I feel like I need to vent all of this before I honestly do something stupid.
So here goes.
This time last year I was 20 weeks pregnant with my partner of 4 years. I already have an 8 year old son. I live 100 miles away from my parter at this point I have my own house (rented) I was working part time and had all my family closet by.
Fast forward to now...
I moved last November to my partners brought house ( he pays the mortgage) I left everything.
Iv had his baby, iv moved and changed not only my life but my sons also! And all I get told is how LAZY I am! I clean this home every single day. He does work so many hours during the week and he is extremely tired but he will go to work and come home and basically tell me he's not doing anything with the baby tonight.
Our little girl in 7 months today and things have gone completely bad to worse!
Today I felt like I wanted to hit him and hurt my partner, literally smash his head into a wall or something!
He's been working away all week in lovely hotels and not been getting up until 8am! When iv been up at 5 with the baby! Then this morning he wakes me to tell me he's not getting up and he's been at work all week!
We start rowing again infront of my kids at 6am about who's more tired!! And yes he's been working but atleast he has had a wee without a baby crying at him he's had a whole night sleep without a baby waking him up! He gets to eat breakfast and have a shower while I look after the baby! Something iv not had for 7 months! Not once in 7 months has he asked me if I want to have a bath while he watches her or have a little nap!
But now he's using money to put me down even more!
I literally don't have an income at all he earns really good money so we don't get any help so everything I need or my children need has to go through him and this morning in our row he called me a tramp. I had an interview for a job last week and he went mad when I mentioned it and said "who's going to look after he kids" so I didn't even go to it. He told me I don't bath enough 😩 Like I don't already know🤣 I have two children, a house to run, a mile walk to the school and a mile back again (I can't even find time for a driving lesson)
I feel like iv gave my parter every bit of my soul, my whole life was left behind for him and now I'm lazy or stinky or a tramp for not having money when I literally can not work!
I feel so unimportant to life, I feel so ashamed of moveing in with him and giving him this control I trusted him basically with my life and he's literally just had a baby with me and left me in his house to rot and abuse I feel so sad all the time!
I went to the doctors last week and told them about the way I feel and he put me on antidepressants but that makes me feel so ashamed!
Has anybody been in this situation before and how did they get out of it!
I do love my partner but he expect me to be a 1940 housewife and that's just not me expecially when he's mentally absuing me on top of it all.