To really dislike the attitude some people have about council estates?

[MoominMantra]

Specifically this;

'I grew up on a council estate but I wanted to better myself'

Better yourself? What does that actually mean? I think people like this are insecure and suffer from internalised shame about their roots.

I was then told that because I didn't grow up on a council estate myself then I have no right to an opinion on this.

All I know is that it's deeply unpleasant to look down on others whatever the circumstances. It's not wrong to be happy living on a council estate is it.

AIBU?

I also hate the phrase "better yourself" and I did grow up on a Council estate. I don't think I'm a better person because I no longer live on one.

No council estates left where I live. Everything was long ago sold off. These ex council properties are built to a much better standard than modern builds, they have decent sized gardens, front parking and are close to amenities. The modern builds have postage stamp sized gardens, no off road parking and tend to be on new estates with no sign of a corner shop, doctors and a trek to school every morning.

I know which one I would rather live in and it wouldn’t be an over priced Lego house.

Generally the people who use phrases like that are the ones who are nowhere near as successful as they believe themselves to be.

I grew up on a council estate and no longer live on one, but I would probably be a completely different person now than I would have been if I'd have grown up somewhere different.
I'm incredibly grateful for the childhood I had.

These ex council properties are built to a much better standard than modern builds, they have decent sized gardens, front parking and are close to amenities

This is so true!!

But I think when people do use phrases like that it shows they need to look down on someone else because they themselves are so insecure.

The council estate in my town comprises decent-sized semi and detached houses with big gardens, all conveniently located for shops, schools and parks.

Unfortunately it is also rife with social problems. The police and/or ambulance service are there most Saturday evenings. Little children play outside on the road until late. Large groups of teens intimidate passers-by. Alcoholism and drug abuse is visible.

I have several friends, and a family member, who live there and are hardworking, lovely people but they are weary of all of the above.

I'm sure these problems exist outside of council estates. I'm sure not all council estates are like this. But I don't judge anyone for wanting the option of private housing, and the choices that go with it, and aiming for that.

Living on a council estate is hardly aspirational, or really shouldn't be!
So it makes sense, no need to take it personally.

There's just as much reverse snobbery about private schools, naice areas, who cares.

I grew up on a private housing estate and I now live in an ex-council house, and every single tradesman we’ve had in has commented on how well built it is and how much space we have. Our neighbours who are council tenants are all lovely, most have lived here for decades and keep their houses and gardens very neat and tidy.

When we wanted to move a while ago we were looking at some new builds near where I work, and they were so squashed together, tiny rooms no space and no front gardens and about a third more expensive (thanks to “help to buy”) I’d only look at ex-council houses now as they’re great value for money.

It's not being insecure to be honest about who you are and admit you wanted more and worked hard to get it

On a side note, I can tell you why a lot of people will never consider buying an ex-council house - it's not snobbery, it's being aware that someone bought a house at a complete bargain price but sold it at full market rate making a huge profit on the back of tax payers and people who do need housing.

Whilst there's nothing an individual can do about it, at least they don't want to be involved in that ludicrous process.

I see your point, I wouldn't suddenly be "better" if I moved onto a private estate.

I think people are misinterpreting what I mean.

People can aspire to be who they want and live where they want without any judgement from me.

But when people feel the need to be nasty about those who still live on council estates, and call them 'low lives' or think they are wrong for not 'bettering themselves'

That is what is not ok imho

I grew up on a council estate in inner city Manchester. It was a rough estate with open drug dealing , low employment and our next door neighbour was a prostitute. I am very glad my mum managed to get a decent job and was able to move us away to a nicer area.
Where we moved to is also a council estate but polar opposite of where we came from, the people are lovely.
However I was a child of the 80s and things are very different now than they were then.

I grew up and live on a council estate i've lived in my house for 34 years i love it, plenty shops, doctor's, dentist, school's, library, community centre and a good bus service, great neighbour's, wouldnt change where i live for a so called posh estate.

I grew up on multiple council estates and my parents, grandparents ect still live in one. does that give me permission to answer this question fully?
I would say YABU, I’ve lived it first hand and I mean the proper estates where 99% were rented from the council rather than today where 40/50% are mortgages or private rented, although I doubt much has changed.
I’m honest it was great and awful in equal measure, there is many social problems as mentioned above; you don’t feel safe, your often burgled or cars damaged. The parks are poor quality, issues with teenagers drinking on the drinks (which I was one of), so on that stance I did want to better myself and swore I wouldn’t end up living in somewhere like that with my children. However I still feel a sense of community when I go back and I loved how no one at school had a pot to p* in so we were all the same! There was little bullying about the haves and have nots, more about the size of peoples noses etc, so that far I am grateful as i suspect being on free school meals in more mixed schooling would have been awful.
I think unless you’ve grown up in them, then you can’t really comment and the romanticising of them by talking about them having a large garden is slightly ridiculous IMO.

It depends very much on the council estate you grew up in though. I grew up on 3 different council estates. One I would have been happy to stay on all my life the other two I would have left as soon as humanly possible because the other tenants were feckless shits.

Living on a council estate was rough growing up even though my family wasn’t at all single parent because the man wanted nothing to do with me and all she could afford. Someone got murdered a few streets away from where I grew up. A few streets away there were 5-6 house in a row of alcohol and drug abusers. There was always fights and drug busts. The council had to install a huge camera to overlook the estate. There’s more to it as well. Living in and around some estates can get you mixed up with the wrong groups as your just trying to survive. I strive to give my children something better something more than those memories. Though, there are also some good ones too and if I’ve brouhht anything from it with me, is if I have to go back there I’ll survive and I take no ones shit. Though I agree OP bit of a cunt thing to say, but I can see where there coming from. It’s not always a cushty easy upbringing. Even though my mum tried to save me from it believe me.

I guess it depends on your definition of "bettering" yourself, but I don't think it's unusual for people that did not enjoy their surroundings when growing up to want to improve their situation. You might not think their choice of housingrepresents a betterment as what's "best" is subjective and we all value different things but it's irrelevant really as you're not the one that has to live with their decisions.

@Youngdoginthevillage I really don't doubt that there are social problems to contend with. I'm not saying people are wrong to want to move.

But they are wrong to judge those who still live there or have those circumstances.

Grow up in the EastEnd of London. Then you'll understand why we say we've bettered ourselves by moving away.

Life is what you make of it.

I don’t think it’s a particular controversial position to take that the more financially independent people are the better they are. Taking tax payers money to fund your lifestyle is hardly moral behaviour.

But they are wrong to judge those who still live there or have those circumstances.

when it's exactly those who still live there that made their life hell back then, of course it's not wrong.

Chav city

'Taking tax payers money to fund your lifestyle is hardly moral behaviour.'

I take it you don't use the NHS then @BogglesGoggles or state schools?

I dont think its the build quality of the houses people are referencing when they say they are glad they got out of council estates!
Sadly a lot of estates that havent been sold off are rife with the kind of problems a pp mentioned. I guess what I am saying is that there are plenty of estates well worth bettering yourself to escape.
It's all well and good to be anti right to buy on a moral basis (not so much out of jealousy of the possible profits) but the fact is that the estates that are nice to live on are that way precisely because a proportion of houses were sold to their tenants. Diversity makes better areas.
On my estate almost noone has bought and its not always a nice atmisphere, with lots of people behaving badly, drinking, drugs, littering and thuglike attitudes.
I notice it always seems to be people who own houses in nice areas who are so horrified at the idea of council tenants being able to buy...it's almost as is they want the working class where they can see them..(below them!)