DD has made me feel so hurt

[Motherwell91]

My dd (6) through a massive tantrum at bed tonight... Tears, screams hyperventilating the works. She kept saying she didn't feel safe and no one understand her and that she didn't want to live with us anymore. I have never felt so hurt. I had a hard upbringing with mental and physical abuse. So I've always tried hard to listen to my children and keep as healthy and happy household as possible. She was shouting and screaming so much are neighbour knocked on the door to check everything was okay. I'm mortified by this. She offered to speak to her as heard her state she wanted to speak to someone who understands. Am I overthinking that she needs to go talk to someone or see the gp or is this just a tantrum? She was happy and content until bedtime. I feel like such a bad parent and God knows what the neighbour really thinks. Sorry if this is all over the place I think I just need some advice or a hand hold or something. She is just so emotional and sensitive recently from no where constantly tearing up.

Also with concerns with my partner he has seen the whole thread as he was also concerned with the other night. He has been fully supportive with her going to talk to someone. This is why i feel I can rule him out as he surely would not be willing for her to go speak to someone if he had anything to hide.

I do appreciate all the advice and support I have received on this post. But can we please not through accusations all over the place. I'm obviously going to look into every possibility for the welfare of my child

Or op she a little girl who is tired with nearly end of school. Shes gotten a bit over anxious with school finishing and holidays starting- all change. So shes had a flip out

Thanks waveysnail this is what I'm hoping too.

She has been absolutely fine since

Whatshall
Since when did you become in charge of who reads what?
What do you think most people use the advanced search for anyway?
There is clearly something wrong within a household if two young girls, a month apart, show similarly fearful behaviour.

But it's not a month apart, it's 13 months apart

I mean the youngest child's screaming about being left was only a month ago

No, if you look at the date of that thread properly it's June 2018.

My mistake on the dates.

Has she had a PSHE lesson at school that has maybe stuck in her mind or scared her...these lessons discuss what to say to others when you are worried and one of the phrases is "Stop it I don't feel safe". Lessons that would also include content suggesting 'talking to someone who understands...'.
That was my first thought on reading your post, anyway.

Could it be that she is feeling unsettled sleeping in too many places? Too many different rules? ( get fathers and your more relaxed home) Nanny’s, yours, her fathers . All different routines, combined with end of school exhaustion.

Is her father being too strict? Unnecessarily so? What kind of person is he?

Children tend to prefer fixed routines to make them feel safe.

Just so you know, I was in no way insinuating your dp was abusing her, but we have to be mindful of all adults in the lives of our children. My line of work makes me cautious.

She only sleeps here with the odd stay at grandparents. Dad only has her for a couple of hours every other weekend. He doesn't have the room for her to stay over night.

When I spoke to her teacher she had mentioned they have had a safety. Talk but she was not present and will look into what was discussed.

She has gone to bed fine again tonight so I'm starting to think maybe it was an over tiered reaction. But will still be looking out for anything else

@urbanlife no offence taken at all. Its important we all look out for children's safety. It's good that it's not such a taboo subject now and can be openly mentioned/discussed.

I think you sound like you're dealing with this really sensibly, OP. I think you're probably taking it about seriously enough - listening and giving her space to talk, but not panicking.
I'm sure you can appreciate that your op could have been explained by lots of different situations. Abuse, poor family dynamic, creaky noises in the walls, overtired child, a phrase she read in a book, worry about something completely daft like a funny spot in the wallpaper ...
Hopefully it'll all sort itself out when school breaks up.

@flamingjune123

🙄🙄🙄

FTFT

Looks to me like she is just over tired, my children are just the same. You sound like a very kind and caring mother, and someone who listens to their children carefully. Your dd is reusing words she heard in the safety talk I am guessing.

In a few weeks she will have her energy back, and you will know for next summer when the end of term approaches to warn your neighbours that tears are likely. I prepared for the end of term like I do for christmas, it is that exhausting. Enjoy the summer!