Babies are worse than toddlers when going out.

[Sianlouise432]

A genuine AIBU because I'm coming from a place of 0% experience with toddlers.

I know I've got the terrible twos to look forward to, however I just think taking a baby out and about is SO ANNOYING.

DS can stay awake for max 1.5 hours before he gets cranky. He fusses and cries. Toddlers have tantrums but you can kind of ignore them.. Babies cry for genuine needs which makes it so difficult cause you HAVE to act.

So AIBU? Babies are worse to take out and about.

"Babies are so much easier. You can take a baby out and still have a coffee and chat with a friend"

Nonnymum, when? How old is the baby? Last time I did that he was like a week old 😂

I have a baby and a toddler, the baby is a dream, the toddler is an asshole (still love him!). Seriously! I don’t actually go out anywhere not toddler focused with my elder one anymore, where as I will go out with the baby whenever I like!

Haven't had the time to rtft but what a relief to find that others also find the toddler years and outings so difficult. Had such a difficult time last week while on holidays with mine and was really thinking I was doing something wrong or maybe that something was wrong with mine but a quick read of this has been really reassuring.
Don't get me wrong the baby stage can be really difficult but they are so much more portable and easier to settle. It's not as demanding physically and psychologically. The general public are nicer too.

Going against the grain here. I have a three year old. She's a million times easier now than when she was a baby. She did scream 24/7 as a baby though and now is just a typical toddler.

I have a three year old.

I miss the baby days so much. Enjoy them while they last!

I had a really difficult baby but I never let it stop me getting out and about or I would have gone mad.

I wish I could still do my lovely walks with baby DD in the buggy, toddler DD has refused the buggy for the best part of a year. She can walk for absolutely ages now, but once she gives up she is bloody heavy to carry.

OP I get what you mean. When DD was a baby I couldn't go anywhere cos she would need to nap and would wake up if I stopped moving/A dog barked etc. I never went to a cafe with her. Now she's almost two it's way easier. Sure she sometimes tantrums but she can also be entertained/given food/tell me what's wrong. People love to tell you it only gets worse though

Just another voice in the chorus of “toddlers are harder”.

Babies are immobile. They may be clingy and demanding, but they’re stationary. They don’t tantrum or run off or climb something or any other of the many idiotic things toddlers do. They are more demanding emotionally. They can be right wee shits.

SOME things get easier in the toddler years. They eat normal food, so you need to bring fewer supplies. Nappy changes get less frequent, so the nappy bag gets smaller. Stuff like that.

My advice is to wait for the toddler years before comparing.

Mine go through different behavioural regression periods but essentially I do find it easier the older they get.

Toddlers have more capacity to injure the general public themselves but they can also entertain themselves more.

Last year, if I took (then) 3.5yo DD to the park with under-6-mo twins, the twins quickly got bored in their buggy. Now, 4.5yo DD can play with the 17mo twins, they can go on the swings and slide, and run around and burn off some energy. I can take them all to a cafe after and they can sit up and share a biscuit and a natter.

There's a lot more running around and you have to be on your toes more but they are just much more independent. And they sleep for more than 2 hours without wanting a bf/ rocking to sleep/ etc.

I literally hate taking out my baby and I did for my first born too!

My DD is 22 months now and is so much fun when we are out and about! She loves food so is great in restaurants and likes walking so doesn't always have to be in the pushchair. You can also slightly reason with them!

However, my 7 week old is the worst! You just spend time rocking them in the pushchair, terrified they'll wake up the second they smell your food (and happiness).

sianlouise please don't feel you have you hide your baby under a muslin cloth when you feed him. You are doing something natural and shouldn't feel you need to hide.

I have a toddler and a baby. Toddler is way harder. There's no way I, or anyone else, could ingore her if she were to tantrum...It's loud and embarrassing.

@voyageinthedark thank you!! Ahha

I hope ds will let me sit and have a coffee when he is 6 months old.

The more independent DD has got, the happier she is. Now we sit and have lunch together and chat away. If we go out with friends she sits and chats to all of them. She's happy to play by herself if I have a friend round for coffee - she just potters about. It is a zillion times easier, I promise!

Not all babies are easy. Not all toddlers are nightmares.

@nonnymum that's a whole other debate haha. But I know what you're saying. DS doesn't mind too much and doesn't take too long to feed so it's just easier than offending closed minded people or getting funny stares

Babies don’t want for much.

Toddlers are active with not much more understanding and everything is confusing and frustrating for them. 100x harder.

Babies are a different kind of hard to babies. DS as a baby had an undiagnosed tongue tie and stopped putting weight on at about six weeks, so he was on the boob constantly, literally, 23 hours of the day.
My entire body hurt with tiredness and he literally sucked the life out of me like a tiny adorable dementor. Then he wanted to see what was going on, wanted to be involved from being a few months old. The sleep deprivation, the learning curve because everything changes so fast. But you are amazed by them. And at yourself, because you made them.

He's now 2 years 8 months. He can talk. Which means he can argue. EVERYTHING is a negotiation. He can lose his shit just because, there doesn't need to be anything pedestrian like a reason. He had a death wish, how dare I try to do something as boring as walking on the pavement, he wants to go in the canal, doesn't matter that he can't swim, he'll just go on his scooter in there, everyone knows that metal scooters are practically buoyancy aids! He'll climb that ten foot ladder and be on the shed roof before you can cross the length of the garden. And the opinions, he's not eating that, he doesn't like those shorts, he's not wearing a nappy, but he's not going to use the potty either. He doesn't nap, so you have to gauge everything on him having just the right amount of energy to enjoy an activity, but not fall asleep in the car on the way home, cause hell hath no fury like an overtired toddler who's been woken up.

But toddlers are hilarious, they express everything, they make you laugh out loud multiple times a day, they are learning to be people and mimic you in doing things you didn't even know you did until you recognize it in them. And they can be really good company, bit you're also really glad when it's bedtime

I wouldn’t want to relive DDs baby days for all the tea in China. It was hellish. She cried non stop and only slept in half hour chunks.

She is a toddler now and an absolute delight. Yes she has tantrums, needs constant entertaining and watching, but she is also fun and more predictable as well as a lot more reasonable!

Depends on the child IMO! Hope you get an easier ride with toddlerhood OP.

My one kernel of wisdom to pass on is don’t compare! Just try and enjoy the good bits of each stage.

Eg I would guess you’re at the stage where you can pop your baby down, turn away and they’ll still be in the same place when you turn back. Enjoy that aspect! And trust that the rubbish stuff will (hopefully) pass soon. Don’t long for the next stage, enjoy where they are now because that’s the only place you can be right now! So you might as well!!!

A lot of it is down to temperament definitely.

My twins were and continue to be polar opposites when we go out. As small babies DS was one of those babies who just happily looked about at everything with fascination and then fell asleep whenever he felt like it, such a calm peaceful baby. Now he’s a toddler and is constantly fighting the harness, trying to climb out of the pushchair and grabs at EVERYTHING.

DD was on oxygen for a long time as a baby, she would get extremely fussy, clingy and angry when we were out (plus I would get knackered quickly having to push the twins chariot of a stroller and carry an oxygen tank on my back!) there were times where I’d just opt out of leaving the flat we lived in because I couldn’t face the distress from DD. It would continue through the whole day even after getting home. As a toddler DD is so happy when we go out, she coos and chatters away and only gets cranky when it’s nap time (she still can’t nap in the pushchair).

Neither are quite walking yet due to delays (they were born very prematurely and at a very low birth weight) and I’m dreading the day that they decide to run off in opposite directions when we’re out for the day 😂

toddlers are fucking savage. good luck OP 🤣

Swap you OP.

My 3yo chews my ears off every second of every day. Especially when we're out.
She wants to go to soft play, she wants a magazine/toy/sweeties, she needs the toilet, her legs are tired, she wants to be carried, oh look it's a puppy, her legs are sore/itchy, her feet are sore/itchy, her hair hurts, her ears hurt.
That was this morning alone. I'm exhausted.

Give me a cute, squishy baby any day.

Also, get used to eating your food cold. My friend cooked a roast for us last week and had to put mine in the microwave twice by the time I'd taken DD to the toilet, helped her cut her food, washed her hands because they'd gravy on them, took her to the toilet again, helped her eat peas.
Honest to god. Sooooo tired.

Babies are easy. Apart from when it cries in Wetherspoons beer garden with the girls.

😂😂😂😂😂😂 ahhh if only that was the case!

I have a 1 year old and a two year old. 1 year old far easier when out and about