I know IABU but can I just say here....

[BadBadBadPerson]

(because I cannot say it anywhere else) - primary school plays can be utterly shite!

Just sat through two hours of too long Yr5/6 school production.

Each child is/was wonderful. And truly I think this - (used to volunteer there so I know a lot of them personally). And I know it is hard work to put on. Some spoke/sang/acted better than others. Everyone tried hard. It was a great team effort. Most smiled. They all had a lovely time. Etc etc. Yes. Agreed.

But OMFG as a whole event....urghhhhhh. Shite.

Not quite clear enough speaking by everyone to follow the play. Too long (12 scenes this delight had). Trying too hard to get every pun ever invented in. But puns only work if they are spoken clearly...otherwise they fall very, very flat. Trying to get every child on stage, even if just for one line. The hall wayyyy too hot. The sound effects tooo loud.

And then at the end everyone saying how wonderfully marvellous it was.

I know, I know I am a totally grumpy bitch.

Thank god this is DC3 and this is the last one I will ever, ever have to sit through. looks back resentfully at the 13 years of primary school plays I have smiling watched

Go ahead, tell me I am a total bitch...

Nothing worse than the annual Shakespeare play done by a primary school of 30 children. Truely an instrument of torture..

Nah - ours was pretty cool, we rent out a theatre for the productions and the kids practice so hard for it. We even have a half time ice cream like in the West End!

Omg....wait until your child decides to take up a musical instrument and you have to sit through school concerts for three years....

My mother was very nice about my concerts.

For music practice however, the scheduled time was every day before dinner whilst she was in the kitchen, and I was in a room with three doors shut between us. Which is apparently the perfect distance to hear your child’s music practice 😂

Thank God my years of school stuff isover.
My daughter was once in a Group performance at a scheduled time. I arrived to be told it was over! A woman turned around and said " Just tell her it was great." " It was ?" " Nah, usual shite".

I could barely bring myself to watch my own kids perform, never mind other peoples.

And the insincere bullshit from HT about the great school spirit. Where my son was bullied and he did nothing about it.

Grumpy old bag me.

Wait... Did you think it was supposed to be enjoyable? 😅

@PookieDo - I wonder if we are at the same school.... we did Joseph - It was absolutely terrible. The singing - either tone deaf or couldn't hear it. And really boring.

@Livelaughloveyuk

Haha maybe! It was so so bad but there was one child (dressed as Elvis during Joseph and the Technicolour Dreamcoat, makes perfect sense obvs) who was very funny

I liked young voices as I felt how much the DC loved doing it, it was a lovely thing to be a very small part of. I just enjoyed myself!

My sen ds bless him hated plays but I’d have to go and watch or be consumed with mum guilt. 2 hours watching other people’s kids and my son wearing ear defenders rocking in a corner.

I am in vehement agreement with every word you wrote OP! Those days are behind me but I do not miss my buttocks going numb on a plastic chair as I stare at an endless school production wondering how I will ever get the tedium out of my head.

Shorter the better for these things as far as I am concerned, but you do feel a grinch for even hinting this in publice.

So glad I am not the only one!
My youngest has just left primary and my DH and I did a little jig that that was the last boring "school shite " we had to sit through . I am so glad there are others that feel that way 🙈
Don't even get me started on dress up days 😂😂

I usually agree but I have to say, the production of 'The Tempest' that was put on by DS's school when he was in yr 5 was fantastic. It was written for children with a mix of Shakespearean English (in the songs) and normal English though.

It really was good, with lots of well sung bits and funny bits and mostly lots of clear speaking and I say this as the parent whose child (was playing the jester' ) froze at one point and ran off the stage upset!!. He did come back for his later lines thankfully.

All the children were then taken to see an open air production of the 'real' Tempest following this and they all enjoyed it and could follow the story, despite the Shakespearean language used in it.

I was really really impressed, though it was the highlight in several years of pretty dire productions

We’ve had a couple of good ones but the last one was dire.

I can’t stand forced children’s choirs. You know the ones where they have shoved a class together into a ‘choir’... there’s always a handful of children who hate it so barely sing and then there’s the others who have been told that they’re wonderful so they just shout rather than sing! It makes me want to stick my head in a bucket!

@PookieDo It must be!!!!! Unless it part is the syllabus for every school?! I forgot about Elvis who, actually, was amazing!!!!

My DD2 and DD3 took part in a 'music from the musicals' extravaganza yesterday. It was really bloody long. The PA system was horrible (DP is an acoustics nerd so I know more about it than I want to!), one teacher had clearly put way more effort in than every other teacher so her class was by far the best. Parents couldn't see the children, hall was boiling and the head spent twenty minutes thanking the staff at the end.

My DDs were freaking adorable though.

I don't miss is. I remember DS's school had one child who the music teacher seemed to adore. Every year this child and her violin were brought out to play an excruciating five minute out of tune solo.

Obviously I felt for her parents more, they had to put up with it at home too.

I find concentrating on blinking as slowly as possible gets me through, just

I thoroughly enjoyed my DC’s nativity last Christmas but it was the first school play I really enjoyed. They did Christmas through the ages so had some children dressed in WW2 gear, some in 60/70/80s clobber, some 90s as well and they sung Christmas songs from each era. It was ruddy fantastic.

The other plays I have seen have been pretty bad. I only go to see my child really, I’m sure everyone does but you obviously have to then sit through a further hour or whatever of other people’s. Same with Sports Day.

What I don't understand is the parents who buy the dvds of the plays. I look at these people and wonder what they are thinking. Are they really going to watch it again? And the ones who record it on their phones. I'd say enjoy it the first time but that's difficult enough as the word 'enjoy' isn't what anyone is doing.

@Livelaughloveyuk well if you ever fancy re living it we have a super low quality low sound £15 DVD

wich The DVDs are for absent grandparents and for entertaining the kids on a wet afternoon while you cook hide in the kitchen. For some reason, the children don’t find them excruciating. Yet.

@wichitalinemanswoman

It was my DD’s last play and the last ever one both would be in together. So that’s why I bought one

I hope at her wedding reception we can play her section on a giant projector and the £15 will finally be worthwhile

Even as a grandparent though I think I'd be more than happy to give the DVD a swerve

Honestly, I'd just like to hear them sing a few songs. There's no need for these great productions. I don't believe that they are beneficial enough for all 90 children to warrant the endless massively boring practise time after SATs.

*practice. Phone auto corrected it and I can't leave it.