Or am I being too mercenary

[Arewenearlytherenow]

If my partner lacks ambition in career, cannot afford a night out and lives from hand to mouth but does nothing to progress her circumstances . I see that I may sound calculated but I cannot afford to support my partner now or in the future and I don’t know what to do. She wants us to live together but I have tenants who help me to pay my mortgage. I can’t afford to pay it myself and she has literally pounds left over every Friday . She will not upskill, hates her work,moans about having no money but wants a future together . I earn well and enjoy a good life but could not financially support her going forward. Feel like a twat but I can’t see a way out . I hope I do not come across as being uncaring because I really do like her . I have many holidays and trips planned but she can not afford to do any type of trip or adventure .

Thanks for replies. Interesting variety of responses .i guess that it comes down to my love for her versus a comfortable life if things stay the same .
I was brought up in a home where hard work and education were held in high esteem . My parents were hard working people who instilled those values into us. We worked part time through second level and university . We enjoyed the benefits as a family, nice home, travel , holidays and deposits for our first homes . This is important to me . Maybe we are too different .

When you have kids and you don’t share the same values it makes life very hard.

I asked upthread but I can't see an answer anywhere - what does she do? What's her degree in?

I’d tell her straight, you can’t live together as you need the tenants to help pay the mortgage.
And you’re fed up with her moaning about having no money and hating work but doing nothing about it. Plus it’s hard to carry on a relationship when she can’t go out and do things. Make it clear you’re not going to be a sugar daddy.

You don't come across to me as someone who's in love, she's just the most suitable woman you've found so far, but your values are very different.

She does nothing to improve her circumstances despite the fact she has no restrictions but her own motivation and in the past, she's been very comfortable to be supported by rich and successful older men.
You have a different ethic and work to afford your own home and enjoy the social aspect of life.

It's hard to imagine a couple with such different approaches to life living harmoniously together let alone raising a family at a later date.

Sounds to me like you'd make better friends with you being happy to sub trips out from time to time.

Honestly, it might be just one area where you feel incompatible, but it's a huge one and finances are a major reason for difficulties in a relationship.

Things only get more stressful between couples when you add in children.

I think this side of her is too much for you to deal with long term by the sounds of things. Her lack of ambition/drive is a turn off for you and seems very unlikely to change if she is now early 30s. Also sounds like you aren't even prepared to pay for nights out at the moment which, as you seem to have a good disposable income, is a bit mean imo.

Last word of advice - use a condom.
You don't want an 'accidental' pregnancy......

She wants us to live together

Yes, I bet she bloody does.

All her previous partners have supported her

Oh God, she's got female cocklodger written all over her. Don't fall for it. Sorry, but she sees you as her meal ticket.

She is a CF to put it lightly. Have you asked her why she lacks ambition?

Oh God, she's got female cocklodger written all over her. Don't fall for it. Sorry, but she sees you as her meal ticket.

I have to agree.

Don't move her in, and if you continue to see her don't trust her with contraception. She sounds like an "accidental" pregnancy waiting to happen.