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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to give back these shoes?

506 replies

daffalicious · 16/07/2019 22:16

My daughter went on a school trip a month ago with walking boots bought the day before so brand new. She has worn them a couple of times since.
Tonight I recieved a text from another parent saying that we have his daughters boots.. they are exact same and bought new for the trip but a size smaller.
I checked and it's true we have the smaller size (I insisted on buying the bigger size even though they needed insole and extra pair of socks!)
Of course we should swap back..BUT the dad says they have been searching at school but can only find 1 of my daughters size.
So it sounds as though his daughter has left the boots at school the past month and now 1 is lost.
AIBU to not want to return the pair my daughter is happily wearing to have 1/ none?! Especially when we have walks planned and I cannot afford to buy another pair!

OP posts:
Woolyheads · 18/07/2019 18:27

I’d give them straight back.

Anniegetyourgun · 18/07/2019 18:35

She's given the boots back, cancelled the cheque, and changed the door code. Next!

supersop60 · 18/07/2019 18:36

Result - you have the boots, and you were RIGHT!

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 18/07/2019 18:38

@Woolyheads - the OP HAS given the boots back - she drove over specially, and the dad didn’t even bother to say thank-you.

It is worth mentioning that, if you click on the v arrow, next to the word Talk at the top of the page, you can customise the threads so that all the OP’s posts are highlighted - that way you can skim through a thread and not miss any updates from the OP, even if you don’t read the whole thread.

mycatisblack · 18/07/2019 18:53

Glad both pairs of boots went back to their correct owners.
Years ago, my DS came home from pre-school wearing an identical pair of well worn and 1 whole size smaller shoes. His were brand new on that day. I know he was slower than the other children to get dressed so I suspect the other child probably saw the same type of shoe, assumed they were his and put them on without realising his mistake.
Whilst I returned the worn shoes to the preschool, I never got his new shoes back. I suspect the other parent saw that they were brand new and the next size up and chose to keep them.
I find that incredibly sad that someone would shaft another parent like that especially as I was going through a tough time supporting DH through cancer treatment and trying to keep things normal for DS and the older adult DC.

SAHDtoday · 18/07/2019 19:05

Legally after 28 days if the property hasn't been claimed then you can keep it, I can see from the posts that OP has returned already tho

pinkpantherpink · 18/07/2019 19:07

Well done OP. You're the bigger and better person X

Rachel1874 · 18/07/2019 19:08

They either need to buy you a new pair because they have lost one or just buy themselves a new pair. I wouldn't give back until I had the pair. It's not your fault they got mixed up and now one is lost and it's not your daughters either.

Alsohuman · 18/07/2019 19:08

Aaaaaaaargh!!!!

Jojofjo44 · 18/07/2019 19:09

Several parts to this, mistakes made by several people.
Fact 1 Your daughter put the wrong boots on and bought them home
Fact 2 Other child hasn't bought similar pair home, resulting in loss of one boot
Fact 3 Presumably no name in either pair
Going back to the beginning, before either pair left home, they should have been signed with their names in therefore probably avoiding mix up
One pair still intact, in your possession. Other pair now useless if one boot isn't found.
I think that you should return the boots that your daughter had, but ask for reimbursement for half the amount that you paid for them as mistakes have been made on both sides.

SAHDtoday · 18/07/2019 19:09

Hope you and your DD get your well deserved apologies from the posters who accused you and her

VenusTiger · 18/07/2019 19:15

How do you know it wasn’t your DD that lost the boot and then saw the replicas and thought they were hers.... so basically this family’s DD might not have done anything in the wrong?

VenusTiger · 18/07/2019 19:16

A couple of pages, yes, 18, nope. We leave a comment and move on.

VenusTiger · 18/07/2019 19:18

@SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius - thanks for that! 😃

DishingOutDone · 18/07/2019 19:19

Reading all this now makes me think no wonder people are so fucking entitled, I wouldn't dream of contacting another parent and saying yeah now I've decided I want x y and z and you MUST NOW PROVIDE WHAT I WANT. I don't think its because he was struggling with a penis either, as many posters on here flag waving for him.

It was probably just a kids mix up, but Boot Dad was a big Cheeky Fucker and society enabled him. nods sagely to self

Turnitaroundagain · 18/07/2019 19:26

How do you know it wasn’t your daughter who lost one of hers so grabbed the other pair?

Turnitaroundagain · 18/07/2019 19:28

Sorry ignore me I see it’s already been said 😐

Mrspenfold123 · 18/07/2019 19:31

So, I’ve read the full thread and it seems OP went above and beyond to do the right thing. And that other dad was an ungrateful SOB.

Doesn’t change my previous analysis based on the original AIBU, though. You can’t lawfully keep property that you know belongs to someone else if they ask for its return, unless you formally let them know that you are holding them negligent for the loss of your daughter’s boots and are holding theirs in lieu of recompense for the boots which they negligently lost. And to reasonably do this you’d need to evidence the other families negligence in not sorting out the issue earlier and/or losing your daughter’s boot.

mummmy2017 · 18/07/2019 19:34

@jojofjo44
Fact 1. OP and DD had no idea they had the wrong boots till yesterday's text
Fact2. Dad had no idea till his DD lost one from a pair that have been used quiet a lot...
Fact 3. Who looks for names everytime they put shoes on....and it was very easy to find out who had same shoes once he saw the mistake.. 3 months after the swap.

Jinxed2 · 18/07/2019 19:37

Anyone else disappointed with the undramatic ending after 18 pages? 🤔🤣

adayatthebeach · 18/07/2019 19:39

We all need to get a life! Grin

Jenasaurus · 18/07/2019 19:52

So if the other child lost the boot at school did she hop home I am confused how you can go to school in 2 boots and leave with 1. Are you sure that the other girl couldn’t find them on the trip so when she got back her dad searched lost property and found the one boot that was discovered on the coach or similar scenario

mummmy2017 · 18/07/2019 20:11

The boots were bought new for the first trip
Used and seen to be worn at school on a walk.

OP hunted and found second one at school yesterday, they were worn down and dirty . .

marvellousnightforamooncup · 18/07/2019 20:39

Why does it always take the woman to find something? Dad and teenage child can't find the boot, OP looks and miraculously there it is. A little event that happens at least weekly in my house.

scubadive · 18/07/2019 21:05

Of course you have to give the shoes back, they are not yours. How odd to think anything else is ok. Your daughter took home someone else's shoes. It is not anyones else's responsibility to look after your daugthers shoes.

So it sounds as though his daughter has left the boots at school the past month and now 1 is lost.

Your daughter has left the boots not his. they are not hers to leave.