To really dislike the attitude some people have about council estates?

[MoominMantra]

Specifically this;

'I grew up on a council estate but I wanted to better myself'

Better yourself? What does that actually mean? I think people like this are insecure and suffer from internalised shame about their roots.

I was then told that because I didn't grow up on a council estate myself then I have no right to an opinion on this.

All I know is that it's deeply unpleasant to look down on others whatever the circumstances. It's not wrong to be happy living on a council estate is it.

AIBU?

@YourSarcasmIsDripping don't be so insulting. And read my posts properly.

I don't begrudge anyone a sense of pride in their achievements.

It's when they judge other people for not being able to achieve the same.

YABU you are judging them, they want to better themselves ie own a home, the clue is in the "themself" not be better than everyone else. Ps council estates have some really really horrible families living on them and some awful social problems.

It's when they judge other people for not being able to achieve the same.

How many other people from council estates you know that do that except the guy you're writing about?

@Surfingtheweb

No. That's not what I said. He was heaping scorn on other people who still live in council estate in the context of work. And he was saying that he wanted to better himself and they didn't.

Some people don't have the same opportunities as everyone else. Life isn't uniform.

In the context of *his work I meant

@YourSarcasmIsDripping it's disingenuous to imply that there is not generally a snobbish attitude towards certain people in the UK.

Why else does the word 'chav' exist?

YABU I too grew up on Council Estates 1960's to 1980's. They started off great, then a couple of shitty families moved in and caused endless grief, decent families moved out asap as a result, replaced by more low-life as the rot set in.

Same happens now more often than not from my experience and observation of the council estate a stone's throw away (but there is a really good glazing company nearby........)

I’m with you @MoominMantra I grew up on a council estate, it was a lovely countryside village with one or two rough spots but I had a lovely childhood there.

Fast forward to my early twenties and I had saved as much money as possible to buy my own flat, problem is - I was young and naive and trusted the wrong man so it went to pot. I had to leave the property when he got violent after years of emotional abuse.

Now I’m with my lovely DH and we have twin toddlers. He works full and I’m a SAHM and have little money between us, we needed help and after a few years of being stuck in an overpriced box of a flat (privately rented) we got a house with a Housing Association.

My MIL can’t understand why I haven’t tried to get back onto the property ladder (my credit history is a mess thanks to the abusive ex) and often makes comments about those who remain with council/social housing as though they haven’t made any efforts to “better themselves”. It drives me mad. Her excuse is she lived in council housing when younger and worked hard to get her own house... she lived in one for about 6 months after splitting with DH’s Father. Then managed to buy a house with her new fella after they pooled their money.

So for those who grew up in a council house wanting to own their own home, go for it - it’s a security that a lot of us didn’t feel when growing up. OP isn’t judging you.

But for those who do manage this and then judge those who haven’t done the same - they need to STFU until they’ve walked a mile in the other person’s shoes

It is not "snobbish" to call certain people who make the lives of others hell scum, low life, trash, chav or anything else.

They are all that and worse.

@MoominMantra at least they put the body in the river. Where I come from they post bits in the neighbours letterboxes. That was a scary few weeks.

Council estates= bad

And i read the thread after posted. Sorry you seem to be know such a twat then.

'It is not "snobbish" to call certain people who make the lives of others hell scum, low life, trash, chav or anything else. '

Chav is a term used to describe people by their clothes / lack of money arguably.

I really think that you are choosing to misinterpret what I'm saying. Clearly I don't blame people for disliking families who make the lives of others a misery. That's not what this is about though.

I was sort of with you until the whole
‘Don’t you use the NHS or SCHOOLS?’ Comment, making out that’s the same as being on benefits 🤔

People working and paying tax fund the NHS and Schools so are perfectly entitled to use them. THEY are funding them.
People who are on benefits (some through no fault of their own...but plenty through choice 🙄) use facilities like NHS and public schools, without any current contribution ... and take extra money in the form of benefits to live on.

So you see those two situations are far from the same thing

Strangely enough, my daughter now has a friend who lives in the very same road that this man did and she goes and spends time with her at her house. Her friend hasn't mentioned anything about dismembered bodies being posted through letterboxes. And I'm not horrified by her going there. It just seems like a normal road to me. And she hasn't mentioned anything that worries her.

For anyone who's lived in an area comparable to the Bronx I obviously can see why they would want to get out! But are most council estates really that bad? I do live in a fairly rural town. Perhaps I'm naive.

@iamallastonishment92 I agree it's not the same thing.

But there are an awful lot of people who go around without the realisation that most people do take far more from the state than they actually put in. Whether they work or not...

There are two on the edge of my small town

One seems pretty nice

The other like the Jasmin Allen

I grew up as the daughter of a single parent on a council estate. I definitely wanted "better" for myself (and my child) and I managed to achieve that in that I worked hard and now live in my own house in a nice area. There is absolutely nothing wrong with wanting to "better yourself" and aspire for more in life.

I don't have any issue with council estates or the people who choose, or have no choice, but to live in social housing. I don't look down on them at all or in any way. Social housing is a great option for many people and gives people security that they don't get in private rented. I wish there was more of it to go around.

Just because I aspired to own my own home live somewhere without gangs of kids causing trouble and piss in the lift and the stairwell doesn't make me a snob or a terrible person!

My DS is middle class and I have been able to give him a lot more choices than were available to me because I worked hard and I am proud of that.

YABU _ years ago I brought an ex council house, which had lovely sized rooms and a huge garden.

My council tenant neighbours were decent and hard working. All was fine, until they moved away and the neighbours from hell moved next door!

These neighbours were idle, feckless and entitled gobby people, who never worked a day in their lives and let their children run riot day and night.

The stress they caused me because they thought it was OK for their children to run out in front of my car, pick my flower heads off one by one, run in the garden, play music at all hours, let their children climb over the wall into my back garden when I went out and use my children's trampoline et.al virtually made me a, recluse.

I went to work, but snuck out of my own house like a thief in the night. Parked my car miles away so it was not vandalised and dreaded coming home to see what damage had been caused. No one should be made to feel like that in their own home or neighbourhood.

Yes I reported their behaviour to their housing officer, but because their children were under ten they could not be held responsible for any damaged caused.

In the end I sold the house at a huge loss just to get out and get my life back.

Yes, I am glad I got out . After my experience I never ever would buy a property on or near a council estate ever again. Most are awful places and if that makes me a snob so be it. If it came to it, I would rather be in a small house on a private road than in a big house on an estate.

I am aware that in a private road people can have problems with neighbours too, but it is less likely.

I live on a council estate which is nothing like previous posters have described.

In a cul de sac of 25 houses I would say 25% are retired (having lived here since the houses were built, raised their families and never left) and all the rest of us work..everyone I know on the estate outside of my cul de sac are households where at least one of the adult works.

No drugs, violence or gangs. No scum, low lives, benefit scroungers. Just normal honest families paying their way like everyone else.

Not all estates are the same, and choosing to remain living on one doesn't necessarily mean you lack motivation to "better yourself".

23% of those living in social housing are pensioners. There are also families , couples , etc its a wide demographic.

I think the concept of "bettering" yourself is fine if what you mean is that you've improved your financial position and no longer rely on social housing.

I wouldn't judge those who do rely on it though - it's there for people who are in financial need and we don't know why they are in that position. There but for the grace of God...

I live on a council estate, I don't work 99% of the road does. There's no drugs other than weed, there's no crime I go out and leave the doors unlocked. The school is lovely and well known for having absolutely no bullying as constantly stated in their OFSTED.

You can get bad neighbours in any sort of housing situation. Just being poor doesn't make us bad people.

Council estates per se arent the issue. But the social issues that were rife on council estates in the 80s were. Alcoholism, prostitution, suicides, drug use and dealing, needles in the parks, high unemployment and burglaries. A general lack of respectful behaviour despite the "good" amenities. Ours got torn down though and was highrise blocks. We got moved to a lovely house, big front and back garden and ample parking close to our school. Still didnt like the mentality though. Nothing to do with betterment, but my impoverished childhood filled me with the aspirations that made me who I am today. I wanted more. However, I am rarely content and I suspect if you measured subjective levels of wellbeing and happiness between me and my peers who still live where we grew up, I'd say they are probably happier and more content (some probably have a higher disposable income too). But the things they do to achieve their happiness don't do it for me.

I dislike estates, but that's because my experience of living on them has proved to be as troublesome as I was dragged up to think.

However, I grew up in a naice town, which back then and more recently too has had plenty of murders, robberies, violent crimes, just the other day there was a burglary and some kind of ramming into something by a vehicle in the process (recently moved back here). I've also lived in a tiny village that was worse than the last estate I was on (if you leave out the being shot at, because that was pretty traumatic).

Every single time an old friend of mine rolls out the old "but xxx has such wonderful schools and is such a safe and decent place to live", I remind them it really, really isn't. It's just more full of Tories than your average council estate.

I've visited a council estate which was mainly older folk, and it was a lovely and quiet area.

I'll still never want to live on one again, but I can also think of several other places which have had problems too.

Hope that helps.

I've lived on council.estates for the last 18 years, I first lived in a house I bought on the estate I live in now, there wasn't any trouble, it was quiet, my marriage ended & I had to sell my house, I moved to a council house less than 5 minutes drive away, it was like something out of shameless, residents drinking & doing drugs at 9.00 in the morning, families fighting with baseball bats, it was terrifying to be alone with a small child, after 2 years I moved to the flat I live in now on the estate where I started, it's not a palace but its quiet & nobody bothers us, the shops on the estate are a bit of a no go area but I just don't use them, the rest of the estate is pretty quiet, there is the odd bit of trouble but nothing like I saw on the estate from hell. Council estates are a bit like marmite, you either like them or you don't, but for home buyers you get a lot more house for your money, they are decent sized & usually in reasonable repair. I'm looking for a house now to move to & one day when I can afford it I will hopefully buy it with my right to buy discount, I couldn't afford to buy without this & I will have something to leave my ds which will grow in value.