regarding what my partner said around my daughter

[waterfall29]

My partner and I have been together for 5 years. I have a daughter from a previous relationship who is six years old, I have a very amicable relationship with her dad and his partner who is great with her. Last night I was waiting for her dad to pick my daughter up, due to his job this can be anytime on a Friday when he has finished work. He has her for a weekend, every other week. There has been the odd occasion in which he has gone away at the last minute on his weekend socially and my daughter hasn't seen him. and then in the next sentence complains about how lucky I am to have more time with our daughter (this is relevant).

My partner has been in my daughters life for three years and is great with her. He does everything he can for her. He sits and builds with her, takes her to and from her activities, school work etc, never had any concerns.

Last night we were waiting for her dad to pick my daughter up when he he mumbled along the lines of 'if he so bothered about time with you, he would have been here by now'. My daughter thankfully didn't hear but I had. I asked him to repeat what he said after I closed the door on my daughter and he said I am sorry I shouldn't have said that it was out of order. I said that he was bang out of order and what if my daughter had heard that. He told me to leave it and that it was an obvious accident. So carried on as normal, until her dad picked her up shortly after 19.00. I haven't really spoken to him since as I can't shake the fact that he said that. He knows how I feel and we have discussed this from the beginning, that I cannot tolerate behaviour that will impact my daughter. That her daddy and I are not together but there is no animosity and i don't ever want my daughter thinking there is.

For context, he has a teenage daughter and I said to him last night despite all of the issues from his ex partner, I could not imagine making digs in front of his daughter. To me the children's welfare should first and foremost. He expects me to drop it as he didn't mean it to come out and that I am overreacting. But I can't help thinking about it and have not really spoken to him. AIBU to be upset ?

@Lizzielocket did you see my follow up point where I clarified that I didn't think ops DP was abusive?

Your partner has a point, OP, and I think on a subconscious level, you know that and perhaps feel defensive. You sound very lucky you have a man who loves you and loves your daughter as his own. And he makes the time to be with your daughter. Yet, your ex on occasions puts socialising before his daughter. That is not right.

I honestly don't understand what your problem is. Your partner was right in what he said, and I do feel it is justified for him to say that, given he spends time with your daughter as his own and as a man, understands that fatherhood is a serious commitment. Your daughter didn't hear what he said (which was well and truly justified and just the plain truth). So, what's the problem? Your partner is right imo and you are definitely being very unreasonable giving him the silent treatment. And all because he is a caring man who cares about your daughter. How do I write this constructively....wtf is wrong with you? Do you not realise what you have in this man? You should be thanking him, and grateful that he cares about your daughter. Ffs all he did was say the truth, why are you punishing him for that? Go to him, apologise for being a cow to him and wrap your arms around him. Feel grateful, because so many would just like their partner and kid to be in one room and get along.

You've got a diamond there, snap him up - marry him if you aren't already. You've got no idea just how lucky you are, show some gratitude to him!

^^
This!

twattymctwatterson I didn’t and I sincerely apologise. I don’t like claims of emotional abuse being bandied around, it insults the true victims of abuse.