AIBU stepsons lunches

[Scorpiovenus]

My step son came over again this sunday with just a jam sandwich to last all day, and it really was a poor jam sandwich. Also it was semi cold sunday and she sent him with shorts and t shirt nothing else so we couldn't take him outside as he was getting to cold. Hes 7 btw. I had to lend him some shorts of mine that were about 6 sizes too big lol. Did look funny but why does she send the little boy with nothing?

I'm not allowed to make him dinner as she feels roast dinners and proper meals like gammon and chicken means with potatoes etc are not good for him, She had a meltdown once as i gave him some raspberries, Probably more me she is getting at here.. i let it go but cant even feed him real food. Don't know how to moan about it as I feel sorry for the boy tbh. Silent grudge I never tell DP. But he don't have the balls to say to the ex that she needs to send him with food if she wont allow us to feed him. Otherwise if I did feed him, the partner will get loads of abuse and threats to not see his little boy.

Don't let the boy go back.

(If this is even real.)

Or would that inconvenience your abusive, complicit boyfriend?

This is either not true or there's more to it.
I am baffled.

The poor child.

OP, your partner needs to step up and look after his son!

Is this for real? If you look after your step child’s basic needs I.e. feeding him, she will stop you from seeing him? Ridiculous.

Feed him, clothe him. If she threatens anything, I’d let her take you to court gladly!

You couldn’t take him outside?
Your pathetic boyfriend doesn’t even has a coat for his son at his house?
What do you see in him again?

This can’t be real.

If it is, what a sorry state of affairs.

Who cares what her reaction is if you feed him whilst he’s with you?

The poor boy needs clothes and belongings of his own at your house so he feels at home when he’s visiting. Even just 3 or 4 outfits, some pyjamas and a few books/toys.

I would seriously question why your partner is allowing this to happen.

I had to lend him some shorts of mine that were about 6 sizes too big lol. Did look funny but why does she send the little boy with nothing?

She sounds abusive but you sound quite callous. Also, your DP is complicit in the abuse if he’s allowing his son to eat so little.

Your ‘lol’ is really inappropriate OP, this is a little boy who needs help.

Odd behaviour all round

Just buy him some warm clothes to keep at yours and feed him xx

Your DP needs to do the basics of parenting and feed and clothe his child. It doesn't get m7ch more basic than that

These days it's not hard to feed a child... i wonder why on Earth are you are questioning how to feed a 7 year old? And why your partner is not insisting that his child is fed properly when with you? Flipping heck!

When I said these days, I should have made it clear that I meant even if you zap something in the microwave for him... the mind boggles as to why (how???) she knows what you are feeding him when he is at yours... 🙄🧐

This boy is not being safeguarded, his mother is not appropriately caring for him, your DP is not by enabling her behaviour.

The poor thing knowing the people around him would rather see him cold and hungry than confront his mum and have an argument with her.

He is your DPs son - you should already have appropriate clothes, toiletries and food for him in your home, where his father lives.

This has made me so sad. Choosing to enable such poor parenting rather than having a difficult confrontation. Fuck sake.

Does he ha e allergies or health issues? Maybe she feeds him a big breakfast before dropping him, and then has a large dinner ready for him when home and in addition to the sandwich is allowed some other foods. There's got to be more to it than you're telling.

Please refrain from trollhunting on this (or any other) thread and just hit report post if you feel there is something we need to look into. Thanks.

Him just coming over in shorts and t shirts in July doesn't bother me (thats pretty much all my 8 year old wears from May till October - even when I make him take a coat/jumper hes taken it off as soon as he can)

With the food, unless there are food allergies/restrictions (if he is being brought up vegetarian I would abide by that - just wondering as your examples she wont let him have both contain meat) then just feed him what you are eating

You say your partner is worried she will stop contact if he is feeding the child - surely contact could be stopped as the father aren't meeting the childs needs when with him

If he came over in shorts anyway why did he need to wear your shorts??

All very strange. OP where have you gone?

Thought I recognised the OP from resurrecting a range of recent threads on the step parenting board. One treat of a comment was This is why I would never allow the step kid to live with us

Doesn’t scream compassion for a little boy who’s already being neglected his mum and dad

OP, just fucking feed and clothe him.

Yeah op was saying she wouldn't allow the dss to move in, or come on holiday.
Poor kid.

In light of that information - if it's real, this situation needs reporting @MNHQ. Every adult in this little boy's life is complicit in his abuse.

We had a situation once with DSD8 where she was sent with plenty of absolutely beautiful clothes but no coat for Feb half term. I stuck her in big sis’s hoodie and off we went to sainsburys for the food shopping where we just so happened to end up in the kids clothes aisle. Her being an 8 yo, she wanted all sorts of things, and jumper and coat just fell in the trolley 🤷🏻‍♀️ Could that be worth a try?

Foodwise, would think that if she trusts her son to be at your home, she should trust you to feed him?