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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To share on facebook or not?

85 replies

owlettafeather · 18/07/2019 22:34

I've been unwell and in intensive care for just over a week. Obviously, close friends and family know, but there are a number of people who dont have a clue.

I don't tend to share huge amounts of detail on facebook, and don't want to seem like one of those attention seekers checking into hospital, but it would be an easy way to let people know in bulk.

Would you put news like this on facebook, or is it impossibly crass?

OP posts:
Strawberrypancakes · 18/07/2019 22:36

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Siennabear · 18/07/2019 22:36

Why would you want to?

TrickyKid · 18/07/2019 22:39

Just message the people who need to know. I wouldn't. put it in fb but I don't put personal stuff on there full stop.

FlyingElbows · 18/07/2019 22:39

No I wouldn't and I really can't see any reason to. Your actual friends and family know, that's everyone that needs to. However, that's just me, you do you.

ethelfleda · 18/07/2019 22:41

No, I definitely wouldn’t.
Hope you’re recovering Flowers

7salmonswimming · 18/07/2019 22:41

Why do you want people to know?

Boom45 · 18/07/2019 22:59

I use FB to keep people that I don't get to see as often as I'd like updated on stuff in my life - new jobs, pregnancy, house moves, fabulous holidays (rainy weekends in Cromer).
However when I was in intensive care I didn't put it on. It wasn't something I fancied talking about on Facebook and it also wasn't the sort of thing anyone could possibly get annoyed at me for not telling them! I think I put something mundane on about drinking coffee in the park when I was back up and about so people who knew I'd been in hospital, but I hadn't been in touch with knew I was feeling better.

bee222 · 18/07/2019 23:02

I wouldn't. The people that matter will know.

WorraLiberty · 18/07/2019 23:08

I wouldn't personally.

I would have thought anyone who needs to know, will do by now.

BitchyArriver · 18/07/2019 23:08

If you do, be prepared for an onslaught of ‘are you okay hun’ messages. Are you able to deal with that from your uncles partners friend etc?

Eliza9919 · 18/07/2019 23:10

Why does everyone need to know you've been in hospital?

The ppl that matter know so I wouldn't.

pictish · 18/07/2019 23:14

No. I wouldn’t. But that’s just me personally.

IHeartKingThistle · 18/07/2019 23:20

Against the grain but I would! I'm not someone who posts every time they breathe or anything, and I don't post to say I have a cold, but I would post something about something like that. I was rushed to hospital last year and when I was out and OK I did post. I live in quite a close-knit community and I did get some comfort afterwards knowing that people knew I wasn't 100% and not snubbing them or anything without having to explain it loads. And people were very kind.

I could have predicted that on MN the idea would be shot down but I think many many people post about significant events like that.

NoSauce · 18/07/2019 23:22

I wouldn’t personally but then I don’t post private stuff on FB. Could you send a mass text to the people you want to know?

CalmdownJanet · 18/07/2019 23:22

God no don't put it on fb. Why do people need to know?

user1471449295 · 18/07/2019 23:25

Dear God please don’t.

REllenR · 18/07/2019 23:26

I would if you want to talk about it. I don't like cryptic messages but if you are feeling like talking about it go for it. It may open some doors of additional people willing to help.

Cocolapew · 18/07/2019 23:26

I don't see the harm in it, it's not as if it's a vague check in to hospital post for attention.
I hope you're recovering well Flowers

JoxerGoesToStuttgart · 18/07/2019 23:30

If they don’t already know then they’re not close to you and clearly didn’t need to know. So why would you want to tell them? Why do they need to know you were ill?

ConfCall · 18/07/2019 23:31

A factual status among the lines of, “I am in hospital with X illness but I’m on the mend” is ok. Just saying “in hospital” with a sadface emoji or likewise, will seem cryptic and attention-seeking and will encourage the U OK Hun? brigade and irritate the rest.

HappyInMyCave · 18/07/2019 23:31

I would just send a few private messages to friends who you would like support from.

I don't think it is a good platform for news like that.

quizqueen · 18/07/2019 23:54

Why anyone puts anything personal on the internet for all the world to see is beyond me!!

Greenolivesorblackolives · 19/07/2019 00:00

I wouldn’t, but I don’t share anything on fb. People are surprised when they see me out and about with a 13 month old baby because I never shared that I was having a baby.

Toffeecakes · 19/07/2019 00:08

It all depends on who you actually have on Facebook as friends, if most people on there are genuine friends I would but if there are also loads of people who you don’t really know then I’d probably not. As an alternative I’d maybe do a big group message to the people you’re actually friends with.

However, sometimes it’s nice to know that people care and especially in situations like this. When I see people putting things about hospital on Facebook I always respond, it’s nice to know that people care and hospital can be such a lonely and scary place. I don’t really view hospital check ins as attention seeking, more just people needing a bit of support and that’s not something I mind doing. I’m glad I can support someone.

With all the raised awareness about mental health and loneliness I don’t think it’s fair to call people attention seeking for reaching out to their ‘friends’ on Facebook, if it helps someone to feel less alone or isolated then that’s an amazing resource that people haven’t had in the past.

Sunshine93 · 19/07/2019 00:11

no i wouldnt. The people who need to know know