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AIBU?

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Original poster

RE; 100% attendance

126 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 23/07/2019 21:18

The other day dd6 got told she will be attending the end of year 100% tea party they throw. She had 99.8%. I’ve just asked her now as I didn’t pick her up but she told me they didn’t Let her go as she didn’t have 100%. Why tell her about it, I’m a bit miffed off aswell as the one day she did have off was the day her Nan died, they all know as my Nan helped out at the school. AIBU that she can’t help that someone died and that she should have been able to go? It’s was 0.2 for crying out loud. And also they shouldn’t have told her.

OP posts:
Aragog · 24/07/2019 15:21

It always surprises me how many parents are happy to support something that actively discriminates against children with SEND and health conditions.

And I am posting from the position of a parent with a child who has no such conditions, has achieved 100% attendance several years (fortunately not had to make a stance at her schools as there were no daft certificates and prizes for it) and also as a member of teaching staff who has openly stated they don't agree with them and actually is at a school who doesn't do them.

missyB1 · 24/07/2019 15:34

kids can’t go to every party or win every award
How do you compete in terms of health / ill health? And why would you want to? How is a child who has enjoyed good health a “winner”? Do you think that children with chronic illness or disability just aren’t trying hard enough? Or that a bereaved child is a loser for going to a funeral? No of course you don’t! That’s why these awards are wrong.

Yodude · 24/07/2019 19:02

I just think these awards are no big deal and we shouldn't make our children think they are. One of my children has a health condition that will make it unlikely she could ever have 100 percent attendance and the other 2 haven't had it yet either. Doesn't mean I want to stop kids getting it who maybe haven't been rewarded for anything else all year.

ForalltheSaints · 24/07/2019 19:40

A certificate perhaps, or a recognition in the child's school report, but nothing of the kind the OP mentions. There are too many awards for all sorts of things, which devalues them, and so this could be one small step.

Starlight456 · 24/07/2019 19:53

This pops up every year . I hate them particularly in primary. I decide if my son goes to school .

My son got a silver award this year . He had 2 sickness bugs and a migraine in a year . My sons school sensibly don’t include medical appointments. . He knows I don’t approve . I think been ill is pretty rubbish in itself . Not something in child’s control. Or can put effort in to improve

YouMaySayImADreamer · 24/07/2019 19:55

The 100% attendance thing really bugs me. I stick rigidly to the 48 hour policy for v&d even if it means incovenience because of time off work, or if noone would have ever known because it occured at the weekend. However I know plenty of others who don't and who send their dc in.

So in effect, my dc go to school and probably catch half these illnesses from less considerate people some of whom probably then receive attendance awards!

Aside from this, my dc suffer from tonsillitis and ear infections occasionally and may need a day or two off when they are at their worst. It seems ridiculous to give out rewards for something over which those who do get ill have no control.

simplekindoflife · 24/07/2019 20:05

Attendance awards infuriate me. It's pure luck if your child gets ill in term time or not. I say this with two dc with 99% attendance. School is important, but it's more important to keep your child at home if they're really ill.

But being penalised for having one day off to grieve for a grandparent is below the bloody belt though. Poor kid.

What kind of message is that sending exactly?! I'd ask them to clarify exactly that: just what are you trying to convey to your dd in this specific situation? That it's not 'good behaviour' to be upset if someone you love dies?!

A workplace would face a legal suit if they did this to an adult!

Passmethepepsi · 24/07/2019 20:25

I absolutely hate attendance awards. In my dd’s school they reward attendance with money, non uniform, even chocolate cake. All the children can then point out which was off that week and ‘lost’ them the treat so to speak. I absolutely hate it and have often felt like complaining about it.

Primary aged children just don’t have any control over their attendance. Wether it be a family death, long term illness or just any bug that’s bound to go round.

danni0509 · 24/07/2019 20:40

@chinateapot Thanks

Original poster
Hadenoughofitall441 · 24/07/2019 22:50

@simplekindoflife well she only told me last night before bed so I couldn’t really do enything. The headteacher was an interim and is thankfully leaving as she’s bloody useless. Not much I can do about it now. DP is fuming. I’m more pissed off that she got told she could go then they changed thier minds. DP is threatening to ring governors, I’ve dissuaded him but he was fuming when he found out.

OP posts:
Kidworries · 24/07/2019 22:59

That is really horriblem my D's had 100 % attendance until the last month of school when the doctor's finally decided to take my concerns regarding something seriously and he was in and out of hospital for nearly 2 weeks. So he went down to something like 94% something like that. He was so upset as they put it in their school report, seperate paper, but it's still there and it says the likelihood percentages of doing well based on their attendance. So he saw that and it says he might fall behind. I had to remind him it was the last 2 weeks of school and they mainly coloured and watched films so i don't think that's going to effect his learning too much...

Aragog · 25/07/2019 11:04

I do remember one year at another school I volunteered at - 100% attendance award being given out on the last but one day of term, as part of a bigger assembly - and one of the award winners was absent - they'd gone on holiday with their family. Was quite amusing at the time Grin

Auramigraine · 25/07/2019 11:36

YANBU I despise that 100% reward bullshit, they do it at my DC school. Ironically, my DC had two days off for a D&V bug which was caught at school by one of the kids who did get a 100% reward!! (And yes I know as she said to a few of us in the playground he had been vomiting but was fine to go in AngryHmm) low and behold within 24hours mine and other DC were kept off as per the 48 hr rule!! Totally put me off donating anything to the school anymore to be honest as they gave money vouchers to the 100% and I am hell giving a penny towards them.

YouSayPotatoesISayVodka · 25/07/2019 11:41

I hate these types of things. Primary age children have no control really about how they get to school and if they have time off. I decide if my 2 are too ill to go in. And no one can help being too ill for school. Or having a hospital appointment in school ours. Or being in too much of a state because someone close to them has just died. Acknowledge the children who got 100% attendance in their school report but they don’t need a party because they were lucky enough to be too ill to be off school etc.

Purplejay · 25/07/2019 11:55

I hate the idea of celebrating attendance. Not only do the kids who have had the misfortune to be ill or have someone die, they then have the misfortune of being treated like they have done something wrong by the school.

My DS has not had a good year attendance wise (around 86%). Almost all the tutors comments on his report relate to improving his attendance going forward. If only 😟

FishCanFly · 25/07/2019 11:57

Meh. Is your daughter very upset by this? If she is, just buy her an ice cream or a toy and just forget about it. Hmm

Bibijayne · 25/07/2019 11:59

I hate the idea of punishing children for being ill or suffering a bereavement. It's utterly abhorrent.

FishCanFly · 25/07/2019 12:00

Also if 100% attendance is not worth of recognition with a token award, then there surely is no sin in pulling sickies to go on a holiday.

FishCanFly · 25/07/2019 12:02

I hate the idea of punishing children for being ill or suffering a bereavement. It's utterly abhorrent.
Not getting an award isn't a punishment Hmm

Sirzy · 25/07/2019 12:18

Being left behind on a trip for a reason that is out of your control is.
Watching your peers get gift cards when your worrying what you will eat that night because of the shit your helping deal with at home is a punishment.

I think to not understand why any more than a certificate is discrimination shows a very narrow minded view of the world

FishCanFly · 25/07/2019 14:33

Unless its some very extreme situation, i don't see why you yourself can't buy some chocolate cake or take your child the to cinema if they're so hard done by at school.
Also how many kids get those 100% awards? My guess would be that very few.

Aragog · 25/07/2019 14:39

But if it's not a punishment to not get a reward for being ill or not having a family member die ...

Why would there even be a reward for those fortunate enough to only get ill in holidays, or not at all, and to not suffer ema bereavement?

I mean it's nothing to reward really is it? It's nonsense. Having these awards won't magically mean children will stop getting ill.

It can, and does, however encourage a certain type of parent to send their children in when ill and then spreading it around the class.

Passthecherrycoke · 25/07/2019 14:55

I think your over estimating how many parents would give a shit about their children “achieving” this- particularly competitive parents. It’s hardly being Mary in the Christmas play is it?

I had a 100% attendance and it was awarded and arranged by the local authority which I think is better- no one at my school would even have known about it.

But as I said, it did encourage perfectly normal average children like me who used to pretend to be sick and take a duvet day every so often

FishCanFly · 25/07/2019 14:59

I mean it's nothing to reward really is it? It's nonsense. Having these awards won't magically mean children will stop getting ill.
Its no more silly than any other award in primary school.

Aragog · 25/07/2019 22:47

But children at least have an element of control over most other rewards. They don't for attendance ones.

And they discriminate children with SEND and health conditions. That bit is obvious and get many many schools have scrapped them.