Babies are worse than toddlers when going out.

[Sianlouise432]

A genuine AIBU because I'm coming from a place of 0% experience with toddlers.

I know I've got the terrible twos to look forward to, however I just think taking a baby out and about is SO ANNOYING.

DS can stay awake for max 1.5 hours before he gets cranky. He fusses and cries. Toddlers have tantrums but you can kind of ignore them.. Babies cry for genuine needs which makes it so difficult cause you HAVE to act.

So AIBU? Babies are worse to take out and about.

There is a lot of rose tinted spectacles here about having a baby. Nothing has ever been as hard for me as the baby bit ..no sleep...actual torture levels of sleep deprivation and a baby you can't ever put down for long....horrendous. at least toddlers are funny and kiss you and make clear their love for you .

I only speak for myself here but I think some of it is due to inexperience when they're babies... Now I am a, semi pro at handling toddler (well, I don't panic in public anymore or get stressed) but a crying baby used to put me on high alert, I literally never relaxed when out unless he was fast asleep. Now I have another on the way and can't enjoy those early days as I'll be running around after toddler!!

God no! Babies are far, far easier. In every way. Not just going out. Sure, there are the sleepless nights. But I'd do that all over again to be able to go out for a bite to eat without being on tenterhooks waiting for the next tantrum.
Toddlers are way more fun though.

Depends on the baby/toddler in all honesty. My 3 year old is easy everywhere. Great in restaurants even. And I can talk him down from tantrums and reason with him. But he wasn’t that tough as a baby either. Not easy but not tough.
My youngest however is 🤯 and has been since the day he was born. He’s 18 months and I’m a bit daunted that he’s going to be 2 soon!

Actually laughing my head off reading these comments that sum up my life right now with a 20 month old! Wouldn’t have it any other way..! It’s very hard adjusting OP. My DD was a dream as a baby really too but I only appreciated it after she turned one and started walking (running) and turned in to the most defiant, stubborn, mad-as-a-box-of-frogs kid ever!

Wow what a thread. I've read every comment, thank you.
General consensus is that toddlers are way harder, louder, irrational and unpredictable where as babies' crying can be fixed however some babies (like my ds) can be really bad nappers and wake up at the slightest change in atmosphere or sound, hence getting moody and crying quickly in public. Needing feeding really frequently and being relentless and causing mums to keep outings as short as poss. Us mums cannot dream of sitting in a cafe with such needy babies. Meanwhile some fussy babies actually became easygoing toddlers. I hope hope hope ds becomes one of them.

AmIRightOrAMeringue

^

What she said

Military fucking operation

I used to be able to pop DS in the sling and basically pretend he wasn’t there. Now he wants to be independent and gets into everything. It’s a whole different ballgame once they are mobile!

'There is a lot of rose tinted spectacles here about having a baby. Nothing has ever been as hard for me as the baby bit ..no sleep...actual torture levels of sleep deprivation and a baby you can't ever put down for long....horrendous. at least toddlers are funny and kiss you and make clear their love for you .'

I totally agree the newborn stage is shite and once they turn 2 it's much pleasanter, but not where going out and about is concerned.

'I'd do that all over again to be able to go out for a bite to eat without being on tenterhooks waiting for the next tantrum. '

One good thing is once they turn 2 they stop wanting to share your food unless it's something delicious like chocolate or crisps of course.

My now 4 year old was always easy, and still is to take out, it lured me into a false sense of security because my nearly 2 year old was a bloody NIGHTMARE from the moment he came out!

If I fancy having a breakdown I'll take him out to the shops

(Today, in the space of about 20 seconds when I was dealing with my 4 year old, he managed to get out the straps of the pram, take his shirt off and run into the Apple store)

Babies are easier. Babies can sleep in their prams or buggies. They either want fed or held or to sleep. Older children are so not like that. You will know.

Reading this I’ve no idea why people would have kids. Thank goodness they do.

There is a lot of rose tinted spectacles here about having a baby. Nothing has ever been as hard for me as the baby bit ..no sleep...actual torture levels of sleep deprivation and a baby you can't ever put down for long....horrendous. at least toddlers are funny and kiss you and make clear their love for you

Oh god no, absolutely no rose tinted spectacles here. Firstly, I generally dislike the baby stage and secondly I currently have 5 and 4 year olds and a 6 month old so am not long past the toddler stage as well as being in the thick of the baby stage!
Still find it easier out and about with a baby than a toddler.

I think it depends on the baby. DS was a tough baby to keep happy and so it wasn't worth going out (constantly crying if not feeding and very rarely napped) so he is better now as a toddler bc I can distract him and communicate (a tiny bit) with him.

Where as my second baby is much more chilled and goes 2-3 hours between feeds, sleeps in the pram....I can take them anywhere without problems! Much easier than a toddler.

Can’t and won’t take a toddler out anywhere other than is designed for them. Even supermarket , wildlife park , coffee shop. Complete effing nightmare.
Babies are hard and a faff when out but generally will get ok with it as long as clean and fed but nothing like the hurricane of a toddler.

@itscallednickingbentcoppers so true I wouldn’t even go in a shop in an emergency. It’s literally like hell.

Toddlers are aliens

Haha, a day with just my small baby and without my toddler is my day off. I arrange to see friends or go places or tidy the house.

A baby bag need only contain a couple of nappies, wipes and a spare baby grow. Toddler ones are the same (number of nappies decrease but their size and weight increase so the same really), but with added sippy cups, snacks, plastic dinosaurs, baby reins etc.

My EBF, not that easy (comparatively) baby is much much easier than my easier than average generally polite and pleasant toddler.

When I went clothes shopping with my baby, she slept, I tried on clothes. When I did the same with my toddler, she pressed the emergency button (we were unfortunately in the accessible changing room) and then opened the curtain and ran out into the shop. Whilst I was half way through trying on a bra.

Going to the loo with her in public is a race between me weeing and her opening the door to run out. So I distract her by giving a running commentary...

My toddler is not a horror, or an alien, and she genuinely is wonderful company and I love spending time with her. But even the easiest toddler is still a shed load of effort.

I read this whole thread while boobing my baby to sleep. My husband puts our toddler to bed and it is far, far more tricky and certainly doesn't involve browsing the Internet.

The good thing is that babies turn into toddlers gradually so you have chance to get used to it, and you learn as you go. When you are in the thick of the toddler years you then look back to the immobile babies, whose demands are so simple ( milk, cuddles, not screaming because the imaginary monster won't come for tea).

You'll be fine when you get here.
But baby vs toddler for effort is kind of in pet terms like mouse vs dog.

The other thing is, you start counting really small victories as Winning At Life.

Like, DT1 has just learnt how to turn around when going down steps, meaning he no longer relentlessly tries to faceplant down the step to the glassed in front porch. This might seem minor but it means I can now leave the front door open so can pop him in the porch, in my line of sight, to shout at passing cars whilst I do something else.

To a childless person that probably seems but everyone with multiple kids under 5 will know that is epic!

I loled at "you can kind of ignore tantrums" bit. Good luck with that.

I had a tough baby. Nearly killed me those baby months! He hated the pram. Only napped at home and generally cried constantly. From 1yr I've enjoyed him thoroughly! He's now almost 3 and we go to cafes and out and about all the time and it's honestly great! Makes up for the many months/years of babyhood when I couldn't take him anywhere!

Yanbu. Everyone who says otherwise definitely had an easy baby!

DD is 13 months and toddling. I can cope with the odd tantrum. At least I can actually leave the house now and I’m not pulling my hair out/ listening to all day screeching. Plus you can bribe them with snacks as they get older.

I have a baby, haven't got to the toddler stage yet but I know it's going to be so much harder!