This is why Mumsnet is so funny. You get to hear what people really think. Why are certain posters do enraged that I disagree with them when I’m a random stranger on the internet?
Here is why. They realise that other people in real life think the same things, and they can’t bear it.
Consequently the internet stranger must be subjected to a pile on. Unfortunately for you, it has had no effect on me. I continue to hold the same view.
You are free to look up ‘crass’, ‘vulgar’ and ‘tacky’ in a dictionary but I’ll save you the bother. Insensitive, blundering, lacking grace, sophistication and manners.
Asking for money, particularly for a honeymoon, is grasping and reduces your guests to individual funding streams. At least one pro-cash gift poster upthread has noted that anybody opposed to the cash gifts only policy shouldn’t go to the wedding because then the bride and groom won’t have to buy them dinner and a drink. The relationship, in that case, is reduced to a transaction.
Somebody else upthread talks about passing the same £40 around at weddings. That made me laugh.
The bottom line is, if you are getting married why should you tell people to give you money? You’re saying, I know best, and I know what I want from you: cash. I want a fancy honeymoon that I can’t afford, or a new kitchen, whatever, and I’ve decided that you will be paying for it. Dress it up with all the poetry you like: that’s what it is.
If your guests choose to buy you a toaster, and you don’t want a toaster, tough luck. Sell it on eBay or give it to a charity shop. That’s preferable to begging for money.
Incidentally I know why certain posters are desperate for me to define why asking for money is tacky, crass and vulgar. It’s so that they can convince themselves that they are none of those things. Even the type who post insults when somebody disagrees with them. An excellent display of crassness, tackiness and vulgarity.
(Incidentally, I don’t buy toasters or photo frames. I’m happy to clear that up).