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AIBU?

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Original poster

Holidays with DH or not

94 replies

Homemadelife · 20/07/2019 12:09

My DH has had 4 holidays overseas this year and another one planned for later in the year so far without me,DD and DS. He also has 2 motorbike,2 sports bikes and various other paraphernalia relating to his hobbies. We are not invited on any of these holidays as he goes with other Male friends. He promised me that we would have a weeks holiday as a family in August but so far nothing has been arranged or book apart from time off work as we both work full time. He has suggested that we could go camping for 3 nights in the Uk. AIBU to be really angry with him that As as a family we are getting a crap holiday because he has spent all of his money on himself ( and my money too I might add). I have told him I do not want to go camping as I end up doing all of the work whilst he sits and does nothing, he says that I am being selfish and denying the kids a holiday!

OP posts:
Nanny0gg · 20/07/2019 12:11

Q1 Why is he spending your money too?

Q2 Why are you with him?

user87382294757 · 20/07/2019 12:11

YANBU. Maybe book a week away with a friend and leave him to go camping with the DC?

PotteringAlong · 20/07/2019 12:14

5 overseas holidays?! No no no.

As an aside, are they all to the same place? 2nd family?

F2Feee · 20/07/2019 12:18

Sounds very dodgy. I would have had a problem with the first one let alone 4. Seems like he doesnt like being around his family.

Sparky888 · 20/07/2019 12:19

Why not just book a lovely holiday that you do want? And book some extra ones too, to balance out his?

DMP123 · 20/07/2019 12:20

I'd book a holiday for myself and the kids then leave his ass!

Original poster
Homemadelife · 20/07/2019 13:23

@PotteringAlong no different places and all with his mates.

Sadly I do not have the funds to book any holidays without him as we have no savings so will have to go on his credit card.

I like the idea of holiday without him .....

OP posts:
PineappleSeahorse · 20/07/2019 13:26

I'd have a permanent holiday without him. He doesn't sound as though he contributes much to your life. He's behaving like he's a single guy when he has a family.

PineappleSeahorse · 20/07/2019 13:28

A permanent holiday from him.

MarthasGinYard · 20/07/2019 13:30

What a selfish twat

5 hols and you and his dc have none

Ugh vile

stucknoue · 20/07/2019 13:33

Last minute trip without him, he pays!

user1471444370 · 20/07/2019 13:34

We have an agreement that either of us can only have a holiday abroad without the kids if we can still afford to have one with them, he sounds very selfish. I'd be asking him for his credit card to book yourself a holiday for you and the kids and leave him at home.

funnylittlefloozie · 20/07/2019 13:34

If you work full-time, you have money. What would happen if you put your foot down and insisted on a proper family holiday abroad this year? 3 days' camping when Dad gets 4 abroad holidays is pathetic.

thetimekeeper · 20/07/2019 13:35

How are your finances set up then?

CalmdownJanet · 20/07/2019 13:37

Well if you are putting holidays on credit cards you cannot afford them, but if you can't then he can't. He is using family money for all of this and you have no savings? He is massively taking the piss

HollowTalk · 20/07/2019 13:40

Just when I think I've read all the selfish-man threads, another comes along.

I'm with those who would go for a permanent holiday without him. I can't believe that someone as selfish about possessions and holidays would be a really good guy about everything else. Someone who can look their kids in the eye several times a year and tell them he's going on holiday and they're not going with him is a fucking disgrace.

Normandy144 · 20/07/2019 13:40

If you both have a week booked off in August then research some options and then get it booked. Don't settle for camping.

Regarding his other 4 holidays, how long are they for? Are we talking week long trips or long weekends? It does seem very unbalanced, especially id there is no money for a family holiday, but i don't understand how it has got to this. Don't you discuss these things together?

Yeahnahmum · 20/07/2019 13:42

I vote permanent holiday from him too.
This is not a husband op. This is a single man living together with you in a house

Shoxfordian · 20/07/2019 13:44

He doesn't seem like he even wants to have a family

Anotherusefulname · 20/07/2019 13:45

Just looking at your title I came on to say I can't imagine wanting to have a holiday without my DH and find it bizarre that people do. We get limited holiday time why on earth wouldn't you want to spend it with your favourite person. (if DH wasn't your favorite person I wouldn't be married to him).
However reading your post your DH sounds a selfish man and I probably wouldn't want to go anywhere with him.

IceCreamAndCandyfloss · 20/07/2019 13:45

Why are you letting him spend your money on things for just him?

I wouldn’t be putting a holiday in a credit card though, going into debt for a luxury when there are children doesn’t seem wise.

Bodear · 20/07/2019 13:47

I think this comes down to finances. If he has money for solo trips then so should you. If you don’t then you need to reorganise your family spending.
How are they currently organised?

theunrivalledjoysofparenting · 20/07/2019 13:47

Why are you spending your money on things for him and letting yourself and your dc go without?

I'd have a permanent holiday from him and ask him to leave. What a selfish waste of space.

Quartz2208 · 20/07/2019 13:48

He is one of the worse selfish hobby men I have read about on here why on earth are you putting up with it

WishingILivedOnAnIsland · 20/07/2019 13:48

Why are you still with him? What are his redeeming qualities OP?

Do not go camping if you won't enjoy it.

How are your finances set up?

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