To take DS3 with me to work? AIBU?

[ShortbreadPGTips]

I’m a single mum to three children, ex moved out in March. He lives nearby and the dcs stay there every weekend. When the kids start school again in September, I’ve been thinking of starting a cleaning business. I’ve been a SAHM since my eldest was born 6 years ago.

I have two older children who are in full time school, and DS3 is still in nursery. He only goes to nursery 1-4pm every day. I tried to start the business a few months ago and put an ad up, but people were requesting a cleaner Tuesday 10-12pm for example, and I couldn’t do it because of my son. But now I’m considering starting the business again, and just take DS with me. I could do cleaning when DS is in nursery, but I also need to be back to pick up DS6 and DD5 from school at 3.30pm, so it will be very hard. If I took DS3 with me to work, I could get more done and work from 9am til 3pm. I thought of bringing some colouring books and crayons with me and just let DS get on with it while I clean. AIBU to do this?

Agree that you shouldn't have a problem with getting the work booked when you're free - if people are out for the visit, they really don't care when it happens.

Re. Weekend cleaning - most of my friends who don't have a cleaner don't have one because they don't want to give their key to someone and can't get weekend coverage. Being willing to work at the weekend when they are in too I think would be a good selling point for some!

When I worked as a cleaner for a holiday park, one lady would bring 2 toddlers with her and she was a lot slower than the other cleaners. Sorry to be negative :(.

Why don't you try accepting some bookings when you've got ds, and tell the clients you're bringing your child and see if they're happy with that.

It’s completely inappropriate

I agree with everyone else, I would not want a 3 year old in my home which is not child friendly or safe. I think you're being wildly optimistic to think anyone would. It's the same as companies not allowing staff to work from home if their children are there. They expect 100% concentration on work, not taking time out caring for a DC. It's also inappropriate to think your DS can play in the playroom with your client's childs' toys.

Although you have said your ds will sit quietly and entertain himself, will he be willing to do this every day, for the required number of hours, every week for the next 12 months until he starts school? I think you are asking too much from him. I don’t think that it’s fair to expect that from him. Children generally want interaction and to be entertained for some of the time and I don’t think leaving him with a colouring book and some crayons will work long term.

As a potential client, I wouldn’t want someone’s child unsupervised in my home, with their parent working in another part of the house and with the best will in the world, to move the child from room to room as you go along isn’t going to work either.
I think you are going to have to increase your childcare hours, or change them to give you a couple of longer days to make the cleaning business work. Or could you look in to a childminder? They might offer more flexible sessions than the nursery. (I’m a childminder and ‘collect’ and ‘drop off’ children from the school run, meaning the parents maximise their hours as there is only one drop of to do for the older children and the younger ones-obviously this would only be an advantage if your nursery was on a different site to the school).

Wow surprised by the responses on here. OP is a lone mum and as a woman I’d want to help out wherever I can. It’s just a toddler, not like it’s going to burn the house down! I’d go for it OP, bound to be some kind people where you live!

3yr olds are too “busy” to be there when you’re in someone’s else’s home doing a job. They need too much of an eye on them. Also sitting him there with some crayons?!!

As a one off it might be ok if you’re desperate, but no way would I employ someone to come into my home and bring their child every time.

I wouldn't mind in the slightest to be honest. I have told both my cleaner and the lady who does my nails to bring their children whenever they need. In fact often my children like the company. I have a friend exactly the same.
Reading on here some people have an issue with it, but providing you do a good job I wouldn't say you would be short of work. (my cleaner is amazing and very hard working she now even has a waiting list and can pick and chose her clients).

8t’s just a toddler, not like it’s going to burn the house down!*

Touch things. break things. want things, distract mum from her job...

My mum's cleaner brought her daughter to play with me three mornings a week in the school holidays when she cleaned.

We didn't get on...

None of these things are burning the house down are they? If you live in a posh mansion you might be worried about the child scribbling on your Monet but most of us can deal with a toddler in our house for 2 hours, no? I just think people are very self-centred. OP is trying to make a good life for herself and some ornament isn't more important than that.

My cleaner sometimes brings her granddaughter with her but she’s 8 so can sit and read or watch the tv while her nan works uninterrupted. I’d be skeptical about how many 3 year olds would genuinely sit and not need looking after while you were working.

most of us can deal with a toddler in our house for 2 hours, no? I just think people are very self-centred. OP is trying to make a good life for herself and some ornament isn't more important than that

This isn't a friend. Not a relative. It is a person who is supposedly providing a professional service. You wouldn't expect your hairdresser to be entertaining her child while she dyed your hair. Or to see your postman pushing a pram while delivering letters.

It is quite frankly ridiculous to suggest that the OP's clients suck it up, smile serenely while the OP does fuck all work and entertains her child, or expects the clients to entertain them too. And then not be bothered about breaking stuff.

Meanwhile, back in the real world where people act professionally and expect the same from their cleaners...

I wouldn't be happy with this either - I have pets and wouldn't want to be held responsible if something happened with the kid in my home (I've not got feral child
Killing dogs or anything just cats which don't particularly like strangers 🤣)

Nobody's talking about fuck all work though. If my cleaner had to take a few every so often to check on a child, so what, as long as the job is done? If a hairdresser can look after her child and keep them safe around the chemicals etc then I don't mind if she multitasks. Just because most workplaces are so unfriendly and rigid doesn't mean I have to be when making choices about the services I pay for. I support women with kids, especially single mums.

most of us can deal with a toddler in our house for 2 hours, no?

No and nor should we have to. The OP is not a friend dropping round for a visit, she is being paid to do a job.

I just think people are very self-centred. OP is trying to make a good life for herself and some ornament isn't more important than that.

Yes I am self centered when it comes to having a 3 year old I don't know in my home who, while his DM is cleaning, could be scribbling on my walls with crayons or removing and breaking things on display as toddlers are prone to do. If the OP spends time to prevent him doing these things then she is not doing her job.

I hope the OP does make a good life for herself but doubt that will happen if she takes her son with here.

You obviously have no concept of what being a professional means.

@justmakeitbetter

I have worked very very hard to have my nice things and build my good life. When friends come over with kids, that's totally fine because we pay attention to them and play and it's a social visit. But when I'm paying for 2 hours if cleaning, I expect to get 2 hours of actual cleaning. Not a half assed 2 hours where the cleaner has been distracted by her child. I work hard for my money and I'm not going to waste it on someone who isn't going to commit to the job.

In business life, I started a grant for artists so I fund 3 artists each year. I think I've done my bit to help people start their businesses and make a good life for themselves. I don't need to have some random child unsupervised in my house whilst I pay for half assed work.

I'd personally let it happen, if the child breaks something or the work is sub standard I'd tell her she can't bring him and that she has to pay for damages. Being a single working mother is incredibly hard and it's attitudes like these that make it harder. A chance, if it doesn't work out just say.
Op not sure really, most people are saying no. I understand how entirely frustrating trying to work as a single mum is. The answer is change in attitudes and education about the reality of being a single working mother. That doesn't help and it makes you want to pull your hair out.

Also this was fairly common place years ago. My nan took her children to work. As did many of her friends. It's deffiently an attitude thing.

@Namechange169376 Nice to see I'm not the only one! Can't believe some of the attitudes on this thread. So what if something breaks or you get 1 hour 50 mins as opposed to 2 hours? Does it really matter sooooo much? People are so selfish.

Cleaners - good ones - are like gold dust as a pp said. Get a couple of clients in the afternoons, do a great job, get them to big you up on social media and amongst their friends, and then you’ll find prospective clients who are only too happy to have you clean during the afternoon or on Saturdays. Talk to lettings agents and student accommodation officers about end-of-tenancy one-off cleans too, you can charge more for these and Saturday mornings will often suit. Also, Airbnb owners and holiday home owners often want properties cleaned on Saturdays, ready for the changeover. Ask around on Facebook and Nextdoor.

Good luck.

Absolutely not. It isn’t safe for him or the household. If you need to work more hours without extending childcare could you take in ironing for some of your cleaning clients and do it at home?

my first cleaner often brought one of her kids during cleaning time. Sometimes I would find my kids toys all over their bedroom, where the cleaner hadn’t noticed or remembered her toddler was playing with them. So I had to clear up after the cleaner!

The final straw was when I walked in my front door to be greeted by a young man as tall as me which scared the living daylights out of me. I thought he was burgling me. Turns out the cleaner also had a 12 year old son (he looked so much older).

The next cleaner dropped a crystal glass decanter and couldn’t afford to replace it.

I finally have a wonderful cleaner now, with none of these issues

@justmakeitbetter
@Namechange169376

I'm a single working mother. A lot of us on here are. I built a business from nothing. But I didn't take my children into work. Their dad was not in the picture at all; no contact. I was alone alone, but I still didn't take my kids into my work.

It's not selfish. I work incredibly hard. I sacrifice time with my kids to work hard and earn money. I'm not paying for something and then only getting a sub-standard version of it or only a portion of the time. If she brings her kid and only spend half the time working, then I would only pay for half the time. If her kid messed anything up or broke anything then she would need to pay to replace it. Bringing a child into strangers homes really isn't on

@TheInvestigator Well that's great and works for you but I just think it's mean. Guess we'll have to agree to disagree. It's a shame so many people think the same way.