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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

RE; 100% attendance

126 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 23/07/2019 21:18

The other day dd6 got told she will be attending the end of year 100% tea party they throw. She had 99.8%. I’ve just asked her now as I didn’t pick her up but she told me they didn’t Let her go as she didn’t have 100%. Why tell her about it, I’m a bit miffed off aswell as the one day she did have off was the day her Nan died, they all know as my Nan helped out at the school. AIBU that she can’t help that someone died and that she should have been able to go? It’s was 0.2 for crying out loud. And also they shouldn’t have told her.

OP posts:

Farmerswifey12 · 23/07/2019 21:21

YANBU regarding the school's policy. In genuine cases children can't help being ill or a relative passes, they shouldn't be punished for that

Pipandmum · 23/07/2019 21:24

It’s a stupid idea for a party.

NameWithChange · 23/07/2019 21:24

I think that is an appalling policy and extra shit decision made given your circs.

PhannyPharts · 23/07/2019 21:25

I don't like the idea of celebrating 100% attendance. People can't help getting ill. Losing loved ones. Life gets in the way.

Prefer to celebrate 100% effort when my child is in school.

SandunesAndRainclouds · 23/07/2019 21:26

My DD has to have oncology checks twice a year so she’ll never get 100% attendance. Doesn’t bother her so much, but it doesn’t seem fair to punish her for seeing the people who literally keep her alive...

Passthecherrycoke · 23/07/2019 21:28

I don’t really understand the math tbh but I don’t think 100% attendance celebrations are the issue- gives many children something to aim for- but that they told your DD she had it then withdrew the invite. I’d complain about that

nauseous5000 · 23/07/2019 21:32

I hate these attendance prizes and I say that as a mum whose child has got 100% attendance three years in a row. Health is a matter of luck! I do admire her for keeping going when she's feeling a bit rotten with a cold etc, but hate that the school make out she's a better pupil than others just based on attendance when she (and all the other kids with widely differing attendance) all have reasons to be celebrated that are nothing to do with this

PooWillyBumBum · 23/07/2019 21:35

I think a certificate for kids who turn up 100% is fine and most kids won’t be that miffed if there are other awards at the same time, but a tea party seems OTT as a reward for never having got the shits or had to go to the dentist.

formerbabe · 23/07/2019 21:37

Can't stand the attendance certificates and prizes...my ds once got 100%. He was lucky he never got ill that year. My dd never gets it because she has sn and lots of therapy appointments. It's nonsense.

Harpingon · 23/07/2019 21:38

My daughter is punished for having a disability, she has to attend hospital and is often sick. She has never had a reward. It's crap.

Passthecherrycoke · 23/07/2019 21:41

It’s not punishing not to get one getting one isn’t the default

AbbyNormal · 23/07/2019 21:41

I absolutely hate rewards for attendance. It's completely out of the child's hands whether they attend school or not and they shouldn't be rewarded or punished. I say this as someone whose DS gets 100% certificates most years. It's not something that should be celebrated IMO.

BrokenWing · 23/07/2019 21:42

AIBU that she can’t help that someone died

The same way the kids that were ill can't help being ill, or the 6 yr olds whose parents can't be arsed getting them to school on time can make their parents step up, or the 6 yr old who can't help that their parents think holidays are more educational than school.

Whole thing is stupid at that age.

Liverbird77 · 23/07/2019 21:42

One school I worked in brought this in for staff as well!. So patronising.
These rewards are utter nonsense. Kids and adults cannot help getting sick etc.
At our school, it was called "resilience". How you can be resilient in the face of, say, glandular fever, baffles me.

AnnaMariaDreams · 23/07/2019 21:44

I wouldn’t support a school who rewarded attendance. Children have no control over it so should not be rewarded or sanctioned over it.

AmyFl · 23/07/2019 21:47

I hate these attendance rewards. (and I say that as someone whose DC did have 100% attendance some years). It's just luck, nothing more, and definitely should not be celebrated.

Cornishmum00 · 23/07/2019 21:48

My dd used to have 3 monthly check ups so missed the end of term trip for 100% every time. I complained and the next term her medical appointments were not taken into account when the trip happened so she was able to go. Not fair to invite her then withdraw it, i would email them to make sure you get full story

Maryann1975 · 23/07/2019 21:50

Well done children that you haven’t been ill this year. Or worse, well done children for having parents that sent you to school even though you were ill, breaking the rules on sickness for whatever reason. Also well done that none of your family have died this year, so no funerals for you to attend. And also, excellent that you didn’t have to go to any hospital appointments for whatever reason you need them during school time - lucky that either you don’t need to see a medical professional or that you were lucky they made your appointment during school holidays.

As you can tell, these awards piss me off completely and my children know they won’t be getting praise from me if they come home with a 100% certificate (that’s happened once in the 20 school years they have completed between them, so it isn’t a common occurrence in this house!

CoodleMoodle · 23/07/2019 21:51

I hate this. DD had 3 days off in October because she was being sick and, quite rightly, wasn't allowed to go in. Then she had a couple of days off in June for an ear infection, as well as two days where I sent her in to see how she went, and they sent her home at lunchtime for a slightly raised temp. Fair enough, but they're the ones who complain.

For 100% attendance in Term 1 they got a takeaway pizza. Term 2 it was an Easter Egg (DD got that one). Term 3 it was an ice cream from the ice cream man. If they got 100% attendance all year they got a cinema trip.

I know schools have to keep on top of abscences but it really pisses me off.

leccybill · 23/07/2019 21:52

All schools reward attendance, they have to be seen to incentivising good attendance by the govt and Ofsted.
Meanwhile, in the real world, we all know it's nonsense.

PinkiOcelot · 23/07/2019 21:54

Utter load of crap. The whole 100% thing should be scrapped all together.

Sirzy · 23/07/2019 21:58

Ds had 78% attendance last term. That figure doesn’t reflect the many hospital appointments he has had or the three days in hospital for surgery where he was so determined not to miss school he was back in on half days less than a week later even though he was adjusting to now being peg fed.

Thankfully his school do no more than a certificate for attendance but some schools would have felt it appropriate to discriminate against him for trips and prizes for something he had no control over and where he had to work a hell of a lot harder to be in as much as he was than some
Children would have to for 100>

midsummabreak · 23/07/2019 21:58

Write a brief letter explaining exactly what you stated here. Send it to make a formal complaint.

No child should be punished by exclusion from a party due to attending a funeral.

Isatis · 23/07/2019 22:03

These policies are incredibly discriminatory and they really need to be challenged. I'd suggest you point out to the governors that they really aren't legal, notably because they discriminate against the disabled and people with long term health conditions.

Justajot · 23/07/2019 22:07

When my grandmother died and DD1 had a day off in September for the funeral, she realised that meant that she wouldn't get a 100% attendance award that year. So her chance for the year was gone in the first month. If it's meant to be an incentive, it's porky thought out at best.

The day before the funeral, DD1 tripped over in the playground and put her teeth through the inside of her lip. The school called me to pick her up, and of course, she was marked absent for the afternoon. That pissed me off even more as she wasn't bleeding by the time I got her (about 15 mins after the call), so she didn't really need to go home and the school's decision lost her the 100% attendance record (albeit, she would have lost it the next day anyway).

I'd be tempted to argue the toss with them if they ask me to pick up an injured child again. I'd go and see if my child was hurt enough to need medical attention, but if not, I'd suggest that if they are going to give out 100% attendance awards then they can keep my injured child for registration at least.

From some of the experiences above, I wonder if any of the children missing out are being discriminated against for disability.

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