MIL takes DD out of my arms

[YellowsAndPinks]

Yesterday MIL just took DD 6 months out of my arms without asking. I really hate it but it happened before I had time to do or say anything. I need things to say for if she tries to do it again without looking like I'm causing a scene. How would you react in this situation? If she asked to hold her that's obviously fine it's her just taking her that has given me the rage I'm still furious today.

Just turn away as she goes to take her, and say something like 'not just now, you can hold her later'?

Sorry, she has diarrhoea.

Just tell her no. Boundaries now before she starts taking the piss. She’s rude.

Just take her back! She's your baby!

Can you practice saying ‘ I feel very upset when you take her from me without saying anything.’
If she says you’re being silly, or acts offended you don’t need to discuss it further. Just repeat that that’s how you feel and you’d like her to say something first.
Having boundaries is very important, it’s really healthy to decide what yours are.

I'm a bit of a doormat but I would I this situation say a big no.' What are you doing?NO'.

Turn away and say ‘she’s fine where she is thanks’

Mine used to do this and also would not give baby back when I asked and just walked away when I held my arms out to my baby. I was always a bit too weak to say anything but it really annoyed me. Wish I had been more assertive as I would be now.

Kick her and say "no".

Turn away 'she's fine where she is thanks'.

You have a voice so use it. "No, I've got her", said firmly whilst you turn away. You are the mum and you call the shots. The time to make very clear boundaries with your MIL is right now, and she doesn't have to like it.

“What are you doing?!”
...
-“Well you need to ask then!”
If she protests about it being “her grandchild”, remind her that it’s rude to even take inanimate objects from people without asking, never mind a baby from its mother. Would she take Dh’s phone out of his hands without a word? Your baby means much more than any inanimate object.

It is really rude. YANBU.

Say, "Hey! What are you doing? She's with me for now, you'll get a turn later".

Turn away while saying “We’re fine” or “Still on my turn”.

Agree with the posters who said to set boundaries now. My MIL did this when mine was a newborn and would refuse to give him back despite it being obvious he wanted me. It got to the point where I would have to wrestle him back and it would cause a scene. In the beginning I didn’t say anything despite my annoyance to keep the peace, so she proceeded to take the piss and do what she wanted. Then she took off with him without asking and I had no idea where he was. Be assertive now and don’t let it get to that point.

“No. She needs/wants her mother.”
“You don’t ever take a baby from her mother.”
Or just plain “No.”

She her granny. If baby is happy to go why is it an issue? My mum would want to take mine as soon as she saw them and be excited to hold them. Cant remember if she asked but I didnt mind she didnt need to ask to hold her grandchildren. If u know she loves her and wants to hold her just assume she will want her when u see her. Its holding her not taking her to the moon. Think it's a non issue. If you really dont want her to hold her (why?) Just say aww you can have her in a bit. But dont know why you dont just enjoy watching a gran love your baby. I am not trying to be mean just dont know why it bothers u. It really wouldnt bother me.

This is a difficult one because I can see the mothers point of view and the grannies. Would the OP feel differently if it was her own mother? Also - at the moment it's annoying but if the baby gets a good bond with the granny in a few months you might be able to get her to babysit so you can get a break. My MIL used to do it to me and I was seething, but it's not worth falling out about imo.

I would say something if you can, while the relationship is salvageable. It's things like this that can completely destroy it, one stamped over boundary at a time!

I'm not sure why some MIL's don't realise they are shooting themselves in the foot with this kind of nonsense.

And personally I don't think it matters whether or not you would accept it from your own mother, you have a completely different relationship! It takes time to build that and snatching your baby out of your arms without asking is hardly the way to achieve it.

Stop letting her.

Pretend it's a stranger trying to take her, you wouldn't just let them do it.

You ask though. even if my gd is on the floor I'll ask as I don't know if the parents are going to be planning to do something in the next 10 mins. it's common courtesy. They'd only say no if it was wrong timing.

I’d give MIL a swift kick in the nether regions

Why don't you want her to hold your baby? I have a 7 month old, I get to hold him all the time so when people visit, unless he's crawling around on the floor he gets handed over. I don't think anyone asks, they say to him 'oh come and see grandma' etc and hold their hands out, or I just hand him over. Are you worried she'll drop her/is she a drinker etc?

@Paramicha Exactly. The OP may not mind at all, but to not ask is very wrong. For what it’s worth I would be equally annoyed if my DM had done the same thing.

@LightDrizzle has nailed it IMO

@Halo1234 we're obviously in a minority on here! In real life I don't know anyone who objects to a grandparent cuddling a grandchild....