WIBU - telling friend she's feeding her baby 'wrong'

[BarryMcguigan]

A friend I have drifted apart from (old work colleague no hard feelings or issues) has put up a pic of her just turned 6 months old sat in high chair with a big pile of blueberries- not cut in half or squashed. (I'm her instagram)

WIBU to private message saying it's best practice to cut them in half or is that really twatty of me?! I know she is going down the BLW route which I also did but the oic made me a bit nervous. My LO has done really well with BLW and I have no anxiety about this method at all - but followed best practice for grapes / blueberries etc.

Is she an Instagam Mum? Probably, she's shown them like that because they look nicer.

Private not public message though. And remind her she's mad to let anyone who may throw food blueberries too.

Yep twatty, don't do it

If you do word it in a light hearted way like ‘careful with those blueberries! My baby almost choked so I cut them in half’ as opposed to a lecturing ‘you’re supposed to cut those in half as it’s a choking hazard’. She may be embarrassed about her mistake and as it’s a open forum go gentle.

Just noticed you said you’d pm her. That’s the way to go.

And this has anything to do with you how?

I wouldn't if you don't talk to her anymore, it's very likely it was just for pics, but be careful to write something carefully and send it privately if you do. I can't see how it'd not come off as criticism if you don't talk much, but you can try to minimise it!

You could do it in a passive aggressive subtle way and comment with "oh I used to give my LO blueberries too - he/she absolutely loved them! I used to mash them up because I was worried about choking - mashed blueberries and a baby = mess like I've never seen!"

Or similar. She might take it as a hint.

Surely that's grapes, not blueberries? Ywb twatty imo.

Nope, would be twatty.

No matter how 'light hearted' you try and phrase it, messaging someone who no longer speak to about how they feed their baby is going to come across condescending and twatty.

I don't think you need to cut blueberries? They're too small to block the windpipe completely. Grapes are bigger.

I wouldn’t, it’s none of your business what she does with her baby. I never cut blueberries up, it did grapes, but they’re much bigger.

I wasn't aware it was blueberries, I thought it was just grapes because they are the exact size to block a windpipe. Blueberries are a different size, shape and texture

Blueberries don't turn up in any of the lists of most common choking hazards. Grapes yes, but blueberries are smaller and less rigid. At that age I'd squish them, but I'm not convinced its a big concern.

At six months its probably for the camera. I wouldn't get involved.

Are whole blueberries a choking hazard then? Grapes I can understand.

Never heard of cutting up blueberries!

Just leave it.

Since you no longer have a close relationship with her if you tell her it will come across as condescending. I'm not sure why it bothers you enough to say anything anyway, I'm sure she has it figured out, most parents are not stupid enough to give whole blueberries to babies and with the information available about BLW, she's probably well informed already.

If it was me, I'd me pretty annoyed that you were suggesting I don't know how to feed my baby and that you have more concern for my baby than I do

I bought blueberries didn’t need cut up as the skins would squish easily if caught so wouldn't cause blockage whereas heap skins as very firm so if block the windpipe there’s no change of them dislodging themselves. I always cut grape (still do!!) but never blueberries. If they were very large I might give them a little squish myself before leaving for dc to handle.

Blueberries are fine whole. It’s grapes and cherry tomatoes that need cutting in half.

Ffs auto correct “I thought..” and “grapes”

I'd PM her. You've got nothing to lose if you don't talk any more. If it were me I'd say it apologetically- I get really worried about babies eating things that could be choking hazards/ I've been advised that you need to squash or cut in half fruit like blueberries, grapes etc.
Then go effusive on what a gorgeous baby she has.

Blueberries aren’t a particular choking hazard? The slightest pressure squashes them flat

Two children later I had absolutely no idea cutting blueberries was the advice. Grapes I can understand because they can block airway. I don’t see how a blueberry is more of a choking hazard than a chunk of melon or apple? Surely if you are doing blw a whole blueberry is fine.

I never cut my twins blueberries, Justin left them whole. I did cut grapes and tomatoes into quarters though.