To think people who have never suffered poor MH don't have a fucking clue?

[MyGastIsFlabbered]

I get that this probably applies to all manner of circumstances but MH is the one I'm familiar with.

I recently got an absolute roasting on here, was told I was failing my kids, accused of being a troll, had my account suspended etc.

Am I alone in thinking people with good MH take it for granted and are somewhat lacking in empathy for those of us less fortunate?

Personality disorders are misunderstood by many professionals, let alone people who have no experiekce of it, let alone strangers on a thread.

The problem with mental health and probably personality disorders is that it is hard to know whether it's the disorder that makes people act the way they do or who they are as a person. Like any illnesses, you can have someone with a personality disorder who is a very nice person just as you can have someone with a personality disorder who is nast or rude independently of their illness.

The best way to get respect is to be open about how your illness affects you.

My experience is the least emphatic people have been those with a mental health diagnosis, especially when it comes to taking medication.

@MissingTheMissletoe I’ve not seen any of OPs previous posts so can’t comment on that.

Woah MissingTheMistletoe where have I acted like an 'entitled bitch'? That's uncalled for.

@DrPeppersPhD been off them for a while now, by your reckoning my MH issues give me a free pass though right?

Massive unfair sweeping generalisation.

This is the Internet, some people are twats. If you are of fragile mind, AIBU probably isn’t the place to post.

I’ve no idea what happened with your other post but it must have contained red flags for something or other as from what I see, MNHQ have form for letting obvious troll posts stand or deleting and blaming troll hunters on blatantly obvious troll posts. If the suspended the account in error, and you are satisfied you are on the level, I’m not sure what more you want out of it. Or are you suggesting everyone registers MH issues with MNHQ and are then given a free pass to post as they wish?

I get what you are saying, but I also have a problem with people using their mental illness as a get-out clause constantly.
I agree with this but would say it’s more that people seem to use MH as a reason/excuse for anything not going right, or a thread not going their way and in many of those situations I suspect there aren’t actually any MH issues at all.

@MissingTheMissletoe I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about, and I'm not prepared to discuss a deleted thread. And I massively resent your use of the phrase 'IF you have a personality disorder'. You've obviously got a bee in your bonnet and I'm fucked if I know what I've done to deserve it. I'm going to take a PP's advice and hide this thread now as I'm not going to be your punchbag.

@MissingTheMissletoe
No, actually, you and I agree that MH issues don't allow you to be a bitch.

TBH I think if you want an internet discussion with people who do have a clue about mental health issues, it might be better to do it on a more specialist forum.

AIBU is a bit like a packed pub in a sense.

I'm sure you wouldn't walk in the door, discuss your MH issues with all the strangers there and expect all of them to 'have a clue'.

Some will because they'll either have MH issues themselves or they'll live with a family member who does.

But many obviously won't.

I don’t think we should blame anyone for not suffering a health condition. Blame those people who don’t try to be understanding yes, but don’t make sweeping generalisations about anybody just because they haven’t got the same health condition you have

Aah.. I’ve just twigged..

I’m not the only MNetter that has seen your previous posts.

I’m with you on that.

I remember there being another thread but not what it was about.

I feel like a huge chunk of back story is missing here

I'm in two minds about this OP. I totally agree with you that people who have never had MH problems have zero clue what it's like. How constant it is. How exhausting the battle. How demoralising it is when they think you aren't making an effort when every inch cell in your body is pulsing with effort just to stand upright and not howl out loud, or not crawl back under the duvet for a week. That effort is massive and leaves no energy at all to sort out the house or chase up ten things you should have done last week.

But at the same time, I feel I have no right whatsoever to demand special attention or compensation for my illness. A bit of sympathy would be nice, but I don't think mental illness is an excuse for poor and over-demanding behaviour, certainly never an excuse for cruelty and neglect.

I was going to ask if you had bpd and here, you do. Mh issues are very common but as a pp said some people do use mh issues as a stick to beat others with. Others act in ways that are harmful or abusive to others because of mh issues. I have a close relative with bpd who was very abusive to her children but never took responsibility for her behaviour. She maybe did have less control over her behaviour but she could control it but chose not to.

I can’t really comment on your thread cos I didn’t read it but you don’t get a free pass to abuse others cos you have mh issues.

Most of us have had mental heath issues but we choose not to dwell on it.

In case anyone hasn’t noticed, the op is now in flouncers’ corner.

It’s hard when you don’t have a mental illness (not a personality disorder) after a while, I’ll be honest.

When people have depression or anxiety, the way they frame the world seems very illogical and catastrophic. Everything is bad, things are never going to change and they constantly berate themselves

If I’m brutally honest, I find it tiring and a downer.

I can have empathy, but again, honestly, it can get wearing as empathy makes absolutely no difference

@PurpleDaisies 😆

@DrPeppersPhD that’s exactly what I mean. If OPs other thread wasn’t deleted perhaps you’d understand why I’m so mad that now she’s jumped on to try and justify how she behaves as MH issues. MH doesn’t excuse people acting in that way. More background information is what’s needed but you’re not allowed to discuss deleted threads (as far as I know, if I’m wrong please do correct me on this.), and OPs sudden declaration that people should be more sensitive with those that have MH issues is a huge slap in the face to those of us who have experienced them. She’s no right whatsoever to use MH issues as a get out of jail free/excuse my behaviour card. I’ll never presume to know your circumstances but if you have experienced MH problems you know that you need to take accountability for your own actions, that owning your mistakes and holding your hands up and saying that you acted shitty is the right thing to do because anyone who’s ever experienced negative or lack of emotions knows that they can be a right cunt when they’re at their worst. At my worst I screamed at a lollipop man for jokingly threatening to kill my kids if they were late to school again. He wasn’t to know that I had family based OCD and my kids being killed by someone on the street was my worst obsession and my OCD certainly didn’t exempt me from that behaviour. I was disgusting in my behaviour that day and I fully deserved to be held accountable for it. So does OP, regardless of her MH.

@MyGastIsFlabbered for your own MH wellbeing may I suggest you stop using internet forums altogether

I've never suffered in any way with poor mental health, so ..... you're probably right: I don't have a fucking clue

However, I'd like to understand so would be absolutely prepared to listen to those people who have in order that I might go at least a tiny way towards understanding.