..to wear the same outfit twice?

[DorisDances]

DC are getting married 2 years apart - I have a lovely hat, dress and shoes combo. Can i wear to both as they are do you think or is it courtesy to change some aspect or replace all?

Kurri if I was your mum I'd tell you to bugger off and let me wear what I want to!

Perhaps say to them that "I really love the dress I got for your siblings wedding and would love the chance to wear it again but I don't want you to think that it is because I'm not making an effort. I just don't think I'll find anything I like as much. If I changed the hat etc would you mind if I reused the dress?" and take your cue from their response

What a massive fuss. If my mum came to me and had that conversation I'd think she was being bonkers to have even considered it was an issue and cut her off halfway through. Anyone who is bothered on their wedding day about their mother wearing a completely appropriate and attractive outfit that happens to not be brand new is being completely ludicrous.

Just wear it, OP. I’m a clothesaholic of the first order and my favourite frock came out for two family weddings in short order. I wore a different hat.

If you love it and you look good, wear it again. You can always have different accessories/hairstyle/hat/makeup.

I hate this wasteful idea that we can only wear an outfit once. I don't think it's acceptable even for royalty or celebrities.

That's why I bought my MOH a beautiful party dress that she can wear again (instead of the generic pastel BM dresses you can buy but definitely not wear to a Christmas party)

I also hate the idea of beautiful outfits and dresses being hidden away never to be seen again. It makes me sad. They were made to be seen!

I wouldn't give a second thought if DM wore the same dress to DB wedding. It's a lovely dress.

I would wear it twice, but not for my children's weddings.

Oh and my reasoning is, I would like to look differant in the wedding photos, and my dc all deserve their weddings to be worthy of a new outfit. If money was an issue, I would wear it again though. All eyes will be on the bride & groom anyways! ☺

Just speak to your child (the second one) and their partner to see how they feel. It's not worth upsetting them.
This wouldn't have bothered me, but then I grew up in the olden days when everyone had one outfit for 'best' which included weddings. Guests used to be given a little flower buttonhole and the MOB would be given a bigger fancier one to dress the outfits up.

Why not ask your DCs if they mind? If I was the second DC I think I’d feel a bit like you couldn’t be bothered to make a special effort for my wedding when you did for my sibling. I think you need to go shopping again OP.

i wouldnt
think of the photos!

@EleanorReally what about the photos?

If the worry is that you will look the same, well presumably the men will look the same as they won't be going out and buying a whole new morning suit or tux. So what's the difference?

If the worry is that people somehow won't be able to distinguish between two weddings in the photos (with different venues, guests, B&G, wedding parties), because one guest is wearing the same outfit, then I'd gently suggest that they're a few braincells short.

No but the mother is quite important

@EleanorReally so is the father and he'll be wearing the same thing.

With regards to the photos - surely most whole family photos get looked at and then put in an album/box? None of our parents have any group shots on display - just a photo of us.
If you still love your outfit, I don't see any problem with you wearing it again. I doubt that most people would even notice (and who really cares if they do?)

I don't understand why wearing a nice outfit for only the second time can be considered to be 'not making a special effort'.

I don't understand why wearing a nice outfit for only the second time can be considered to be 'not making a special effort'

Me neither. This is proper completely other planet territory to me.

I'm wiht BarbaraofSeville and DappledThings on this one. I really dislike the idea that a woman should be expected to buy a brand new outfit for every special occasion and that if she doesn't it's some kind of failing on her part. It's both non-environmentally friendly and also sexist because no one criticises a man for wearing the same suit more than once!

OP, does your DC2 care about environmental issues and waste? Because if so, he or she might actually have a positive preference for you to wear the same nice outfit again rather than go out and buy something new just for the sake of it.

Having said all that, if your DC2 is someone who does take a lot of interest in what people wear, or who likes going shopping with you for clothes, or who has a tendency to think you favour DC1, then perhaps tread a bit carefully. I would suggest raising the question in a face to face conversation. If you get an immediate, "Mum, don't be so daft! Of course it's fine!" then you have your answer. If you get, "I don't know" or "Are you having trouble finding something you like?" or similar, that suggests that your DC2 is bothered, in which case perhaps get a different outfit rather than risk upsetting them, even though it's a bit silly really.

I’d be tempted to get a new hat. You can totally change the outfit with accessories.

Why not? And why do people think it matters if you wear the same outfit in 2 sets of photos? If you like the outfit and it suits you, then you’ll look good in both photos. I wouldn’t mind betting some of the men will wear the same suit twice and nobody would think anything about that.

Yes, PP - will have a chat with DC2 and their partner

I totally agree with @mykingdomforanickname. It's very wasteful and nobody bats an eye when men wear their suit to every wedding.

Not for your kids wedding no!

Wear it twice, but let your DC know. You don't believe in fast fashion and are thinking of the impact of clothing on the environment, if you want to give a reason.