Those of you who have moved to the UAE?

[MonstranceClock]

What's it REALLY like?

A friend has offered me a place on a graduate scheme at double the starting salary that would be offered here, for when I finish my degree.

However, I'm very feminist and have reservations about moving my daughter there. From everything I've heard via the media, from on here and from other sources, it just doesn't seem that safe a country to raise girls in. However, I am aware this could be my own prejudice as I come from an often misunderstood culture myself.

AIBU to dismiss quite a big opportunity because of doubt I have no real confirmation of? Are there any posters here who have emigrated there and have found it to be no where near as bad as it's portrayed.

Ah, the old reductio ad absurdum argument, standby for those who are running out of facts @SoundsAboutRight:
Then the only place left for her to emigrate to is an Island with absolutely NO other inhabitants.
The OP didn't ask about any other places. She asked about the UAE. Hence people answering with their opinions about - you know, UAE.

May I ask how long you lived there for, whereabouts and when?
You may. 30 months, 2012-15, Al Mirfa.

Not that this qualifies me to have a stronger opinion than those who have not: I haven't lived in N Korea, but am pretty confident I can hazard a guess that it would make me seriously unhappy.

If you want to think about differences between, say, the UK and the UAE, think of this. FGM is legal in the UAE.

It's now fairly recently banned in government hospitals, but allowed in other clinics, and the effect of this 'medically safe' FGM (ie, not by a tribal practitioner in a hut with a rusty razor, but by a medic with sterile instruments in a clinical setting) means that not only are something like a third of Emirati women still being circumcised, but it's become an 'FGM destination' for British girls, whose parents think this is the safe, acceptable and 'modern' way to do it.

There was a horrific case when I was living in Dubai -- an American woman divorcing her Emirati husband allowed their young daughter to go to stay with him and his family for a few days (legally, she won't have had much choice under UAE law). When the child came back, she'd been cut.

This was perfectly legal under UAE law, where FGM is legal and the father is responsible for the child's education, medical treatment etc even while the child is normally resident with the mother.

It will definitely be a no. Luckily I have opportunities elsewhere. I have family in China, another country who pay well.

Thankyou to everyone who has helped me with this.

Sounds sensible OP. As another point, the UAE is rather racist (massive understatement). I'm not sure how the Chinese are viewed there but I wouldn't like to bet it's positive. You're probably better off elsewhere on that basis alone.

@Contessa, have you ever written anything about growing up in the UAE? It would be a very unfamiliar perspective for most of us.

Fancified no, I haven't! However I have heard people like myself described as third culture kids; I.e. we grew up in a culture that is different to that of either parent, which are from different cultures themselves. There are a surprising number of us

That describes me! My father is from Haiti, my mother is from Singapore and I was born in Russia. Moved to England when I was 6.

One of us! One of us!

There's a key difference though; in places like the UK/USA, you do eventually end up being culturally of that country, even if ethnically you're not. In the UAE, OTOH, you were ALWAYS from where your parents were from, even if you were born in the UAE and had lived there forever.

Again, that may have changed over time, but I doubt it. It's a very transitory place, even if you've lived there your whole life (IYSWIM).

I'm a third culture kid too! Never been to Dubai other than the airport but the one contribution I was going to make to this thread was that depending on how long OP moved to Dubai for (OP, I know you have now decided against it) you will be giving them a huge gift - to grow up as an expat kid in an international school exposes you to a huge amount of cultural learning and all manner of experiences, it teaches tolerance and an ability to make friends quickly given the turnover of those schools. However, you also give them an achilles heel; they may never feel truly settled anywhere. I know this is the case for a huge number of my childhood friends and it's not like this huge existential drama, more an ever present wanderlust.

'them' being your children, of course. Should have proofread!

In the UAE, OTOH, you were ALWAYS from where your parents were from, even if you were born in the UAE and had lived there forever

Tbf it’s like that on most countries on Earth, only immigrant countries like US/Canada traditionally have a broader view of citizenship. It’s not a Gulf State thing. That said, Gulf States police it much more closely because they are only 10-12% of the population, so it’s a critical question of cultural identity for them. Other countries really don’t have to think about it much.

Monstrance China is brilliant, I lived there for years. Your feminism will likely be challenged, but there are so many local women (in business, particularly) who are tough as nails and really are inspirational. As a single mum, you’ll stick out somewhat though divorce is becoming much more common.