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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

RE; 100% attendance

126 replies

Hadenoughofitall441 · 23/07/2019 21:18

The other day dd6 got told she will be attending the end of year 100% tea party they throw. She had 99.8%. I’ve just asked her now as I didn’t pick her up but she told me they didn’t Let her go as she didn’t have 100%. Why tell her about it, I’m a bit miffed off aswell as the one day she did have off was the day her Nan died, they all know as my Nan helped out at the school. AIBU that she can’t help that someone died and that she should have been able to go? It’s was 0.2 for crying out loud. And also they shouldn’t have told her.

OP posts:
Harpingon · 23/07/2019 23:10

Passthecherrycoke my daughter is not able to ever get one, she has not an ounce of hope of ever getting one, she is therefore punished for having a disability. I'm not sure how you are not getting it?

Yeahnahmum · 23/07/2019 23:31

Alsonpp your daughter is not being PUNISHED for having a disability. The others are being rewarded

That some kids get rewarded doesn't then automatically mean that your kid gets punished Hmm.

Celticrose · 23/07/2019 23:55

This has just brought to mind we used to have something like this at work. I never used to know that it existed until it was mentioned one day at tea break about someone getting a 100% attendance award. Think they had 100% for a few years on the trot. Cannot remember what the award was. Also remember at school a girl getting a gold watch for 100% attendance for the whole five years at high school. That was a long time ago and may have been something to do with the Education Board and not the school.

Poloshot · 23/07/2019 23:57

She didn't have 100% attendance so couldn't go to the 100% attendance party what's difficult to understand

Justaboutdone · 24/07/2019 00:11

My DD missed one afternoon of school due to an overrunning hospital appt. I mean 3
Hours overrunning!!

Anyway she never got 100% attendance but was happy with what she did get and got lots of certificates.

What I have made clear to her though is it was pretty much luck. She just happened never to be poorly on school days?

She will most likely always have good attendance as she is healthy and I am unlikely to take her out of school
For holidays.

Her attendance has not been as good other years and in Reception was absent a lot of final half term due to exceptional circumstances

UnderCaffeinated · 24/07/2019 00:16

Last year when DS was in reception the school ran a trip to the cinema for the children with 95% attendance.

He had an awful tummy bug and obviously couldn't go back to school until he was 48hrs clear of an 'episode' and the frequency of it meant that he ended up off school for just over two weeks, he was so poorly and he couldn't even control his bowels, so 6 weeks into his life at school he was already going to be excluded from the school trip for being unwell.

DH called the school and was furious about it but they said 'well, how do we know he was really unwell and you weren't off to Tenerife on a cheap deal?' he discussed it with the governors and funnily enough, this year all the children went to the cinema the Friday before they broke up for school. Acknowledging 100% attendance is fine, but rewarding it isn't to me.

NameWithChange · 24/07/2019 00:32

Is there such a thing in a work place as a 100% attendance reward? Hmmm.

IAmNotAWitch · 24/07/2019 00:45

Snort, yeah rewarded for showing up the most.

Kids should be rewarded/punished for things within their control.

My children have zero control over whether they go to school or not, DH and I make that decision, not them.

The school can kiss my arse if they think I am going to give any thought to their attendance policy when deciding what is best for my kids on any given day.

JockTamsonsBairns · 24/07/2019 01:01

I always find these attendance threads really weird. We've moved around a lot over the course of the DC's primary schooling, so I've got experience of several - each and every one of them has only ever produced a computer printed certificate of 100% attendance. Not one of the schools has ever had any sort of treat or special outing.
All three of my DC's are lucky in as much as they have no health problems, so they've often received a certificate - but no-one is ever particularly bothered about it? There's no big fanfare or anything.

differentnameforthis · 24/07/2019 01:45

I don't agree with attendance parties. They exclude children who through hardly any fault of their own don't have 100% attendance.

They should be boycotted.

Passthecherrycoke · 24/07/2019 04:09

Yeahnahmum She’s not being punished is she? She’ll be in the classroom along with anyone else who has been poorly or at appointments that year.

100% attendance awards are there for less diligent students like me, who used to pretend they were sick and stay in bed all day reading a few days a year. It’s obviously not designed to expect students who can’t attend disbelief to illness or appointments to do so, that’s just common sense

snitzelvoncrumb · 24/07/2019 04:14

It's ridiculous. Can you have a party with all the kids in the class that didn't make the attendance party? Perhaps have it during class time so it affects the schools attendance record.

Argeles · 24/07/2019 04:28

I used to have a friend who won this prize every single year. It used to really anger me, as she would struggle into school when she was very ill and definitely should’ve been at home. I found it particularly unfair, since I have a fairly low immune system and would catch everything that she had, and I just could not struggle in to school in the same way - especially since I had to take 4 buses each day to and from there. Another friend of ours used to suffer with severe asthma and become hospitalised each year with pneumonia. We were always sure that it was ‘miss 100% percent’s fault.’

HellYeah90s · 24/07/2019 05:11

Another reason I am grateful I am no longer in the UK.

ds1 missed quite a lot of school due to uncontrolled epilepsy. Appts, plus he would be off if he had a seizure. Never got the 100%

ds2 didn't even get it though in reception because he seemed to get every sickness bug going and we had attended DH gran funeral.

Children with disabilities already have it much tougher than other kids, yet they suffer even more from stuff like this.

PantsyMcPantsface · 24/07/2019 07:32

Our school doesn’t labour attendance at all and still has a very very good Ofsted (I was in the feedback meeting so I know just how good it was). So much that one of mine has 100% this year and the other is just below the threshold where they start to worry (she had surgery and other medical appointments this year) and the kids are none the wiser.

Sandybval · 24/07/2019 07:32

I think it's definitely unfair at primary school, I don't think at that age many have the comprehension of I'm not being punished, and it's that the others are being rewarded.

BeanBag7 · 24/07/2019 07:42

Children at primary have no control over their attendance so I dont understand the logic behind having an "incentive" to have 100%. Being I'll is unavoidable so an incentive isn't going to prevent that. If parents want to book holidays, the fact that little Suzie wont get to go to the end of term party isn't going to stop them!

I can understand attendance awards a bit more in secondary school where kids might be more likely to fein illness or bunk off but even then I think more than a certificate is unfair on those with genuine medical issues.

formerbabe · 24/07/2019 07:46

I sent my dd to school and they had PE first thing. She'd just eaten a big breakfast at home and was jumping around...she was sick but not properly vomiting, literally just a small amount came up. The school insisted she shouldn't return for 48hours. It was so frustrating, she wasn't sick again, she was absolutely fine.

CellularBlanket · 24/07/2019 07:54

If you reward kids, (and adults), for being genetically fast runners, good kickers, bi-lingual from birth, having a knack for maths, having good handwriting or parents who helped with confidence then why not also reward those whoe were lucky not to have to miss school for a major event but who also (often) made a huge effort NOT to miss school.

FWIW my son got awarded a 100% certificate and this was the only thing EVER he won. (Dyspraxic, awkward, learning difficulties etc).

In adult life, if you are a self-employed worker, a builder, a salesperson on commission, a childminder or a first division football player you will soon realise that without excellent attendance you will be unlikely to do well.

formerbabe · 24/07/2019 08:02

It seems to me there's no joined up thinking.

The only time my dc had off school was for medical appointments, yet I received a letter about her poor attendance.

Now, imagine if I didn't attend these appointments, I'm sure I'd be reported to ss for neglecting my dcs health needs.

Plus schools will strictly enforce the 48 hour rule yet moan about attendance.

It feels like parents can't win.

lyralalala · 24/07/2019 08:08

I was involved with a group of parents who got the over the top rewards for 100% attendance scrapped in DS’s old school.

By all means reward with a certificate. Have a mention in assembly.

However, we encountered a HT who decided that children with 100% attendance would get a day at a theme park. A full on major day out that would be taken from the schools already fucked budget. (Think coach to Alton towers type thing).

No matter how resilient my DD is not ever having the chance to go on that trip because of her disability feels like being punished because she’s a child.

There was also an irony in rewarding kids who hadn’t missed a day of school with missing a day of school.

Thankfully the head realised that going so ott was unfair on kids with ill health and those with shit parents. Instead the 100% kids have a small thing in the school hall with the HT. the kids who win other awards also have the same thing with her on a different day.

JacquesHammer · 24/07/2019 08:19

Attendance should never be used as a method of determining who is rewarded and who isn’t.

Rewards should be for things the child can control and change, not genetic pot luck!

Pinktinker · 24/07/2019 08:27

I hate attendance awards, they’re absolutely pathetic. A child has no control over getting sick and shouldn’t be punished for it. I also don’t think not getting ill that year is something worth rewarding.

ladyvimes · 24/07/2019 08:30

Teacher here.
Hate it. It’s massively offensive and bloody ridiculous.
Well done for not getting sick, not having to go to the doctors, not having any funerals to attend.
Total load of bollocks!

KurriKawari · 24/07/2019 08:34

At DD school you get a certificate for good behaviour/kindness/effort/respect.

For 100% attendance you get a gift voucher for Smyths. This really irks me. So good behaviour is treated with a "meh" but hey you turned up so here's a gift.