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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To share on facebook or not?

85 replies

owlettafeather · 18/07/2019 22:34

I've been unwell and in intensive care for just over a week. Obviously, close friends and family know, but there are a number of people who dont have a clue.

I don't tend to share huge amounts of detail on facebook, and don't want to seem like one of those attention seekers checking into hospital, but it would be an easy way to let people know in bulk.

Would you put news like this on facebook, or is it impossibly crass?

OP posts:
taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 00:13

Absolutely not. But being in hospital isn't something I would want to tell people. I got taken in and kept for a few days last month and I told no one. The only people who knew were my DH and kids.

SD1978 · 19/07/2019 00:20

It's your choice. I wouldn't. I still have FB 'friends' that don't know I have a child- because they are not in my day to day life and therefore don't need to.

Snidpan · 19/07/2019 00:26

I put EVERYTHING on FB, go for it

IHeartKingThistle · 19/07/2019 09:37

Some people on here are saying how private they are like it's a virtue. It isn't, actually. There's a huge difference between making connections and reaching out, and attention-seeking. If you don't understand why someone might want to post on FB, it doesn't make you a better person.

I like sharing things on FB and I like seeing what other people are up to. If one of my friends shared that she'd been in hospital I'd be glad to know that she may need a bit of extra support.

I also enjoy looking through my FB memories, even the negative ones.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 09:44

Some people on here are saying how private they are like it's a virtue.

Eh? I answered the question. That is all.

Weirdpenguin · 19/07/2019 09:51

It depends how you phrase it. It's the facebook posts that just say "In hospital" with no explanation and a sad face that are attention seeking. When you start to feel better a post to say that you have been in XX hospital for xx weeks and are now on the mend and thanking the staff etc would be fine. The replies that say "I never post anything personal on fb" have a flavour of superiority about them.

AuntyMarysBigRedPants · 19/07/2019 09:54

I wouldn't post anything either

Crunchymum · 19/07/2019 10:07

Depends.

How much are you wanting to share? Are you prepared for people to ask questions? Are you up for the scrutiny / nosiness?

I only use FB for a few groups related to my child's medical condition (don't even have my family and real life friends as FB friends) so I wouldn't dream of it.

purplecorkheart · 19/07/2019 10:34

Would not do that in a million years. Once my immediate family knows that is all I care about.

B3ck89 · 19/07/2019 10:36

Why can’t you create a group chat?
Must admit I despise hospital check ins

purplecorkheart · 19/07/2019 10:38

Do the people who don't know actually need to know? Why?

Jeezoh · 19/07/2019 10:38

I wouldn’t do it on Facebook, I’d just private message/email anyone I felt needed to know but didn’t already.

AllStar14 · 19/07/2019 10:49

I was recently in hospital for an op and, although I didn't check it, I did post on Facebook once I was home to thank everyone who helped with the dc etc. I don't think there's anything wrong with posting, I actually think it's quite sad that you feel you have to ask if yabu! Post your status and get well soon Flowers

OccidentalPurist · 19/07/2019 15:54

I can see why you'd want to post on Facebook if you're weak from being in IT, as it's so much easier than messaging, so why don't you give that reason when you post. I assume it's just text and no photo.

BykerBykerOoh · 19/07/2019 15:58

I sent a private group message to anyone local when my dd was in hospital with a list of practical help needed. People were amazingly kind and helpful.

Pinktinker · 19/07/2019 15:58

Nope, just looks attention seeking. Everyone who is important already knows.

Laiste · 19/07/2019 16:01

A neighbor of mine reports every bloody fart and burp she has on FB.

Status - just ate a banana [photo of the skin]

Righto. Hmm

Not suggesting you're straying quite into that territory OP, but ... i don't know, not everything needs to go on FB.

Bignicetree · 19/07/2019 16:08

I can’t think of a single reason to post on FB

Wishing you a speedy and full recovery

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 19/07/2019 16:12

Of course I would.

If people are not interested, they are free to scroll down. Those who are interested will know. Keep it casual (just to let you know I've in in intensive care for a week), and avoid the "checking at x hospital" and replying "I PM hun" every time someone comments with a question.

Why wouldn't people want you know?! It's your friends and family, people are concerned. If you email or whatsap direct, you put them on the spot, and they will feel obliged to reply and possibly get involved.
On social media, they have the choice to ignore, and pretend they haven't see it.

No one is superior because they keep things "secret" from their friends, even if they feel smug about it. Tell or not, but it's a weird attitude, unless you think you have to add a ridiculous number of "friends" on FB that you don't even know in real life.

thesunwillout · 19/07/2019 16:20

Ikwym op, I had a literally life saving and dangerous operation last year, and I just posted what had happened to have ended up in hospital.
I just needed to reach out, as it meant I might not be 'me' again for a while.
I made a short post, with a few jokes in it.
I was pondering whether to bother at all, as I have very few contacts on Facebook, but I knew some people who I cared about and vice versa would want to at least know.

I was glad to receive support x

Coffeeisnecessary · 19/07/2019 16:21

Its a big life event to be in hospital and possibly something you might want to talk about with others at a later stage so I would, also if you get loads of messages it will keep you busy replying which will help with the boredom!

SpuriouserAndSpuriouser · 19/07/2019 16:28

I don’t see anything wrong with posting a quick status to explain that you’ve been in hospital with xyz and are recovering well. It’s the quickest way to get the information out, and saves you having to explain it all over and over again when you should be focussing on getting better.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 17:10

Its a big life event to be in hospital

Some people must have the stalest lives if that's a big event.

WhenOneFacePalmDoesntCutIt · 19/07/2019 17:19

Some people must have the stalest lives if that's a big event.

Confused what kind of comment is that? Are you trying to be strangely smug and superior about something?!?

most people's life - luckily - doesn't revolve around hospitals and stays in intensive care. Even patients with very serious medical conditions still see their hospital stays as a big event.

taylorowmu · 19/07/2019 17:36

what kind of comment is that? Are you trying to be strangely smug and superior about something?!?

God no, absolutely not. I have nothing to be smug or superior about. I just don't think it's a life event for Facebook.