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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

RE; 100% attendance

126 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 23/07/2019 21:18

The other day dd6 got told she will be attending the end of year 100% tea party they throw. She had 99.8%. I’ve just asked her now as I didn’t pick her up but she told me they didn’t Let her go as she didn’t have 100%. Why tell her about it, I’m a bit miffed off aswell as the one day she did have off was the day her Nan died, they all know as my Nan helped out at the school. AIBU that she can’t help that someone died and that she should have been able to go? It’s was 0.2 for crying out loud. And also they shouldn’t have told her.

OP posts:

TheJellyBabyMadeMeDoIt · 24/07/2019 08:43

I hate anything to do with attendance bribes.

My DD has wobbly mental health and CAMHS intervention. One year it was so bad that she dropped to 17% attendance (CAMHS at the time were brilliant and fought for me to not receive threatening letters from the LEA)

This year she has battled through some tough times with anxiety and depression and because she knows her attendance isn't great she has gone in when feeling physically unwell (colds, chest infection!) and been sent home by school. But she did have some time off when the MH problems overwhelmed her.

Her attendance is 93.5%

Her school reward anyone with attendance over 95%

Last week she (and everyone else with lower than average attendance) were left in school while the rest of the year group with 95 and above got to go to Blackpool Pleasure Beach as a reward.

Had I known (she didn't tell me as was ashamed ffs!!) I'd have let her have the day off as a reward for the sheer effort she has put in to this school year and getting such a good (for her) level of attendance in the face of personal adversity.

Bastards.

Skinnychip · 24/07/2019 08:43

My DS has had 100% attendance the last 2 years. Fortunately/unfortunately he seemed to be sick in the school holidays. 3 years ago he had nearly 3 weeks off (in one term) for a d and v bug that refused to go away. After the first few days all the episodes were first thing in the morning and he was otherwise happy, so theoretically i could have sent him in but i felt it was unfair to other parents esp those with kids with compromised immune systems. Luckily i work for myself so i could take time off.

Oblomov19 · 24/07/2019 08:44

I really feel it's wrong too. Worse still to invite and then not allow!

And both my Ds1 and Ds2 have had 100% attendance many times, Ds1 did for most of his primary, or if it wasn't 100% it was always close.

Skinnychip · 24/07/2019 08:45

Dd has not had 100% attendance as she has had hospital apts (for a minor issue) that can only be done within school hours.

missbattenburg · 24/07/2019 08:59

Attendance tracking is just presenteeism in another form. Softening kids up for a lifetime of 'being there is more important than the output'.

It's toxic to the work environment and I suspect it's toxic to schools.

Oblomov19 · 24/07/2019 09:15

I disagree with pp. I don't see it as presenteeism. Some kids just aren't sick, ill, don't need to attend hospital appointments etc.

I'm rarely ill, myself. I don't take time off work, few sick days, simply because I don't need to. Not stealth boast. It's just a fact.

I don't have a problem with people who do need time off though.

But, Why is that that children and adults who aren't often ill are being criticised?

missyB1 · 24/07/2019 11:13

Children aren’t being criticised. The system of rewarding them for good health is.

However it’s not surprising if people get annoyed at parents who send sick kids to school which then causes staff and other kids to fall ill. Passing around infections in the hope of getting an end of year treat is not something to encourage.

Aragog · 24/07/2019 11:20

I dislike 100% attendance rewards, even more so for primary aged children.

Most of those children at that age have no control over their own attendance. It is usually down to parents whether they can attend or not. So really if you do have to have them, they should reward the parents rather than the child

They discriminate against children with health conditions and SEND.

They don't promote a healthy approach to dealing with illnesses either. It encourages people to go into school whilst ill and thus spreading the illnesses, despite schools supposedly having a 48 hour V&D policy.

I teach and expressed my thoughts a while back about them not long after starting working at my current school. Many of the staff felt the same. We no longer have them and haven't for several years.

DD's school (now sixth form) do send home emails for pupils with over 95% (or 97?) attendance asking us to tell them well done. No rewards.

notacooldad · 24/07/2019 11:28

Both my lads got 100% attendance and they had celebration meals.
We all thought it was absolutely ridiculous that you are getting rewarded for something you should be doing anyway but punished for something you cant help, like sickness, death in the family etc.
It should not be allowed. It is not fair or just.

MarieIVanArkleStinks · 24/07/2019 11:31

My DC had one of these certificates a week ago at the end of reception year. They also read names out in a special assembly.

I don't agree with it. Would they have thanked me if he'd had a sick bug and I sent him into school a vomiting mess, thus potentially infecting scores of other children in the process?

Kids get sick. That's life. And their well-being matters more than the school's statistics.

YADNBU.

Aragog · 24/07/2019 11:32

gives many children something to aim for

Very few primary school aged children have control over whether they go to school or not. That is down to parents.

Kids should be rewarded/punished for things within their control.

Exactly this.

All schools reward attendance,

No they don't. They record attendance and it is often reported on. However all schools most definitely do NOT give rewards, certificates and prizes for 100% attendance. I know several, my own included, who don't.

punishing

Punishing may be the wrong word. It is exclusion or discrimination that is the issue. Some children are being discriminated against due to having a health condition or SEND. It isn't right and it isn't fair.

Parents, and teachers too imo, need to write in and make complaints. the more that do, the more chances of them being scrapped.

Aragog · 24/07/2019 11:33

notacooldad

If you really didn't agree with it the best way to show this would have been to explain to your children why they are wrong, and tell school your children would not be attending and why,

notacooldad · 24/07/2019 11:44

If you really didn't agree with it the best way to show this would have been to explain to your children why they are wrong, and tell school your children would not be attending and why,

They've been left school 7 years now. From what I recall we probably just signed the consent form and at the time didn't think too much about it. It is only after seeing more and more petty exclusions from schools and working with teenagers I've questioned it a lot more.

JacquesHammer · 24/07/2019 12:06

gives many children something to aim for

It’s a foolish thing to aim for. Especially when a child can be off ill at the start of the year and the 100% attendance is already lost.

formerbabe · 24/07/2019 12:46

The thing is this actually does upset my dd, even though as adults we know it's a load of crap. She takes school really seriously and awards and certificates mean a lot to her...she says, I can't win the attendance because of my appointments. I tell her its silly obviously but it does bother her.

Yodude · 24/07/2019 12:57

I think it is fine for there to be recognition of attendance. Kids don't have to go to every party or win every award. It is nice that there are lots of awards for lots of different things do that kids all have a chance to win something. It also let's them know that they won't win everything and that that is okay.
I don't thing they should have told her she was going and then uninvited her. That's not on. It was their mistake to invite her when she didn't have 100 percent attendance so they should have honoured the invite.

sheepysheep · 24/07/2019 12:58

Bloody awful idea, it makes me really cross. The reason my lad hasn’t had 100% attendance award is due to the fact that I actually adhere to the 48h rule.... It may be unfair to assume but perhaps some of the 100%ers don’t.... one child who got an award this term was sick in the classroom a few weeks ago 🤔 then both my lads ended up with D&V. Oh joy

CecilyP · 24/07/2019 13:03

But, Why is that that children and adults who aren't often ill are being criticised? hmm

They're not; they are criticising the school staff who have put the reward system in place. They are suggesting that if kids have the good fortune to never be ill, it doesn't represent some virtue on their part, it is simply good fortune. They're also encouraging kids to come in when they should be at home. And it probably doesn't make any difference to parents who keep their kids home for the flimsiest excuses.

Sirzy · 24/07/2019 13:05

Surely the reward for children who don’t have lives which make attending school hard is having a full and regular education and not forever playing catch up?

Deadringer · 24/07/2019 13:10

So children are being rewarded for being healthy and being lucky enough to not be bereaved during the year. It's stupid, children should be rewarded for good behaviour or other stuff that's actually in their control.

Yodude · 24/07/2019 13:20

I hate all this 'if my child can't win nobody should'. Teach your kids they can't win everything and that it doesn't matter. Somebody else has won. Give them a clap. Be happy for them. Move on.

JacquesHammer · 24/07/2019 13:23

I hate all this 'if my child can't win nobody should'

I don’t think anyone for a moment thinks that.

They do think awards that actively discriminate against certain pupils isn’t an appropriate way of recognising achievement.

Indeed “being well” isn’t an achievement!

Sirzy · 24/07/2019 13:26

Giving them a clap for getting a certificate is one thing. Giving them a clap while they go off to a party or a theme park while your recovering from major surgery, or worrying about your mum at home who you are a young carer for is another!

Passthecherrycoke · 24/07/2019 13:49

I have to say I agree with yodude. Surely your children don’t expect to be in the running for all awards? The maths prize, winning races on sports day, winning an art award etc etc. Those who can’t do those things won’t be in the running either?

Aragog · 24/07/2019 15:18

I hate all this 'if my child can't win nobody should'.

Since when was being lucky enough to not have an illness, long term health condition, SEND, a death in the family, etc a competition where someone s going to win?!

As said many times, at primary age, children are NOT responsible for their attendance. That is down to their parents.

So children aren't 'winning' these awards - their parents are at the very most. Maybe mums and dads should be the ones going to these ridiculous tea parties?

They're nothing like other awards really - effort, attainment, etc, At least the children have at least an element of control over it!

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