To think people who have never suffered poor MH don't have a fucking clue?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I get that this probably applies to all manner of circumstances but MH is the one I'm familiar with.

I recently got an absolute roasting on here, was told I was failing my kids, accused of being a troll, had my account suspended etc.

Am I alone in thinking people with good MH take it for granted and are somewhat lacking in empathy for those of us less fortunate?

Only if they lack basic empathy. Which a lot of people appear to. I don't think it's helps that we are increasingly being encouraged to think of people other than ourselves as deserving bad things that happen to them. Immigrants, People with disabilities, homeless people and people with MH issues. Blame them all. If only they worked harder and tried a bit more, all their problems would be solved

Yep. Usually goes hand in hand with them not realising it isnt the 70s anymore

I understand the point you are making but I doubt there are many people around who have never suffered from poor mental health. You have no idea what other people have been through.

Yabu.
That’s a huge generalisation.

I sincerely believed that I did have a good understanding of MH difficulties and have / do support many colleagues and some family members with MH conditions. However, until I experienced by own sudden MH problems, I didn’t realise the all pervasive and engulfing effects. I absolutely took my own MH for granted so YANBU in that aspect of your post but I was empathetic towards others. I will never take my MH for granted again.

I think unless you have suffered MH issues, or have been close to someone who has, itis almst i possible to imagine how overwhelming they can be.
I have had depression all my life since my teens- it is much better now and much less frequent in spells and I see it coming and know what to do. However, the first few times it happened it absolutely took me over. It influenced everything in my life. I recall a summer spent shut in the house on a sofa in a darkened room most days- no tv on or anything, just feeling totally numb and unable to do anything. I watched a pair of shoes on the floor and every day thought I would put them away and just could not do it. The despair of that summer will never leave me completely.
Now I know what to do, I have not had a serious episode of it for about 10 years but have had times I have needed medication. It was diagnosed by a psychiatrist as clinical depression and despair. People think it is 'feeling a bit down'- it so is not!

I think applies to anything that you haven't personally experienced though....cancer, homelessness, stillbirth, life-changing injury, winning the Lottery...

And even if you have experienced it, one individual's view is just that...one individual's view. We're all different.

Am I alone in thinking people with good MH take it for granted and are somewhat lacking in empathy for those of us less fortunate?

YABU to make sweeping generalisations.

I'm very fortunate to have good MH. My dearest friend suffers terribly with hers and believe me I empathise. I try every day to do my bit to make anything I can easier for her.

But why shouldn't people give you a break because of MH problems? Or at least empathise that maybe because of your MH problems you don't process things the same way as 'most people'.

I've seen time and time again on here pregnant women almost getting a free pass because they're pregnant. Why does pregnancy get a break and not MH?

It saddens me that MH STILL has a stigma attached to it, that I should 'woman up' and deal with the unending shit that seems to fall my way.

I did say in my OP that it applies to anything really, but MH is what I have experience of. I'd never presume to tell a cancer patient how to act, because I have no fucking experience of having cancer.

Maybe there are a small minority of people who 'get it' but in my experience they are exactly that...a minority.

I have genuinely never suffered with bad mental health.

My closest friend has borderline personality disorder, PTSD and depression. I don't think she'd be friends with me if I had no empathy. My mother also suffers with depression and has been on medication on and off for it her whole life.

I don't pretend I understand what they go through because I can't possibly but I like to think I am supportive.

I remember your thread but I don't remember what it was about. I remember someone asking you about your name.

What did you post to receive abuse.

People don't post abuse simply because you say you have MH issues. There must have been way more to it.

MN is incredibly dismissive about anxiety. Many MNetters seem to think it's only ever used as an excuse and don't understand how genuinely debilitating it can be.

OP was it you who had a 6 year old saying they didn't feel safe?

I don't know about there being a stigma about mental health. I believe that most of the problems that sufferers have is that it isn't necessarily obvious that they have this illness and also there must be a huge variant in degrees which makes it difficult for a non sufferer to understand. Unfortunately like anything in life, there will always be the people that exaggerate their illness too.

Why are you assuming that the people who gave you a hard time on here have good mental health though? Maybe they have their own mental health problems & by your own reasoning, you should therefore give them a break & be more empathetic towards them. They might be suffering more than you.

@MissingTheMissletoe
Did you mean to be so rude?

Part of the manifestation of my personality disorder is thinking everyone else will react the way I do to things, which I guess could come across as a lack of empathy, but it's not. And black and white thinking. If I came across a thread where the OP was obviously struggling I would never stick the knife in or try and make them feel worse about themselves. My mistake is in assuming that anyone with a MH condition would do the same. Or that it's only people without a MH condition who would do this. Gah it's a minefield. I just wish everyone would be a bit kinder and a bit gentler with others-after all, none of us really know what's going on with anyone else.

I always empathised with anyone struggling with MH but it wasn't until I was diagnosed with PND that I realised I hadn't got a clue what it meant to have a mental illness and that what I thought was empathy for MH was not!
I get what you are saying OP but in my experience people try and understand and empathise but it's not always what I need when my MH is bad. They do try but it's how I receive it that determines if I find them sympathetic or not

I wish everyone fortunate not to have poor MH would experience just one day of how many of us feel day after day after day ad nauseum, that saying about walking a mile in someone else’s shoes would mean a whole heap more empathy and understanding

I get what you are saying, but I also have a problem with people using their mental illness as a get-out clause constantly.

I have family members who have had mental health problems
I haven't.
Not ever
I have been sad when sad things happened, but never depressed.
If I said I knew what it was like, my family members and, I suspect you, would say, as you just have, that I dont have a fucking clue
However, though I am unable to truly empathise, I can sympathise, a word that has become deeply unfashionable.
So you are right. I dont understand.
But then you probably cant understand 'good' mental health either.
We can only truly understand things we have experienced.
Doesnt make one better than the other and we all have to play the hand we are dealt.
That being so, I dont understand what your point is.

I am so with you on this op. My own health has been affected by supporting my teenage dd with her mental health . she has been unwell for nearly 3 years and it's awful to see how other kids treat her. The girls at school have been hideous. The boys will look out for her and help her if she is struggling but the girls will quite literally turn their backs to her. It breaks my heart. They have no idea what she goes through everyday to be stood in school.

I get what you are saying, but I also have a problem with people using their mental illness as a get-out clause constantly.

You really have no idea why someone may need to get out of something. Proves the Op's point perfectly.