home to a broken toy which they had left in the safety of their home then I think they'd be quite within their rights to be angry. My den and playroom are completely covered in Lego sets. A 3 year old would have a wonderful time breaking those up and my 7 year old, who spends hours of his life building them, would be heartbroken. He is more important to me than allowing someone to "run a business" in a completely unrealistic way. I certainly wouldn't tell me children that we need to allow a random child access to their belongings because his mum can't organise childcare for her job, even though the rest of us have too.

My kids always had their toys organised, set up and really loved them. We would have been really annoyed to think the cleaner and their child had treated their playroom like some kind of free unsupervised crèche space. Not on at all.

The more I think about this the more cheeky and entitled it is!

Remember a cleaner my parents had brought along their toddler once. It was fine as it was a one off due to childcare issues. Otherwise no, too much of a distraction

No if you brought your child with you to my house I wouldn’t have you back, I would be paying you to clean and I’d wonder how much cleaning your actually doing while looking after a toddler, also not every room in my house is child’s proof (although I have a young DD) and would worry if your child got hurt or broke something.

Well clearly it wouldn't work for you @TheInvestigator but I'm pretty sure most households don't have rooms dedicated to intricate model sets. For most people if the toys are precious (fair enough, kids aren't adults) then they can be put away safely. I just find it all a bit much. I think it's mostly because people want to feel like they're totally in control of their cleaner's time and I just can't get worked up about things like that. I assume a cleaner goes to the bathroom, pauses from time to time a i way. Also it sounds like the kid is perfectly capable of not destroying things in any case.

Why should people rearrange their kids playroom/bedrooms for an unaccompanied toddle? That’s nuts to think that’s a more sensible suggestion than for the mother to get childcare.

And they are in control of the cleaners time. They are paid to clean.

No looking out the window! No going to the bathroom! No taking a breather on the stairs! No pauses of any kind! You're there to clean! That's what I mean by totally. Must be exhausting to think like that. Checking on a child from time to time takes no more time than any of those things.

I've actually just sacked a cleaner for demanding that I keep my dogs out of the house when she's there as they scare her children. I did point out that her children (also toddlers) should not be in my house whilst my dogs live there. My house is full child unfriendly things (not my dogs) and lots of incredibly dangerous drugs that I need to care for my sick mother in law.

Totally fatuous there, minding a 3-year-old in NO way compares to looking out the window or going to the toilet. But hey, since you're such a virtuous person and so generous, why not offer to hire the OP? Or advertise locally to hire a cleaner who has a toddler in tow because you want to 'help out'?

And yy, I have an un child friendly house and wouldn't be interested in childproofing it to hire a cleaner when I can get ones who don't have this bother.

How many 3 year olds do you know who only need checking on occasionally? It's a totally different scenario to older, school age children to can sit on their tablets for a couple of hours.

Anyway, it's perfectly clear that Justmakeit doesn't have a cleaner and is speaking about a situation which she has no experience of. I'm happy for my cleaner to bring her 9 year old on school holidays. I would definitely not be happy with a pre-schooler.

I'm in the YABU camp. Quite apart from all the other issues PPs have pointed out (liability being a really big one), it would surely be a bit crap for the child, beign dragged from house to house and made to sit colouring for six hours a day. They'd almost certainly be happier in nursery with appropriate care and activities.

So what if something breaks

In my house I have an antique Bohemia crystal paperweight that my mother brought with her when she defected to the west from the then Czechoslovakia in 1974. It was a present from her mother, who inherited it from her grandmother. After my parents defected they never saw their families again and the few possessions they brought with them like that was incredibly precious and, now, irreplaceable.

If some child broke that ornament it would break my heart.

@Leighhalfpennysthigh Of course you would that's totally understandable! But you wouldn't leave something like that where it could be broken I bet.

I'm bowing out now as it's clear I'm in the minority. I can't afford a cleaner but if I can and they need to bring their child I'll say of course.

leigh can leave her ornaments where ever she wants in her own home. It’s her house!

But you wouldn't leave something like that where it could be broken I bet.

Why would you hide an item like that away if your home is not hosting young children regularly? Of course you'd want to display it.

I can't afford a cleaner but if I can and they need to bring their child I'll say of course.

So your entire argument is fatuous. This is my surprised face.