Babies are worse than toddlers when going out.

[Sianlouise432]

A genuine AIBU because I'm coming from a place of 0% experience with toddlers.

I know I've got the terrible twos to look forward to, however I just think taking a baby out and about is SO ANNOYING.

DS can stay awake for max 1.5 hours before he gets cranky. He fusses and cries. Toddlers have tantrums but you can kind of ignore them.. Babies cry for genuine needs which makes it so difficult cause you HAVE to act.

So AIBU? Babies are worse to take out and about.

Hahahahahaaha oh joy! My DS is only 4 months and he's just been so demanding pretty much since 4 weeks. Hates the pram stopping, needs to be entertained, doesn't nap well on the move. Just had to feed him to sleep and hold him in the middle of wetherspoons having breakfast 😂 you're all quite right, I didn't think about the moving aspect of toddlers though!

My toddler is awful out. She's 16m. Refuses ( well tries to refuse ) the pushchair. Hates getting in the car.. Hates being retrained. Wants to be free.
I was invited out to. Lunch last week and after 15min she wanted out of the highchair. We hadn't even eaten.. Was soo stressful. As a baby u can lay them down and rock them or cuddle and they don't escape.

Toddlers have tantrums but you can kind of ignore them.. Babies cry for genuine needs which makes it so difficult cause you HAVE to act.

Nope. Nope.

You have more stuff to cart about when they're a baby, I definitely remember thinking things were much easier and there was a sweet spot between about 7 and 12 months when they could sit in a high chair and you could get them food and drink out and about but still couldn't walk. However they are a piece of piss compared to a toddler. My 2.5 year old doesn't want to walk, doesn't want to go in the pram, if you put him in a shopping trolley he screams bit if you let him loose he'll just pull things off the shelves. You've got all of these fun and games to come!

It depends!

I found taking my nice placid and obedient toddler out a complete delight compared to taking him out as a cranky, nap refusing, pram refusing cluster feeding baby.

A BABY IS A WALK IN THE PARK.... LITERALLY!

Toddler
-Runs in the road
-see's a dog? Runs to the dog
-see's a child? Runs to the child
-wants picking up
-doesn't want to walk also doesn't want to be in the pram
-has a tantrum after 5 minutes in the shop
-you want to look at anything in a shop? Good luck, your toddler is in the sweet or toy section!
-hides in clothes rail right in front of you, makes you think someone has taken them!

😂😂😂

The problem with first babies is that it is so hard compared to having no offspring at all to look after on a 24/7 basis that you can’t imagine anything harder. The shock of going from just you to having to get a whole other dependent person out of the house each day and keep them alive is so great that the only way to keep going sometimes is to convince yourself it has to get easier. But by the time you have a rapidly growing toddler doing random things like grabbing things in shops and putting them in their mouths (eg sweets, bleach, antiques,etc,) diving at stuff like roads or edges at every opportunity with a terrifying death wish, and shouting stuff like ‘Look! Piss! Look! Cock’ when they see things like a fish or a clock you realise that you wish you could go back to the baby days when you just had to carry them everywhere and change their nappies every 10 minutes.

This is why people are so much more chilled with second babies - it’s not because second babies are easier, but because parents are saving themselves for the toddler onslaught. If it helps, they start to get easier at about 7 years old, then by the time they are 11 they try to pretend you don’t exist unless they want a lift somewhere or something paying for.

Depends on the child completely - hopefully yours gets easier!! In ways I find it less stressful now they are toddlers (twins), no nap timings etc. But I live in constant fear of them running in opposite directions! I went out more alone when they were babies, I won't go some places now unless I have help! You absolutely can’t ignore them - they need much more attention than babies by far

@Sianlouise432 holding a baby whilst eating a lovely hot breakfast? At least your not running after him or trying to get him to eat HIS breakfast whilst yours goes stone cold 🥴

I am looking forward to DS being born and DD going to nursery so I can go and eat a nice hot breakfast😏

Getting a baby out and about -
Fed? Clean? Got a bag of nappies? Right then

Getting a toddler out and about - put clothes on for millionth time that they've taken off. Same with jacket. And shoes. Explain why cant wear swimming costume and flip flops to shops in November. Compromise and let them wear over their clothes. Undress them again because they need a wee. Go through whole process again because they wet themselves as couldn't get swimming costume off in time. Try and fold rigid toddler into car seat as they have now decided you are evil incarnate for making them go out to buy their food or because you're not at the shops yet. Explain a million times that everyone has to wear a car seat. And hat we're not there yet. Stop twice because they've deliberately got their foot stuck in the car seat and you need to free it. Wrestle out of the car at the other end as its nice and cozy and they like the car and why are you trying to get them out? Deal with shouting at you and other children on rides when you dont let them go on rides. Etc etc etc and that's before you've actually done anything.

SWAP you OP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Toddlers are hellish. A baby crying is nothing compared to a toddler throwing themselves around, kicking off shoes, grabbing and hurling things....

Going against the grain... I find my active, confident, bustling 18mo much, much, MUCH easier than I ever found her as a baby. In every single respect. I think the easiest stage was 8-11mo when she wasn't moving but was very cheerful and adaptable, but even now when she's constantly on the go, wants to walk everywhere, picks everything up, strops when she's in her buggy too long etc etc it's way easier than when she was tiny.

My 4mo basically starts crying when my food arrives, stops crying when I pick him up and put him on my shoulder and hence I cannot eat my food 😂😂 he is also ridiculously long for his age thanks to his 6 ft 1 daddy, and enjoys trying to catapult himself over my shoulder. God only knows how I'm gonna deal with him as a toddler and he's like 5 ft tall hahaha (joke)

This has reminded me though of the time toddler DD stubbed her toe in the supermarket check out queue once and screamed ‘Ooowwwwww! Fuck! Fuck, ow! Fuck! Owwwww!’ To disapproving glances all round. Turns out she had trouble saying ‘foot’ but that didn’t make it any less mortifying at the times.

No way! Just been shopping with my baby. Whatever mood he’s in he’s strapped down!

They hide shoes and keys.

I have a 3 year old and she is so much easier to take out now but she was a horrible screaming baby who cried and cried and never napped longer than 30 minutes at a time until she dropped naps at 17 months 😬
So yes ime toddlers are easier

Babies (first babies) are harder because you can remember clearly what it was like when you could just... go about the place! You're having to hold someone in Wetherspoons now, and this is compared vividly in your mind with a few short months ago when you could just hang out and "a few hours" seemed a short time. it is a real shock and I sympathise!

But you are in baby time now, so 1.5 hours for a trip feels reasonable for a baby - it's just a period of short, boring sessions all day long.

Toddlers are harder because - they are actually harder. You have to go only to places there is stuff for them to do and you are just as tired as you are now but you have to dig deep and find clever ways of "selling" every outing and distracting them and telling stories etc, as well as keeping them near a toilet, wiping their bums and faces every 2 mins etc.

But toddlers are easier because you're in the zone. You don't expect hours to yourself, and 20 mins of them being quiet is genuinely refreshing and helps you keep going.

Babies are squishy and cuddly. Toddlers are funny, sweet, fierce and adorable. It's all knackering and brilliant and awful and fabulous. Congrats on your baby!! x

OP I felt exactly the same as you when DS was a baby. He's now 15 months, has the ability to run and it's all he wants to do. HATES the pram and being confined to high chair for anything for longer than 20 minutes. The only meals we manage now are carveries as they're super quick!

I think it all comes down to his naps really. He's fed, clean and loved but just will not sleep!! I should probably mention, trust me, my food is not hot when I'm eating it lol

@Pepperwand DS is seven months, crawling and pulling himself up to standing and starting to cruise. No sweet spot here!

Babies are much easier. You can stick them in a sling and voila. They're as happy as Larry and often sleep like the dead.

I have a 4yo and 16mo. The 4yo is fairly easy now but ages 1.5 to 3 was bloody awkward. Even as a high strung baby he was much easier than a toddler. The younger one is just hitting the awkward stage but was a piece of piss to take around as a baby. Even with the amount of time I spent chasing his brother.

I have a 4 year old and a just 1 year old. They run/toddle in opposite directions. They fight over toys/who is holding which of my hands/which direction we're walking in. Good luck ignoring the full on 30 minute screaming fit because someone said no in dd's presence (wasn't even to her...she's the 1 year old) or the full on defiance that ds is capable of. You go to a cafe, you order them the lunch that they asked for, it arrives and they want something else (usually ice cream/softplay/some very expensive toy). Then the one in the highchair starts lobbing food on the floor giggling before screaming when she realises she can't eat it anymore. Meanwhile the other one decides he needs a mega poo and only you can take him to the toilet. Contrast that with the baby phase, where milk would shut both of them up, where I could just wear them instead of having to chase them...

Then there is the A&E visits because they insist on doing the toddler version of "hold my beer", the parties where they manage to consume their own weight in sugar in 2 seconds flat and the phase where they repeatedly keep taking off their clothing in public.

Babies are wonderful in comparison and I say that as someone who has had two fairly demanding babies. I couldn't put dd down for the first 6 months without being screamed at and ds had reflux combined with the most horrendous cluster feeding. Getting them out of the house was a lot easier and a lot less stressful than it is now.

I think it depends on the child. DS was happy to chill or sleep in his pushchair and we never had "terrible twos" or any tantrums. Once able to sit in a chair when out he stayed put and was never a child we had to chase around. He's 8 now and is still a completely relaxed child.

DD is 10 months and it's like she has sensors that go off once the pushchair stops moving. Or we think we can have a quiet coffee while out because she's napping but the minute our bums hit the seat her eyes open. She was a velcro baby until about 7 months, possibly longer. It's all a sleepless blur. And I can tell by her personality now that I'm going to be running around after her constantly once she reaches toddler stage. Can't wait

@emmabryant123 yes my ds is a terrible napper. Needs motion or feeding and wakes up after 30 minutes