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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be annoyed at plans cancelled last minute

95 replies

FutureMrsC · 23/07/2019 20:10

Maybe an obvious one. Apologies.
For context me and dp don't live together, 1 DC each.
Dp said he would come round in the morning (my day off) I agreed and said I would let him know when I'm awake.
I text to say I was awake. Few hours later he replied and said hell be round in an hour or two.
Just before the hour I rang (he didn't answer) i assumed he was drivinh, I was going to suggest we go out with kids my treat. I rang again an hour later (the 2hr mark that he'd said) again, no reply. I sent a text asking if he was ok. Still no reply.
2.5hrs later he replied with '"yes. My phone is on silent".so I rang back. No answer. Text again. No answer.
An hour after this he text to say he's not going to come as its getting late and DC being difficult. I just though ok then, rang to ask. Again no response back.
Aibu? Could he not have text me a lot earlier to say he was cancelling? As appose to cancelling hours after the agreed meetbup time?!

OP posts:
stilldontgiveaf · 23/07/2019 20:14

That's pretty shitty of him.

Ivehadthisnamemostofmylife · 23/07/2019 20:16

How long have you been together? Is it something that happens often or a one-off?

If a one off I would tell him how it has made you feel today, I feel it shows a lack of respect towards you as though you have nothing better to do with your time than wait around for him.

In future, if he has not shown by the time he is supposed to I would message and say "we are leaving to go ??? at ???. If you're not here by then I'll assume you're not coming."

Sorry you've had such a rubbish start to the holidays. It's been such a lovely day it's a shame to have wasted it hanging around for someone.

NewPapaGuinea · 23/07/2019 20:26

So a few hours after waking he messaged to say he’d be 2 hours. 2 hours lapsed and then 2.5 hours later you had contact and then another hour later he cancelled. Assuming “a few hours” to be at least 2 he cancelled 7.5 hours after you woke. That is diabolical!

Original poster
FutureMrsC · 23/07/2019 20:27

@Ivehadthisnamemostofmyife been together 5 years. A complicated relationship as such. He's never let me down like this, he has previously had a tendancyvto arrange a time then turn up later. I don't really understand that. Even though other day he offered to pick me up from work after my staff meeting. I said it'll be about an hour I'm not sure. Dead on the hour he was there and ringing me to see where I was :s the meeting over ran by 20mins

OP posts:
CherithPonsonby · 23/07/2019 20:28

That would piss me right off. It’s rude!

BishopofBathandWells · 23/07/2019 21:08

Quite apart from anything else, he's telling you that his time is more valuable than yours. What a dick, I'd be furious.

OKBobble · 23/07/2019 21:25

But he said there is an issue with his DC. Have you even asked what the issue is?

AmIRightOrAMeringue · 23/07/2019 21:54

The worst thing about this is him replying to say his phone is on silent! No actual apology for being late or anything! If he had time to send that then he had time to let you know what was going on

Bourbonbiccy · 23/07/2019 22:01

Yeah I would have said he may not have had time of his child was being difficult, but then to txt that he should have really just said, I don't think I can make it.

I wouldn't have stopped my plans waiting for him though, I would have just txt saying "going out, ring me when you're near by and I will let you know where we are"

BeanBag7 · 23/07/2019 22:09

I would be very annoyed at this. Especially the 2.5 hours of nothing followed by "my phone was on silent" with no explanation or apology of why he is hours later than he said he would be. Did he say what he had been doing all day?

LovePoppy · 23/07/2019 22:24

I’d be beyond livid

What a way to show you how little you mean to him

Original poster
FutureMrsC · 24/07/2019 13:34

Sorry I dint make clear. Our DC are both of ours, it just made sense to have one child each as we still see each other a lot anyway. DC who was 'being difficult' was just playing Lego

OP posts:
MrsGrannyWeatherwax · 24/07/2019 13:38

I’m sorry I don’t understand, you’ve split up your under 5 year olds to make it easier?

coconutpie · 24/07/2019 13:40

You split up your DC? WTAF? That is the oddest thing I've ever heard. Why on Earth don't they both live with you??!!

coconutpie · 24/07/2019 13:41

And why don't you live together if you have DC? This is a seriously fucked up living arrangement.

Thehop · 24/07/2019 13:44

You’ve split the kids????? Is that permanent ?

CatOnASwing · 24/07/2019 13:45

You thought you'd take a child each?

WTF??

Merryoldgoat · 24/07/2019 13:48

The arrangement sounds odd to me generally but the not answering then texting back and not telling you he wasn’t coming over would’ve infuriated me.

Teachermaths · 24/07/2019 13:50

Wtf you have a child each. That's so random.

Original poster
FutureMrsC · 24/07/2019 20:11

We used to live together. Couldnt affordbit and didn't want a 1bed for 4 of us that'd be ridiculous. So temporarily separate. DC see each other 3-4 times a week

OP posts:
Waiting1987 · 24/07/2019 20:16

I assumed you were talking about a casual boy friend. I would assume they were trying to split up with me if someone behaved like that.

SnowWhitesRestingBitchFace · 24/07/2019 20:20

Was going to reply and then saw your latest update and now I don't really know what to say. It's like the bloody parent trap!

MadamWaffle · 24/07/2019 20:21

What??

Badmgr · 24/07/2019 20:24

So reading between the lines and making an assumption, you have split your kids up and live separately to claim maximum benefits as 2 single parents? Your poor kids..

Namechangeforthiscancershit · 24/07/2019 20:25

You've split your kids up? Don't you miss the one that doesn't live with you?