To ask what you think of drug use once somebody is a parent?

[Jessy111]

It's none of my business I know, but I'm interested in opinions.

A mum of two young children, aged around 6 and 18 months, has been 'recreationally' taking crack cocaine every so often to get high with another friend when the children are being looked after by either family or friends babysitting. I couldn't tell you whether she does it when the children are home but I would hope not.

During the week she works full time and appears to be a totally normal parent, the children appear clean and well cared for and she certainly doesn't 'look' or behave like a drug addict so unless you knew she was doing it you would never have guessed.

My opinion is that it's selfish, dangerous and irresponsible and if she isn't addicted now then she soon will be - I can't get to grips with how a mother of young children with a seemingly normal life and things going for her could be so irresponsible in her role as a parent.

I've also in the past known of other parents who 'recreationally' take drugs on nights out or gatherings in friends houses, taking cocaine and similar stimulants.

I'm from a place where this is sadly the norm in the circles I grew up in, but am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to move away and am fortunately no longer surrounded by people who think this type of behaviour is acceptable when you have children.

I'm very much live and let live in regards to recreational drug use that doesn't affect me personally but surely the line has to be drawn once you become a parent?

AIBU to think you shouldn't be doing drugs whatsoever when you become a parent? Do you think 'recreational' use is fine so long as the children aren't exposed to it?

NRTFT but how you can distinguish on ethical lines between illegal drugs and getting pissed up regularly?

Apart from getting in gaol?

Most of the people I know, including parents, use party drugs recreationally. But crack?? I can’t fathom how on earth anyone gets into crack recreationally, I wouldn’t know anyone who had it and I’m sure if I asked any of my friends if they had some they’d recoil and look at me like I had two heads.

Coke's such a shit drug anyway IMO.

People take it as it helps with insecurities and because it's very moreish (i.e. addictive).

But it's not exactly an amazing experience. It's not mind expanding. It makes people act like arrogant twats. (See the Tories, PR industry, the press etc etc)

Hanging round with people on coke is mindnumbingly boring IMO.

Sorry, not what you asked OP!

I found coke to be crap myself, unless mixed with booze at which point you're running the very real risk of dropping dead.

I can't judge anybody for enjoying party drugs when they have no responsibilities, but not when children dependent on you. That's frightening

how do you know that's what she's doing OP? you appear very knowledgeable about her methods

Yeah, not my bag. And yes, I'm a judgy cow but I would be unlikely to stay friends with someone like that for long.

Unfortunately I am, the person she's doing it with is a member of my family

Also somebody who works full time, doesn't appear to be somebody who takes drugs, but does.

The only positive is that family member doesn't have children of their own, otherwise I'd be worrying about them and not somebody else's.

I don't see any difference between someone taking MDMA on a rare occasion and doing something else mildly dangerous like riding a horse, though.

MDMA can be mind expanding, life affirming and therapeutic in a way coke can't really. (Same for psychedelics). I don't see anything wrong with parents doing something like that on a rare occasion.

(Disclaimer not something I've done in nearly 20 years! But more lack of opportunity than intent).

You should be worried about your family member. Crack is an awful addiction. I'd also be having a word with your family members about encouraging a mother to do this.

It's my cousin, and I am concerned, but unfortunately she is a law unto herself and doesn't take kindly to being advised on her lifestyle choices.

She believes she has a handle on her drug use and doesn't do it daily, because she holds down a job and keeps a nice home she thinks she's above addiction.

She refers to herself as a binger who is into all sorts not just crack. If you were to ask her about it she would laugh and say crack is only something she does every so often.

I do care for her but she's old enough to make her own choices and intelligent enough to know what she has to do. It's the children caught up in it all that really unsettles me, they're blameless.

I don't see any difference between someone taking MDMA on a rare occasion and doing something else mildly dangerous like riding a horse, though

seriously... maybe you have done too many drugs in the past to see how utterly ridiculous that statement is

I wouldn't take them as a role model!

@JoanMavisIcecreamGirl

There are very few “party drugs” which will kill or seriously harm you when used sensibly and safely. Deaths associated with MDMA stand at around 10 per year in the UK, and are virtually always caused by people double dosing and mixing different drugs together rather than inherent toxicity of one individual substance.

I have no problem with people who don’t want to take drugs. We all have free choice here. What I do have a problem with is the peddling of misinformation about substances which leads people to take them unsafely because they can’t get hold of information or are too scared to seek medical attention if they start to feel unwell for fear of the law.

I don't see any difference between someone taking MDMA on a rare occasion and doing something else mildly dangerous like riding a horse, though

seriously... maybe you have done too many drugs in the past to see how utterly ridiculous that statement is

Joan You say the poster has done drugs on fuck all evidence when it's common knowledge that horse riding has significant perils. Yet you say they are ridiculous. Would you like to explain why?

ComtesseDeSpair

Very well said

ComtesseDeSpair

I do appreciate that, but people still die and it just goes to show that people don't use them sensibly. I would bet theres many more people who don't use them sensibly who are lucky and don't die, its not to say that they wont be unlucky in future though.

Lets face it, you don't know what the fuck else gets mixed with it, and even if it doesn't kill you instantly whats to say its not taking years off your life?

I just think when you have children, you would be incredibly stupid to take any kind of drugs.

Joan You say the poster has done drugs on fuck all evidence when it's common knowledge that horse riding has significant perils. Yet you say they are ridiculous. Would you like to explain why?

fuck all evidence except she says she hasn't done it in 20 years which infers she did do it before then

horse riding has significant perils if you have no experience and don't know what you're doing or don't wear the right things

I would imagine less people die from horse riding incidents than drug related incidents tbh.

I would judge that yes. Even more so if children were around when they were taking of course but yes I'd still think badly of it.

I'm not arsed about parents having the occasional joint when their children aren't around but this is different by a long stretch.

Are you sure you mean crack or "just" cocaine?

To be honest, while I am not really into drugs I don't really see the difference between that and getting shit faced on alcohol. I don't think it necessarily foretells an inevitable slide into dependency.

I know far too many parents who do this, from the odd joint to full blown heroine addicts. I've witnessed the damage it can do. Currently watching a family member go down the slippery slope of never touching coke, to using it recreational to now giving up her job and sitting in the house doing it at 5 o'clock in the afternoon with her child playing in the next room.
I can't get too worked up about people who do it while their children aren't around, but I still don't agree with it.

Again it's definitely crack, a few years ago when the Mcat craze came in they were doing that aswell. I don't think Mcat is about anymore thankfully, but that was just as disastrous and I saw people get hooked with that and throwing their late teens down the drain.

From what I can gather based on other peoples experiences told to me, and being surrounded by alot of addicts in a small town, crack is dangerously addictive and I'm astonished she isn't already dependent.

I think recreational drug use is fine. I don't mean that every weekend though. If a parent goes out say once every few months and takes cocaine then I don't see an issue. But crack! Fucking crack! Major issue.

How would you feel @Morgan12 if your harmless coke had killed children and parents making its way to you? FFS people WAKE UP.

It’s appalling. Obviously.

I never said it was a harmless trade. Lots of other trades are also not harmless. Child labour probably made some of your clothes.

Also I'm one of many on this thread who said they see no issue with recreational cocaine use so don't see why you have singled me out.