To ask what you think of drug use once somebody is a parent?

[Jessy111]

It's none of my business I know, but I'm interested in opinions.

A mum of two young children, aged around 6 and 18 months, has been 'recreationally' taking crack cocaine every so often to get high with another friend when the children are being looked after by either family or friends babysitting. I couldn't tell you whether she does it when the children are home but I would hope not.

During the week she works full time and appears to be a totally normal parent, the children appear clean and well cared for and she certainly doesn't 'look' or behave like a drug addict so unless you knew she was doing it you would never have guessed.

My opinion is that it's selfish, dangerous and irresponsible and if she isn't addicted now then she soon will be - I can't get to grips with how a mother of young children with a seemingly normal life and things going for her could be so irresponsible in her role as a parent.

I've also in the past known of other parents who 'recreationally' take drugs on nights out or gatherings in friends houses, taking cocaine and similar stimulants.

I'm from a place where this is sadly the norm in the circles I grew up in, but am fortunate enough to have had the opportunity to move away and am fortunately no longer surrounded by people who think this type of behaviour is acceptable when you have children.

I'm very much live and let live in regards to recreational drug use that doesn't affect me personally but surely the line has to be drawn once you become a parent?

AIBU to think you shouldn't be doing drugs whatsoever when you become a parent? Do you think 'recreational' use is fine so long as the children aren't exposed to it?

Weekend spliff in the garden = no problem.

But CRACK?!

I dont think crack cocanine can be considered a recreational drug, its far too addictive for that, so i would be keeping a close eye and wouldn't hesitate in informing ss if i saw any changes.
I would really be judging this persons choices to be honest.

I think recreational drug use is fucking stupid at best no matter who you are, but I think parents doing it (including when their child is not there) is absolutely revolting. It absolutely colours my view of people when I find out they do it. You cannot be a responsible parent if you take drugs.

TBH I don't think getting shitfaced all the time is any better, but it is less likely to kill you instantly.

I'm not sure me reporting her to social services would do any good because I don't have proof that she's doing it so I could easily be labelled as a malicious reporter.

I think there are alot of people closer to the situation than I am who would be best to report if they felt it in the children's best interests.

I don't feel it's my place to get involved because she children are for the time being, being looked after properly.

Good update, hopefully her family will twig, I was going to suggest emailing the school as they close until September, it'll be obvious within a few months she is hooked.
It is a massive epidemic around here too.

I used to be addicted to crack, I was a teenager and was groomed by older drug addicts. I went into foster care and stopped smoking crack but did pills and coke instead. I then had a baby very young and stopped using drugs.

I know lots of mothers and fathers that use cocaine on the weekend. I think it's pretty shit parenting tbh. You use up all your serotonin, have suicide Tuesday and whatever you tell yourself, that Saturday gram of coke has an impact on your family. Crack will have a devastating impact, it gets hold of you to the point you've been up for 3 nights with no sleep and sold everything you can for more.

I could be a wreck head quite easily, I love drugs, but I wouldn't ever do that to my DC. I also love my job and could be drug tested anytime and sacked. I now and again get an itch to get off my head, but I put my life before that lifestyle now.

OMG the Peaches Geldof thing was horrific, and people think that's a one off or very rare, it sadly isn't. The reason her case made the news was obviously because she was famous, you dont hear about all the others that happen every day.

OP your friend is risking losing everything including her life. And no it's not the same as going out for a glass of wine with your mates. I'm out tonight I will probably have two gin and tonics,, I won't even be drunk. And I will be fine to get up early tomorrow walk the dog and look after my ds. Hardly the same as getting off my face on heroin.

@Lindellia Same

It’s despicable and I’d report it.

I never took a drug after I met DP then the DC arrived now I have the biggest reason to stay healthy, live as long as possible.

I think it’s fucking scummmy

Does she even realise HOW her drugs get to her?
She ought to pray to God her children don't get involved in county lines then, even if she's ok with other people's children being sucked in

Fizzypoo yours is exactly the attitude i have myself now i have children. I've never been addicted to crack thankfully, but I've took many drugs that quite frankly could have killed me and i'd never take that risk again now i have children. Well done for getting off it, and im sorry for what happened to you. Shitty shitty people

County lines dealing is a big problem in the area. There are tossers from Bristol, Manchester & Liverpool coming down and recruiting young locals to go about their business for them.

I reported one of these groups to the police because what they were doing was right on my door step but nothing was ever done about it.

Crack is not recreational. It steals your life. I was addicted for years. You end up spending every penny you get on it.
I've got a child now and will never touch it nor be around anyone who does ever again because I've seen so many people lose their children. It's an evil, evil thing.

It's selfish and wrong. What if she does become addicted, it doesn't have to happen overnight it creeps up. Doing it once a month turns to once a week and so on.

Plus she is looking after her children whilst on a comedown and probably been awake all night, wholly irresponsible.

I know "highly respectable" and professional people who do it here in Australia....crack cocaine too.

They were friends of DH's till' we found they were this way inclined. Their kids go to private schools too...loads of cash and they spend their money like this. I think it's absolutely disgusting.

As far as I know they've been doing it for at least a year and still managing to maintain their careers and life. How long before it goes downhill though?

This is not as a PP started a few beers and a cheeky joint at a party. Crack is not a recreational drug, ever weekend she is taking a very really chance of her children not having a mother by Monday morning, not to mention the people she will be getting it from. I have professional experience of crack users and it's unlikely she's just using at weekends or if she is that it will stay that way for long.

Even without kids, crack should be avoided.

A joint when the kids are in bed is one thing. Crack and smack destroy lives far too quickly.

@Jessy111 it was a long time ago now.

I don't think there is anything wrong with taking drugs if you only have yourself to worry about. If my DC start raving and doing a few pills I wouldn't lose my shit over it. But when you're a parent you have a responsibility, and that includes not having a heart attack and dying young because you mixed coke and booze every weekend for 'me time'. Its pathetic the amount of coke mums around atm thinking it's fine.

I don't see it the same as normal drinking. I go out and get quite pissed now and again. My DC are early teens, they can cope if I have a sofa day. My hangover is not the same as a come down.

Jesus. And the countless deaths that happen in order to get said drugs to the hands of UK users? No it's not ok and it's not a cheeky weekend beer equivalent. It's an industry that causes death and misery.

Crack is a highly addictive drug. You don't have to do it every day to get addicted.

Any parent who's taking crack on a regular basis needs help.

There's a huge difference depending on what kind of drugs a parent is taking IMO.

Something low risk like cannabis or MDMA / Ecstacy (which is very low risk despite media articles!) every so often is no different to booze IMO. Actually, statistically safer than booze IIRC.

But crack? No.

If I know about it, somebody who's not directly part of her friendship group, her close friends clearly know and it doesn't look like they're doing anything to encourage her to stop it. If they are then she's not taking any notice.

I feel so sad for her children because there's every chance they might not have their mum for much longer

Also, the person she's getting it from is a father himself with young daughters.

It's terrible how none of these people seemingly give a shit about the children involved.